Slow Down
by FallOnMe
Summary: Not long after the Battle of Manhattan Natasha reveals to Clint that she is pregnant. Living half in a world of memories and current crisis along with their new found friends, The Avengers, they might find a way to figure it out. Romance/Drama/Family/Friendship/Hurt
1. Chapter 1

**So this is a short chapter in this story. I'm not sure how long it will be, but I'm on chapter 5 and I'll update every three days so I shouldn't fall behind. **

**This is TECHNIQUALLY movie-verse canon, but we don't much about Widow/Hawkeye yet so... I am using details from the comic books but I am forming my own backgrounds and backstories for them, but it doesn't deviate _too _much from the comic books? If it bugs you you've been warned.**

**This is also more than just another pregnancy story. It looks into the Widow/Hawkeye history and relationship as a whole. It is my take on how I think things would happen if they got pregnant. Again everyone is entitled to their own opinions. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Avengers. I am not worthy. **

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Bombs had exploded sending him spinning against walls. Bullets had grazed him and twice hit him in the chest, luckily not near his heart. He'd had more than a few broken and fractured bones, but none of that fazed him or threw him off his game. He would always heal and live another day. And if he didn't there was no one left to miss him or mourn. He had no great responsibility. All his friends understood that even the best fall eventually. Would they miss him? Possibly, but they would move on; they always do.

But then he had been compromised. That didn't happen to him. SHIELDS best fighting op agent. His undercover was questionable but he was put on guard for the tesseract by Fury with the expectation that nothing get past him. It was easy enough. He got to know Doctor Selvig and his fellow physicists, even began understanding some of what they were talking about. His usual partner had taken a leave of absence to do some work outside of SHIELD but when he was done babysitting Selvig, Fury would have them back out in the world protecting special interests and taking down terrorists.

Then came Loki. He didn't feel much guilt for it. He wasn't in control of his actions and everyone around him said that no one blamed him. After all he'd only been himself again for about ten minutes when the Avengers all took off to save the world. Afterwards they'd all gone for swarma and had a celebration at Tony's tower considering it was the only living quarters of anyone in the group that hadn't been destroyed a few hours before. That night he had spent like many others at the end of a tough mission, with Natasha, and the next day they took a rarely given two week vacation in their favorite place, Rome.

Now he was on a roof surveying the entrances of the warehouse where Natasha was taking out opposition to recover one of SHIELDS kidnapped scientists in Northern London. As usual they were quietly arguing over the com system.

"Don't blame me for this taking longer than it was supposed to."

"Well you were the one that insisted on three days of surveillance," Widow said as she took another guard down. Clint could hear a bone break.

"I thought you might want some extra training time after not being in the field for six weeks," he responded watching a window while he shot an arrow through the skull of a stray guard Natasha hadn't killed as she'd thought. As much as he hated it this was to be a mission with no witnesses but him and his partner.

"I've been training for the last four weeks to prove to Fury we were ready to go back into the field." She said quietly.

"You've also been sleeping twelve hours a day. And you refuse to admit it but you've got a stomach bug. That or all your foods gone bad and you keep eating it anyway," Clint said spotting her through the window. She looked thoroughly pissed but he didn't care. He'd worried about taking her with him if she wasn't ready. But it was Natasha and she insisted; she was the only one he really trusted. He only worried now that something really was wrong with her.

"Shut up and grapple down here. I've taken out all the outer guards, but there'll be at least ten men watching the doctor and since you seem so concerned I wouldn't want you worrying about me fighting them alone," she said staring up to the roof he was on with one of her iciest glares. He was definitely hitting a nerve.

He shot the arrow clean to stick to the building as Natasha shot out the window with her silenced pistol. Throwing his bow over the wire he slipped through the window effortlessly. They walked silently to the door where they both checked to make sure enough close combat weapons were within their reach. Clint then got a nod from Natasha and blew the handle off the door with a small explosive arrow.

Rushing in Natasha had shot down 5 men in seconds while Clint shot down 3. The other two were more than just security. Before she got blasted by a machine gun Clint grabbed his partner and pulled her to cover behind an over turned metal table, "What is with you right now Widow!"

"Well Hawkeye in case you haven't noticed we're in the middle of being out gunned," she said before she joined him in taking occasional opportunity shots from behind their barrier.

"No I mean being off your game," he grabbed her down then looking her in the eye. "Something's up with you and as your partner I feel like I should get to know what it is."

She was done being angry with him and hiding. For two seconds then she took off her battle mask and Clint could see a small glint of fear in her eyes as the words left her mouth, "I'm pregnant."

His eyes widened and he let go of her arm as she fired and shot down the two of the remaining men. She began to go around and check for pulses firing one shot into a man's temple. Clint rose a few seconds later, "You really thought this wasn't something worth telling me before going into a building full of men trying to KILL you."

"No because I knew that you would do this. I'm not helpless, nor am I a mother."

He watched as she switched off their private frequency to signal an agent to send them a rendezvous point to collect them and the rescued hostage. He had been through a lot in his life. Bullets, explosives, gods, and aliens had all tried to beat him down, but nothing had ever caught him off guard like this. He didn't know what to think. He and Natasha were the farthest thing he knew from parents. Even Tony and Pepper, who had found out they were expecting two days after the battle of Manhattan, were going to be better parents than the two of them could ever be. They lived secluded lives. They _killed_ people for a living. Last he checked that wasn't a good choice for bring your parent to school day.

And what Natasha had said '_nor am I a mother_'… he thought those words stopped any conversation from occurring. He thought that was the end of it. She didn't want a baby. He wasn't quite sure if he did.

Before kids weren't an option. He had dated two or three girls before SHIELD when he'd been doing open contract work, but nothing ever got more serious than a few dates. Then the life of a field agent took all his time and for a while all he could afford was a small string of one night stands. He felt lucky enough to have gained a partner like Natasha, and the casual sex wasn't bad either, in fact it was the best he'd ever had. But that was the cause of the problem now swirling the thoughts around in his head.

They were silent for the first time ever after a mission. Eventually they changed into civilian clothes and flew on a generic airline with aliases. By the time they were back in New York a word still had yet to be exchanged between the two. They were about to take separate cabs back to their apartments when Clint stopped Natasha by softly grabbing her wrist, "What you said back there…"

"Now you have something to say?" She said turning to him causing him to let go of her.

"I mean do you want to talk about it? I didn't know if you wanted to talk about it or if you were just telling me…" normally he was good with words, but even after nearly twelve hours he didn't know what to say.

"Well then I guess I'll let you know when I make a decision," she said storming off to her cab.

Clint stood there watching her drive off before he pressed his hands against his head closing his eyes in frustration, "God why am I so stupid!"

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**So thats chapter 1! If you have any questions I will be happy to answer them at the beginning of the next chapter. I tried to get them as in character as possible, but I don't know their characters as well as the actual writers so let me know how you think I could improve. the next chapter will be up friday night! **


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you for all the reviews! I'm currently writing chapter 8 and it looks like there may be 15 chapters total. Once I finish writing I may start updating more frequently, but for now its still every three days. And for those who were wondering I will be talking about Tony/Pepper and all the Avengers will be in this story in varying amounts. **

**I hope the characters seem more accurate cause I went to see the Avengers (4th time. still AWESOME) again and I paid really close attention to Clint and Natasha and how they talked to each other and such. So hopefully it'll get better as the story progresses. **

**This chapter is mostly how Clint and Natasha met cause I've had the idea in my head for it since I first saw the Avengers. Please enjoy! **

**Disclaimer: I'm not epic enough to own the Avengers. Joss Whedon is awesome. **

**Warning: this is where the T rating kinda kicks in...**

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When Clint arrived home he dropped his duffle on the ground not bothering to unload his weapons. He had realized on the cab ride home how tired he really was from the op with Natasha. After eating a few stale pieces of bread and leaving a mental note to go shopping after work the next day he fell onto his bed trying to sleep. All he saw was the bland grey ceiling that matched the walls and the stained carpet. He had no home, or at least he liked to pretend this wasn't it. His mind automatically went back to Natasha… the baby. You couldn't have a baby in this place. He'd never seen Natasha's new apartment but he didn't it imagine it would be much bigger or safer, though it might have more color. Everything in his life had no room or time for a baby, and it wasn't as if he would feel guilty if she got an abortion. He didn't mean to seem cold hearted but he killed people for a living, and since he'd killed all those people under Loki's control... what was another life?

So then he wondered why he wanted a say. Maybe even wanted the baby and the only reason was the one thing always on his mind… Natasha.

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It was a little more than three years before the battle of Manhattan, and Clint was alone on a rooftop in Paris watching the most impressive woman he'd ever been sent to kill. He'd been following her on surveillance for about a week and he understood why Fury told him not to go in guns blazing. She was more than just a pretty face or good fighting skills. She could change everything about herself in a second and even after she gotten back to her safe house and hidden her weapons he had no idea what kind of woman she was.

The intel they had told him that she had been trained since a young age by a Russian espionage group known as The Red Room. She had left them three years ago at the age of twenty to pursue a for-hire career as a spy and assassin. The name she went by the most often was Natasha Romanoff but she always operated under the code name given to her by her previous owners, The Black Widow. Although she had been married for a short time to another Russian Spy they didn't think she had any living family (including him). She had no pictures, nor had tried to contact anyone; she was alone.

She was also breathtaking. He'd seen his fair share of pretty faces, blonds, brunettes, even a few red heads, but her auburn caught like fire in his eyes. He'd also seen plenty of slender girls, but the way she could move and she was so strong but still with defined curves. She was the perfect spy for seduction. But mostly he was amazed by the way she handled herself; she knew her worth.

Clint had watched her get much needed information for an international drug shipping ring with seduction skills and a cover with a mask that could not be cracked. For a moment he thought the drug lords were going to kill her for him after they stumbled upon her real identity, but of course that was a ruse. She used fighting skills that he'd never seen to take them all down leaving some alive, some dead, and some even he couldn't be sure.

He was always the first to want to take down the enemy, fight the bad guys, but she was some kind of gift from God in the world of espionage and unknown wars outside the law. Plus killing her would be a waste of a beauty. So on her last night in Paris he knew she'd go to the same little bar she'd been to every night that week and he slipped off the roof to be there waiting.

He was wearing casual clothes. His features looked like they were from a more eastern Europe decent, but French was the best of the 5 other languages he knew, not including English, so acting as a local was the best cover-up he could think of. She strolled in looking tired, and he automatically realized she was dressed much more like an American tourist than a local.

She sat down at the bar and ordered a cheap beer; he could tell her focus wasn't really on drinking. After her third beer she started smiling over at him and sent him a drink over, he pretended it was the first time he'd seen her. When she sauntered over he could tell she thought she was playing him for a fool, having some fun tricking an innocent civilian before getting back to work. He put on his best French accent and he could tell she bought it. Being a 'native Parisian' his English was well taught, but his terminology was a bit off. He pretended to teach her a bit of French and he had a feeling she was testing him to see how much he really did know.

It had been about an hour of this when she ran her hand up his leg and leaned close to his ear, "How about we take this to my hotel?"

He did nothing but smile and allow her to lead him by the hand to the lobby of her hotel. Once they were in the elevator she got close to him but didn't kiss him; she was being cautious and he thought it was almost kind of cute, "You like to play games?"

All she did was smile back and even giggle a little bit. Well he supposed she was pretending to be drunk. When the door opened on her floor she took his hand again and quickly undid the lock to her room pulling him inside. Instantly their lips met and it was a mad rush of energy. It caught both of them off guard. He felt a hunger for her that he'd never felt for any other woman and he made his decision then, after all Fury had left this op to him.

Pulling her closer to him they both felt pure instinct kick in. Neither of them had felt an attraction like this and the walls came down. There was no decision, no real thought, just them and the darkness. For a brief moment, as she pulled him onto the bed to be under her, he remembered all the places she had hidden her weapons around the room because he knew that after all of this was over there would be a fight. But he let his body take back over as she began to take of his shirt.

When he took off hers her skin was still perfect. He had a few scars, but they were all from when he was younger; nothing that would arouse her suspicions. But how she could go through so much training and so many missions without a single scar… she must be better than he thought. Before either of them knew it they were both undressed and when the final moment came she continued to amaze him.

They laid there for about an hour after mulling over their thoughts while pretending to sleep. It was Clint that made the first move. He stood slowly and put his pants back on. When he turned back to the bed to grab his shirt Natasha was already fully clothed and had a gun on him, "You thought you fooled me?"

"Honestly… yes," Clint said holding his hands up, but it was an empty gesture. She knew a gun wouldn't be enough so she began to inch towards him.

"I didn't know they'd send someone so skilled."

"We haven't even fought yet."

"I wasn't talking about you as an agent." He gave her a winning smile continuing to be amazed with her. Before she got any closer he made his move by grabbing a knife from behind the nearest nightstand and throwing it into the barrel of the gun.

"That's a nice trick," she said as she then moved to tackle him before he could grab another weapon.

"Thanks, I learned in the circus," he said as he counteracted against her and made sure they fell with him on top. The room was small but the fight went everywhere. They threw several punches and jabs, both growing weaker as time wore on. She ended up with a split lip from the butt of a knife in her mouth and Clint felt her knife graze his arm then his chest before he could take it from her. It ended with her pinned against the wall a gun to her head.

"Listen. And don't think I won't shoot faster than you can take this gun from me," Clint said quietly. She was still smiling at him.

"Do you always sound this sexy?" she said moving her face closer to his but he remained stone cold even though he ached to move closer to her.

"I can give you three options," Clint said ignoring her comment. "Either I can kill you now as was my assignment, let one of the other five government agencies hunting you down kill you, or offer you a job with the people I work for."

"Listen I've heard this all before. You'll bring me back and torture me for all the information I know before you dispose of me. It's tempting but I have a feeling the people you work for would keep me under lock and key. So I'm going to have to choose option one."

He looked at her then and realized she was tired of it, running around for the bad guys. And in her mind she had been taught that he was the bad guy. She was alone and confused and she was sick of it. His only thought then was that he had to give her option three. He wanted to help her figure out that she could be one of the good guys, "Option three it is then."

She looked surprised for a moment as he cuffed her hands, then her feet, then both to the bed. "If you want to have your way with me again I won't protest, but you might want to undo the ankle cuffs," she said still trying to find a way out of this. Without taking his eyes off her he put his shirt and jacket back on then called for collection telling them to do a sweep of his hotel room first.

"You seem lost," he said as they waited.

She didn't answer but looked at him with soft eyes as if she cared about him or as if he'd saved her from something. And the next day when he got his 'talking to' and debriefing from Fury he found out she'd be assigned as his new partner.

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Remembering back to that look in her eyes that was only the first of many times he saw it and it was her. Every single bit of everything Natasha was could been seen through her eyes when she let someone in and then he realized last night he'd been let in and she was scared. It wasn't that she didn't want to be a mother, but that she didn't know if she could be. Honestly he didn't know if he could be a father, regardless he now knew that all she had wanted was for them to really talk.

He sat up deciding it was time to visit her new apartment for the first time since their exploit with the Avengers, but then he realized she'd probably be about to leave for work now anyways so he dragged himself into the shower his mind trying to come up with the right thing to say and as he got in his cab to go to SHIELD's building in New York he knew exactly what to say.

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**So that was mostly Clint's POV and so was the last chapter so next chapter is more Natasha's POV even though its all third person. I will also say now that decisions about whether to keep, abort, or adopt the baby won't be made until chapter 4 and I'd still like your opinions because who knows... I might change my mind cause I can still rewrite this. **

**And as always anything you'd like me to include or any questions you have just put them in your review and I'll answer at the top of the next chapter :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**So this is the one exception to my three day rule because its really similar to the last chapter, just Natasha. It also where i bring in another Avenger! Probably my favorite aside from Clint and Natasha. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Avengers. **

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When Natasha got home she wanted to disappear. It wasn't as if she couldn't just pack a bag and run away. Her friends, or in other words the Avengers, would go looking for her thinking she'd been kidnapped, but eventually even Clint would give up, but she knew that wouldn't be fair. She was pregnant and at that moment she was solely responsible for the life inside her. It still wasn't real though. She was upset that Clint would get mad at her for going into a mission in her condition, but then she figured if she did end up keeping it then being in the line of gun fire really wasn't a good idea. Then she remembered again that she was constantly in the line of gun fire. Sure she could probably get a risk free job as a secretary. She would still have a pretty face and she had done it many times before, but she didn't know who she was outside her current job.

But she couldn't do _it_. Last week when she found out her doctor offered an abortion option and her head thought yes, then the words that left her mouth were, "I'll think about it." Why did she say that! The second the words crossed her lips she felt more confused than ever. Maybe it was guilt for not telling Clint, after all he did deserve to have a say in the survival of a life he helped make. But now he knew and she still couldn't figure it out.

Honestly she wished she'd never gotten pregnant. She wished Loki had never taken Clint. She wished that she and Clint had spent more time apart so that she wouldn't have felt relief when she finally saw him as himself again. She wished they'd never broken down and said 'screw professional relationships'. She wished she'd never slept with him the first time they met… maybe then she'd just be dead.

Did she want a baby? No, but she didn't not want one. She just never thought she'd be alive long enough for it to happen. Really she needed to talk to a friend. Normally she'd always go to Clint, but he was clearly confused right now too. Tony was never an option. Pepper was pregnant right now and if anything she would just talk her into it. Cap wouldn't get it; he was dismayed by Tony and Pepper having sex before marriage, so she couldn't even image what he'd think of her and Clint having sex with no official relationship at all. Thor probably didn't even own a telephone. Any of her fellow agents at SHIELD finding out could get both her and Clint fired for having an inappropriate relationship. That left only one man so she picked up the phone and made a call to South Africa.

"Hello?" she heard the kind voice over the phone, but he was also confused by who would be calling him from New York when it was nearly 3 am there.

"Doctor Banner, it's Agent Romanoff," she said more formally. She'd kept in touch with the Hulk after he'd left to continue being an invisible American amongst mission workers. They hadn't talked a lot, but they considered each other to be on first name terms and she knew he would be able to help her actually think it through. Waiting for him to move to a place more suitable for a private phone call she realized she was pacing. Since when did she pace?

"Natasha is SHIELD calling me in? Cause I'm a little busy with a cholera outbreak…" he said nervously.

"No. I just need… some advice," she said pausing. He was listening. "I'm pregnant. I told Clint but he hasn't had much to say. I don't even know what I'm thinking."

He paused for a moment before asking what she couldn't answer, "Well, what do you want?"

She was quiet for a moment before she spoke, "I don't know, Bruce."

"But you don't want an abortion?" He knew her and Clint's lifestyle and she appreciated that he was being realistic, not saying it would be easy for them to have a kid.

"I thought I would. I mean I'm not exactly mother material, but I couldn't say yes. I thought it was because Clint didn't know, and now he does and I'm just more confused than ever," she said giving up on trying not to pace. The more she said all of this out loud the more real it became and it was absolutely terrifying.

"Well maybe the reason you can't is because you do want the baby, but everything you've been taught as an agent tells you that you don't." His suggestion was logical, but it struck a nerve. The Red Room had taught her many things; made her almost emotionless, but she'd been turning some of that around. She'd made friends that she actually cared for and tried to find the more consistent parts of her personality. Clint had said since he'd met her that night in Paris she'd changed for the better, but she still didn't really know what that meant.

The one rule she had kept and planned to was that love is for children. That's why she was scared when Loki's threats actually frightened her a little. That's why she tried to ignore the twists in her stomach as she waited for Clint to wake up to see if he was back to normal. It was true that she owed him a debt and she still felt she had yet to repay it, but could this be love? Could the reason she couldn't abort her baby because… she loved it? "Natasha, are you still there?"

She was pulled out of her fog, "Its instinct to want to protect your offspring right?"

He could see where she was trying to steer this, "Yes but people who have their instincts rewritten or set off balance would usually reverse that. Listen Natasha I don't know all that you've been through and I don't need to, but I saw the footage of what Loki said to you, and I think this is something you need to acknowledge has changed in you. Love isn't just for children. Plenty of very serious grown up people feel love and can put those feelings aside when they need to."

"Bruce I don't love Clint. He's my partner. Neither of us have had time to be romantic." It was true. They had eaten dinner together, but it was always away on an op or waiting for a rendezvous. She supposed they did take their vacation time together. She could push that off as time to have sex though… their job didn't present much opportunity for it otherwise. But then again they would lay in bed all day sometimes just talking to each other, looking at each other. He knew every intimate detail of her life. Everything she'd ever been through, everything she thought she may be afraid of. Clint knew her better than she knew herself… but that was because they were partners. Your partner had to know everything…

"Love isn't always about romance," Bruce said trying to not let her talk her way out of what she was coming to realize. "Love is about wanting to be with someone, connecting with them on a deep level. Really it's different for everyone and can't be defined but Natasha if you really want to find out what decision to make think of all the possible outcomes and choose which would make you happiest. I've gotta go though, they just brought in another kid."

"Go help, but thank you Bruce," she said having her thoughts finally start sorting themselves out.

"Of course, and let me know if I need to come visit and bring a present for the baby." With that he hung up and Natasha hated how his genius could figure out what she would choose, but regardless she thought it out.

Option 1: She have an abortion and wonder what could have been; why she couldn't let herself do it in the first place. Probably deal with some awkward missions with Clint because something told her something in him wanted to have some part of his life be normal. Nothing would probably ever be the same between them again, but in any of the situations nothing would.

Option 2: She could go through with the pregnancy and have the baby adopted. Although Clint would still be hurt with her thinking they couldn't be parents he would probably resent her less for not killing the life they created, but their partnership would still be knocked down a few levels. She would then also have to have the constant worry that the baby was wondering where his or her real parents where, what they were like; the second part she often wondered herself. And of course the worst thought: what if the baby ended up in some horrible, unsafe, abusive place.

Option 3: She and Clint could have a baby. It meant they would want to move in together and they'd have to keep it a secret from SHIELD. Well they would know as soon as Clint's name went on the birth certificate… but they would have to keep it a secret until then. It would mean at least eighteen years of worry and actually needing to try to not die on ops. One of them would have to try to be doing paper work while the other was risking their life so that their child wouldn't be orphaned like both of them had been. So their partnership in the field would be over, but it would live on in real life and probably be stronger than ever. She could only imagine what all their friends would say… But over all of this with option three she would have to be ready to actually love another human being. That she was not sure if she could do.

After thinking it all through she knew that the only person she could really make this decision with was Clint so she got in the shower to get ready for another long day of training at work. Once she was ready she knew all her training gear was at work so she pulled a nice bag out of her closet and took a quick look in the mirror. Her hair had grown a little longer in the past few months, but it was still organized in its usual wavy pattern. Because it would be strange if people walked into an office building in New York wearing militant-like gear everyone was required to walk in wearing suits and proper work attire. Natasha focused her attention back on the mirror to see the tight black dress and red belt she was wearing with her usual heals. She knew that at six weeks it wasn't really possible but she quickly looked away when she thought she saw a slight curve outward on her stomach.

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**So thats Natasha POV of everything at this point and we got to hear from the Hulk! Well Banner really... but he's cool either way. Next chapter is Natasha and Clint talking and will be uploaded early on tuesday. **

**You reviews always inspire me to write faster and look deeper so any questions or general thoughts please review! And as always I'll comment at the top of the next chapter :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you so much for all the reviews! And I've decided what I'm going to have happen for everything for the story but I don't want to spoil it. In other news I saw The Amazing Spiderman at midnight, and although I don't feel like anything will beat the Avengers anytime soon, it was so amazing! Andrew Garfield did a great job and it was way more accurate with the comic book. **

**Anyways this chapter is them talking so a final decision is not made, but part of it is. **

**Disclaimer: Stan Lee is a God. I am not a God. Therefore I am not Stan Lee and do not own the Avengers. **

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When Clint walked into the SHIELD building he knew he was earlier than usual. The first place he went was the locker room to change into his training gear. Closing the locker the last person he thought he'd see when he closed it was Natasha. "So how about later we get lunch," she said trying to keep it casual. There were security cameras everywhere and what they were going to be talking about at lunch was NOT something they could talk about where anyone may overhear.

"Yah sounds good," Clint said as he followed her to their usual training gym, which at this point seemed like a bit of a joke.

Even though it was all randomized the fake warehouse hallway system with dummy guards never tricked Natasha anymore and the thrown targets and obstacle courses requiring trick arrows never fooled Clint. They were by every definition the perfect agents, which is why they got away with sleeping with each other. And it was true that although no one could confirm it the rumors were most likely about to be confirmed.

They practiced hand to hand combat for the last hour and Natasha could tell Clint was going easy on her so after a few dodged kicks aimed for his head she punched him hard in the face and took him to the ground, "If you don't want it to hurt next time take me seriously."

He then used his strength to flip and pin her and answered, "I always do. I was just waiting for my opening." He then smiled at her as she scowled slightly and he helped her up off the ground, "How about an early lunch?"

She smiled back at him feeling normal for about five seconds, "Yah I'll meet you outside the locker room when you're done."

Although neither of them ever bothered to shower before going anywhere after work she still showed up outside his locker looking like she hadn't just trained for four hours. Trying not get distracted by the view he had of her chest, he shut the locker again and she straightened his tie, "You've been wearing one of these everyday for six years and you still can't do it right."

"Well I guess it was never very important for the thirty minutes a day I wear it," he said smiling at her as she continued smirking at him. They then casually walked down the several winding hallways and out the front door of the SHIELD building. "Where do you want to go?" He asked, but she was already walking in the direction she wanted.

After following her for three blocks they arrived outside of a little burger joint near Times Square and they walked in. He let her order for him; she'd watched him eat enough burgers to know he liked lettuce, cheese, pickles, and whatever sauces they had, but nothing else. She'd never been a fan of burgers though and often took some persuasion from Clint to go to lunch for them, so this felt like a treat for him. Really it was just the beginning of a string of cravings Natasha was trying not to acknowledge.

They sat down at a small private table in the corner with their food looking like any normal pair of business partners out for lunch. "I've been thinking," Natasha said putting down her burger and Clint swore it had the same contents as his. "And I want to know what you think we should do."

He had expected everything to be thrown in his face like this so he was ready, "I think ultimately it's up to you and I want you to remember that I'm your partner and I've always got your back, but I was thinking that maybe having something more… real in my life might be nice." She couldn't tell what that really meant, but she knew he wasn't about to disagree with what she had to say.

"I went through all the options," Natasha started and Clint couldn't help but think how much like her this was, "And I think that with all the lives I've taken, giving the world one might help clear some of the red out of my ledger, but realistically… we're not parents."

He was quiet for a minute thinking about the truth in her words before she started talking again, "I'm not saying that us raising the baby is out of the question I just know that isn't something either of us can really decide right now. One night is not enough time to know what to do, but I can't just get rid of it."

"I don't think I could let you," he said back confirming that her want to keep the baby was the right one. "I'll be there whenever you need me. When are you going to tell Fury?"

"When he notices," she said finishing her burger twice as fast as Clint had. Clint was trying not to get into an argument with Natasha, but she could tell this wasn't making him very happy.

"Look Nat, I'm going to let you make your own decisions but if we do decide to be parents I don't think letting you get shot at is going to want to be remembered as our first decision as parents," he said trying to get her to listen to him in a more constructive way than the usual arguing.

"Well we're not being assigned for at least another two months and if he hasn't noticed by then and stuck me on desk work then I'm going to start thinking he's lost it."

"So that's Fury, but what about everyone else," he said quietly realizing that their friends, two of which they ran across at SHIELD on a fairly regular basis, were going to catch on.

"You said you've got my back. You tell them," if he wanted to fight her on this she would be sure to point out everything she'd be going through over the next seven+ months having his kid.

"I'll talk if you're there to kick Tony's ass when he starts saying 'I told you so,'" he said smiling at her again. Tony had been trying to prove they were sleeping together since the Battle of Manhattan.

"You know I wouldn't rather do anything else," she said slightly returning the gesture. It made him happy that she wasn't as stressed anymore… at least hopefully she wasn't.

They finished eating but didn't want to go back to SHIELD for their meetings that afternoon. They sat and spoke casually like they did in their downtime ignoring all of the stress that was about to overtake them in the coming months. When they knew they couldn't wait any longer Clint threw away their wrappers and held the door open for Natasha.

They were about to reenter the SHIELD building when a little boy came running up to Natasha a worried look on his face, "Have you seen my mommy?"

She leaned down to be face level with him, "Well, where was the last place you saw her?" He pointed down the street the opposite way she and Clint had come and then she asked, "What's your name sweetie?"

He looked at her nervously. Living in New York his parents had probably told him not to give his name out to strangers, "Tommy."

"Okay Tommy, take my hand and show me exactly where you last saw your mommy," Clint decided to follow her and the small boy. He had to admit that he'd never seen this side of Natasha, although most of the time they were around children they didn't have time to stop and say hello. They walked two blocks south, then one block east where they saw a tall woman, who greatly resembled the boy, calling out for a Tommy. Clint stood back as Natasha kindly walked the boy over to his mother. The woman dropped the two grocery bags she was holding and held onto the boy for dear life.

After receiving a few thank-yous Natasha walked back to Clint, "You didn't have to come with us,"

"Well you never know when it's a trap," and Natasha of all people knew that was true, she'd been tricking people since she was eight. At least Clint had the courtesy to keep that in mind.

Suddenly she felt a tug on the back of her dress and she looked down to see Tommy holding up a flower towards her, "My mommy said I could give it to you for helping me find her."

She bent down to see him again, "Thank you so much Tommy. I'm just glad we were able to find her."

The little boy went running back to his mother and with one final wave they disappeared into the crowd. She and Clint began quietly walking back to SHIELD and all he could picture was Natasha with a little red headed boy with her deep green eyes. They'd take him to Central Park; maybe make a family trip to Coney Island. Then that word struck his heart and he realized what he wanted; family.

His parents had both died when he was six years old and after his brother basically left him for dead when he fell off the top platform under the big top, Clint didn't really bother to try to stay in contact. But it was never something he stopped wanting. He was fourteen when he and his brother ran away to the circus and his favorite job before he started learning his act was perching up near the top of the big top and people watching. He'd see plenty of families, but every once in a while he'd see a truly happy one. Two maybe three kids, all toting stuffed animals and candy, with a happy mom and dad with a type of love and communication that needed no words. He wanted that more than anything else in the world. When he became a master assassin at 21 that dream flew out the window. Now it was seven years and many close encounters with death later and the want he thought he'd left behind came resurging through him.

Natasha had begun to walk up the steps to SHIELD when he grabbed her hand, "We could do it you know… be parents."

She just smiled at him and kept walking, but he'd made his decision and now all he had to do was to convince her.

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**So Clint wants the baby! But Natasha is heavily leaning towards adoption so we'll have to see what they decide. **

**If you guys have any ideas for fluff or hijinks I've already written the Avengers' reaction, but I'd love some more ideas! And as usual if you have any questions or comments for this chapter I'll write the answers at the top of the next one. Also whether they have the baby adopted or keep it they're going to name it so start leaving suggestions for boys and girl!**

**Next update will be late Thursday night/early Friday morning. **


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey all! I so appreciated the reviews and name suggestions. Although I still don't know if it'll be a boy or girl (I'm probably going to flip a coin) I'm definately putting some into consideration! Some of the plot suggestions I've actually already written (since I'm on chapter 12 myself). Great minds think alike, yeah? **

**Anyways this is another bit of Clint and Natasha's back story, a bit of fluff, and the first doctors visit. I will also say all of this is knowledge from family, movies, and some guessing so if I get some information wrong... my bad. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Avengers. If I did it wouldn't have been as awesome. **

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It had been a month since Clint and Natasha had talked about what they were going to do. She was still thinking adoption was their best choice and while outwardly Clint was supportive he was trying to find ways to show her they should raise the baby.

It had been a week after the talk that he started staying at Natasha's apartment. Although Natasha insisted she could take care of herself Clint said the adoption decision wasn't final and that if they decided to be parents living in two seperate places wouldn't really work to their advantage. So she let him in the door with a small bag full of his few possesions and said it was because of his reasoning, but really she just loved his presence and secretly thought that maybe they should have just started staying together along time ago.

Living together went better than expected. They just told everyone who noticed them arriving in the same cab that they met up and shared the fare. On their weekend days off instead of sulking at a local bar or pretending they forgot they had the day off and training anyway they spent the days together. Natasha learned that Clint's time working for a traveling circus had actually made him a good cook and he learned she had a few guilty pleasure reality TV shows for the days she had nothing better to do. Clint learned Natasha had never read any worthwhile books (in his opinion) and she learned when he couldn't sleep in between the show's stops he had read over a hundred classic novels.

It was nothing unusual to them. Since they had become partners they spent almost all their time together, or within each other's presence, but this was a little different. It felt domestic. They were falling asleep on the couch watching TV, doing the crossword while sitting on Natasha's small deck drinking coffee, and arguing over where the new chair Natasha had ordered months ago should go. It bothered both of them inwardly at times, but then they thought that they deserved a little bit of normal for the first time in their lives and really they liked it.

That morning Natasha woke up to see Clint sleeping peacefully next to her. They'd had a fight last night about whether or not Clint should go to her ten week appointment with her. After a few broken plates (they had been doing dishes) she agreed that Clint was her partner in all this so he should go. Then Tony had called and said Pepper was having a small party for the Avengers since Bruce had a two day layover in New York before he flew to South America. Clint had said that of course he'd be there and would call Natasha to get her to go as well. That's when he got a smack on the head from Natasha.

"Pepper will know!" She'd started. Clint thought sometimes he could see a bump where their baby was supposed to be, but other days her stomach was as flat as always. None of the other Avengers would have noticed and Bruce would have kept his mouth shut, but then Natasha continued to explain how you didn't need to have it be visibly noticeable. Pepper was one of Natasha good friends, not nearly as close as Clint but after she'd infiltrated Stark industries she'd kept in touch and Natasha found that Pepper had been suspicious at the time; she was incredibly good at reading people, and Natasha knew it would take one look at her to know her and Clint's secret.

"Okay well we'll put on our poker faces. You and I keep secrets for a living," Clint said trying to convince her not to kill him before they got there.

"Clint, I am not ready to tell them yet," she said closing in on him.

"Well Natasha everyone's going to find out eventually," he said trying to remind her that his mistake was really just shortening their time of ignorant bliss towards the future by a few weeks.

She proceeded to lecture him and get mad some more when he used his no fail distraction by pulling her close and kissing her. Over the years the fire they'd felt in Paris became barely a spark compared to what they felt now. It was the normal physical reaction for your body to react that way right? They ignored that it could mean something more and decided that their bodies were made for each other.

And last night was the first time they'd slept together since their vacation to Rome after Natasha got Clint back from Loki. She didn't know what it was but last night didn't last long enough; she could have been with him forever. Maybe it was because it had been angry sex? No they'd had that plenty of times before. She looked at him sleeping like he had not a care in the world and she stopped worrying allowing herself to bring her body closer to his and she felt his arm sleepily pull her closer.

He woke up slowly feeling Natasha drawn close to him. Last he remembered they'd been fighting. Well they were having sex but the whole time he could still feel Natasha's rage. Looking at her now she looked calm, worry free and he wished he'd seen her like this more before. The last time he remembered her like this was their trip to Rome two years before after the two week Persia operation.

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Natasha posed as a beautiful partygoer at an Oil Tycoons yearly summer solstice celebration. The whole time Clint was nothing but surveillance for Natasha, her back up. He watched them dance and Natasha's backless, red dress flared across the she was beautiful. As the week wore on their cover-up hotel room received many expensive gifts and it was all going according to plan. She then met him for dinner one night at the most exclusive, expensive restaurant in the area. Clint posed as their waiter and the oil man had no recognition of the supposed technology developer form Germany that had been at his party a week before. Natasha had told him he should have kept the pants, that they looked good from behind. He laughed.

Although Natasha never had to sleep with him she had the man strung around her finger in only one more week. She then proceeded to meet Clint in the man's secret office letting her partner in through the vent system. They downloaded all the encrypted files onto a small portable hard drive for someone at SHIELD to decode and Clint was out just as silently as he'd come in as Natasha reactivated the security system then disappeared out of the man's life forever.

They'd debriefed with Agent Coulson then he handed them both airplane tickets to anywhere they wanted to go. They'd only been partners for a year and had slept together less than a handful of times, usually because they were bored or arguing, but for some reason Natasha suggested they take their week off in Rome. They didn't have much time to be tourists in between the days spent in bed and the nights spent talking on the terrace.

Clint learned all about the emotional cost of being the Black Widow, The Red Room's greatest creation. He saw her longing for greater emotion, but still the value in her skill to be whoever she imagined and why she was afraid that opening herself to emotions would take away her one true skill.

Natasha learned how he got his name Hawkeye and the brother he'd left behind to gain it. She learned about how he'd longed to do something greater with his life than do tricks for a thieving man and how his fall off the high wire finally gave him that chance, but made him lose the only piece left in his family.

After that week when they returned to SHIELD their usual communication as partners had more than quadrupled and until Natasha took the job as Iron Man's secretary, Natalie Rushman, no one thought they should be separated in the field and they hadn't been. Natasha had felt more than anything on that trip that she did owe Clint a debt and it wasn't for letting her live, it was for letting her feel again, even if it was just for those seven days.

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And now as he watched her all he wanted to do was go back to that trip to Rome. He peered over at the clock on the night stand dismayed once he saw that it was almost 10 am and Natasha's appointment was at 11, at least a thirty minute cab ride away. He brushed some of the red hair away from her face, "Nat, it's time to wake up."

"Don't bring that up now. Today's supposed to be our day off," she said shifting to look at the clock. "Crap!" She jumped out of bed once she saw the time and rushed to the bathroom as Clint laughed. He moved to the closet and put on a gray t-shirt with jeans remembering he left his jacket by the door. It really only took him ten minutes to get ready so he flipped on the local news channel for the weather and popped a few waffles into the toaster, the first round for him, the second for Natasha. She came out of the bathroom ten minutes before they had to leave. Her hair was in a ponytail and she put on a simple burgundy t-shirt with plain jeans. The hair made her look more casual than usual, but if you added a gun strapped around her waste it was what she wore around the helicarrier. It was his favorite look for her.

Handing her the waffles with syrup she grabbed them obviously hungry, "I know you like the homemade ones better but I knew we didn't have time."

She put down the fork a few minutes later, "Come on we're going to be late." She threw him his coat and quickly buttoned up hers. They quietly road the elevator downstairs and piled into a cab as she gave the cab driver the address to her doctor.

About halfway to her doctor's office Clint quietly spoke up, "You feel nervous."

How he could sense people's emotions still got to her, "I'm just not sure what to expect."

He held her hand then, "Well it's just ten weeks so how much could it really be?" She realized Clint was right. They didn't have to make any final decisions now. As long as the baby had a heart beat and no birth defects they didn't have to worry about anything else. She had been reading some pregnancy articles after Clint fell asleep and they said the moment parents usually felt more attached to their child was at the first ultrasound hearing the heartbeat and seeing the baby on the screen. She was afraid that it might be too much for her. She still wanted to adopt the baby, so she reminded herself who the master of her emotions was, she could be detached.

"Yah," Clint finished, sensing her uneasiness disappear. He was still trying to convince her and himself that they could be parents. Every day it got a little easier to image him, Natasha, and a baby as family, but it didn't mean his logical mind didn't sometimes wedge its way in and remind him that he killed people for a living.

When they stepped into the office on the seventh floor they were clearly out of place. There were very pregnant mothers and women holding small babies all around them. Highlights and pregnancy magazines seemed to be the only reading material and she was glad they hadn't shown up any earlier than they needed to. Clint sat down while she collected paperwork and there was a lot. Just in case SHIELD's detection system picked up her name she said she wanted the father to remain anonymous until it came to the birth certificate and that Clint was a supportive friend. She also knew Clint's medical diagnostics from his file and there was nothing in his genetic history that could be of worry.

"Natasha Romanoff?" a nurse called out and she stood quickly. Although she hated doctor's offices, waiting rooms were the worst. They said there was no need for a robe so she laid down on the table and Clint sat on the side without all the machines.

"Hello!" A cheery woman said peaking into the room. "And it looks like you're Natasha Romanoff…" Clint decided to stay quiet after he introduced himself, but he wasn't a fool; his ears were diligent as his eyes wondered. The doctor went over all the mood swings and hormone changes that would be happening in her body. It did explain why she'd actually been emotional lately… and a lot more angry. The Doctor talked about what each trimester meant for her body and Clint realized he was going to be with a very irritated Natasha when the baby grew too big for her to train.

Then when they started talking about what would happen after the baby was born Natasha could feel Clint stiffen a little at the mention of adoption, but she made sure the doctor knew it was a plan she was considering. The doctor assured that the decision didn't need to be made now and that there were never enough babies up for adoption in New York; her baby would have a good home.

After more than enough talking for Clint the doctor pulled over the ultrasound machine and squirted some of the blue gel onto Natasha's now exposed abdomen. The doctor made a strange face when Natasha didn't even flinch. Slowly moving the wand around her lower abdomen Clint heard and saw it first just like always. If you squinted the figure of a tiny (sort of) human could be seen on the screen and the quick heart beat filled the room.

Natasha soaked in only the doctor's words that the baby was healthy and developing normally. Clint was amazed. He stared at the tiny figure on the screen wondering how two people responsible for so much death could create life…

After a short time the doctor switched off the screen and printed out a still shot and handed it to Natasha. She slipped it in her purse and Clint made a mental note to make sure she didn't throw it away.

Altogether the doctor visit had been like business to the two of them. The whole thing had felt like a part of a mission and now they were about to embark on the next part that night… telling their friends.

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**Oh don't you just hate me for making you wait one more chapter for the friends reactions? But a few things I'd like to clarify**

**1. In an interview when asked if Hawkeye and Black Widow had a more than friend relationship Mr. Renner and Ms. Johansson said their characters felt a lot of love and hate for each other. So I imagine that while Clint and Natasha have their lovey moments they also fight... a lot. **

**2. The baby looks kinda weird at this point thats why I put sort of human like in the descriptio, but the baby is 100% human. No weird alien spawn here.**

**But as usual any questions, comments, or suggestions I love them all and they seriously do inspire me to write more! Also more baby names. Always more of those. **

**This update is early but thats because really early Sunday morning I leave for a camping trip and will be gone until Tuesday night. I will update Saturday night before I leave and update again the second I get back since the chapters are already written. Yay for planning! So enjoy this chapter and I'll see you again Saturday night for the groups reaction :)**


	6. Chapter 6

**They all! So most of the comments I got were 'I hope they keep the baby!' but you won't know whats going to happen for a while because I feel like them just making the decision isn't easy enough so after this chapter the fillers stop and the action begins! But I had to write the friends (The Avengers) reactions first!**

**So keep in mind that this story is not meant to be the fluffy Clint and Natasha have ALL the babies story. So I feel some peoples reactions from friends are a little off too. I mean you are free to disagree, its just a warning. And I know Pepper is really OOC. I blame her pregnancy hormones...**

**Also I saw Spiderman again and the extended Bourne Legacy trailer again. I can't wait for Jeremy Renner to kick even more ass! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Avengers... That is all. **

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It was a lazy autumn evening when Clint and Natasha stepped out of their cab outside Stark Tower in New York. Tony had sent them all a message that the party would be on the 50th floor. Once inside Jarvis did a facial identification for both of them and then sent them to the floor as soon as they stepped in the elevator.

Natasha was wear a slimming, green dress that cut off at her waist then flowed to stop a few inches below her knees. It was much more casual than what she usually wore to parties but this was just a gathering of friends and the dress made any change in her midsection undetectable. Clint stood beside her in black slacks and a royal blue shirt that Natasha insisted brought out the blue in his mostly grey eyes. He didn't want to bother with the tie or jacket.

Before they stepped out of the elevator Natasha looked over to him quickly, "We'll tell them at dinner when no one will try to hug us." He gave her a fast nod of agreement as the door opened to reveal their friends.

They saw Bruce first. He was discrete not even casting an unnoticed glance to Natasha's stomach. He just asked how the two where and they replied that unfortunately work was still busy. He nodded solemnly also knowing that his work to better the world would never really be done. They talked for a few minutes about what he had been doing in South Africa and the fact that he may have found a vaccine for cholera. They wouldn't have minded talking to only Bruce the entire evening, until Tony decided to make his big entrance.

Steve had been talking to Thor a few feet away on the couch about why a suit was proper earth attire for a dinner party, not battle gear, when AC/DC starting coming from hidden speakers in the room and they all looked towards the elevator door as Tony, wearing an all black suit with a silver tie, came strutting into the room a now visibly pregnant Pepper not far behind.

"Jarvis we're done with the music," Pepper said clearly done with Tony's antics for the day. She insisted on helping him run Stark Industries during her pregnancy and everyone could tell that after a long day of work she only wanted this to be quiet evening with friends. "It's so good to see you all again!"

Pepper then went around greeting everyone while Tony prepared drinks at the mini bar. Everyone got the same hello and a smile, but when she arrived at Natasha the spy could tell she lingered, she knew, "Everyone dinner will be ready in about five minutes! And Natasha if you wanted to freshen up with me quickly first?"

Natasha nodded with a smile but turned to Clint shooting him a death glare before she and Pepper turned the corner to the bathroom. He knew he was going to get the full force of her temper later.

Once the door was securely shut Pepper turned quickly to Natasha, "Why didn't you tell me!"

Natasha was going to be the person she always was with Pepper- a good friend, "We just found out a month ago and we wanted to make sure the baby was healthy before anyone knew. We're going to announce it at dinner tonight."

"Oh Natasha that's wonderful! I knew there was something between you two from the second you all came back to the tower that day." Pregnancy had made Pepper bubbly.

Natasha cut her off before she could continue, "What do you mean? Clint and I?"

Pepper nodded but the other woman quickly corrected her, "No we're not romantic at all… we're actually thinking adoption is our best option. Two assassins should not be raising-"

It was Pepper's turn to interrupt, "Tony is the last man on Earth that should be having a baby. He is irresponsible, childish, selfish, I mean he's really just a three year old with a big brain and fancy toys, but I know that when the time comes he'll be a great father."

"But Clint and I aren't in love or together like you and Tony… you'll be parents… we'd be…" Natasha wasn't quite sure how to word her response so that Pepper would understand.

But Pepper knew exactly what she wanted to say, "I think you should take another look into that" Then the woman slipped out the door before Natasha could ask what she meant and left the Russian wondering if she'd be in the same place as Pepper in two months time.

When Natasha worked her way back to the others they were all moving to sit at the table overlooking the city. She made sure her seat was next to Clint. Pepper sat on her right, Tony on Clint's left so that both Starks took the heads of the table. Thor then sat next to Tony, Steve next to Pepper with Bruce in between.

"I have to say Stark, the view from the inside makes the outside not as bad," Steve said rethinking his comment on the helicarrier all those months ago.

"I'll take that as a compliment, Cap," Tony said as the first round of food arrived. It was some kind of chicken dish with mushroom sauce. Natasha knew nothing she ate that night would make her sick so she didn't bother to leave anything behind on her plate. Realizing that she was eating faster than the others she tried to slow down and join into the conversation, but it was pointless. All the men were talking about their weapons and most impressive moments and Natasha didn't care to put in her opinion. She also avoided Peppers glance because she did not want to be getting pressured into raising a baby she wasn't sure she wanted.

Ultimately she sat quietly and observed, the job usually left to Clint, but for some reason since they'd left the doctor's office he was in a much friendlier mood than normal and took her place as the social one for the night. After the man waiting on them came to refill everyone's wine glasses, some for the second time, Tony decided to choose that moment to be observant, "Last I checked Natasha you were very good at holding your licker. So what's with you and the untouched wine glass?"

She was about to give a reasonable answer when she saw Pepper and Tony make eye contact. Shit.

"No!" Tony exclaimed throwing his glance quickly between Natasha and Clint now both with stone cold expressions trying to conceal the truth for a few moments longer. "What? Did you two secretly get married? Get caught having sex? You know I'm going to figure it out so you might as well-"

Clint didn't want to here anymore from Tony, "She's pregnant."

Everyone was quiet for a second before Bruce broke the silence with congratulations he'd wanted to give them at the beginning of the evening. Steve looked a bit annoyed as he had when Pepper and Tony announced their bringing another life into the world. Thor was rambling about what a warrior their child would make. And Tony… well he was about to get socked in the face by Clint, "See I knew it! I knew you two were sleeping together! Miss Unemotional finally found love. I just knew it! You two just can't seem to keep your hands off each other. And how does this make you feel Robin Hood? Finally saved the towns people and got the princess or should I say… Cupid?"

The last comment was enough for Clint and before Natasha could make her move the archer had the billionaire pinned to the ground with the others trying to ignore the situation that became more awkward by the second. Clint bent down close to Tony, "Don't _ever_ call me Cupid."

He then released the man to sit up taking his seat again next to Natasha.

She started the small speech she'd been running in her head on the way over, "We don't want everyone to get excited. While Clint and I acknowledge the value of the life we created, we aren't sure if raising the baby would be fair to it. The decision isn't final, but we're greatly considering adoption."

It was quiet for a moment while the information soaked in. Bruce was about to speak up saying he thought it was a mature decision when Steve had had enough of unmarried people having babies, "How can you just give your baby away?"

Natasha was taken aback by his forwardness, "Well we wouldn't be giving it away. We just think that with our careers it wouldn't be fair for any kid to have to-"

"But you're just going to give up? You're going to let your career of killing people take a higher priority than a life you've created, you're responsible for. How could you?" Steve finished with an angry look on his face. Really Natasha knew he was frustrated because he didn't understand. The world he lived in was so different from the one he grew up in where everyone was a part of a family.

She either didn't care enough to respond or didn't want to show how much she did care with her answer when she quietly excused herself from the table. Clint followed her out onto the terrace hoping everyone would let them have a moment alone.

Once he sat down next to her and put his arm around her shoulder she leaned into him. "We're not giving up are we?"

He realized then that it was bothering her that they were considering adoption and now was his chance. He could turn it all around, but then he remembered that adoption was still the smarter choice and if it was what they chose he couldn't let Natasha feel guilty for it, "No we're not giving up. We're being mature. Good parents know what's best for their kid and if we're not what's best for ours than someone else must be. We're never going to be able to move out to the suburbs and get normal jobs outside of SHIELD. I mean we could get a bigger apartment in the city and make sure neither of us went on missions at the same time… but in the end if we don't think that'd be the best life for the baby then adoption wouldn't be giving up. It would be giving him or her a better life."

Natasha looked up at Clint then realizing for the first time that he'd put real thought into them raising the baby themselves, being a family. She could almost see it then for a moment, her and Clint drinking coffee out on the deck with a small boy sitting on his lap reading the comics with him. It would be a normal Sunday morning, not too different from the ones they shared now. But then she remembered that Clint might not be there because he was in China looking into an illegal shipping ring or in Mexico trying to shut down another drug cartel's operations. She might not be there either, and what if one of them never came back?

Trying not to give him too much hope she realized that despite the negatives raising the baby didn't seem like such an impossibility anymore, "Well maybe when it comes time to decide we won't have to give up."

He tried not to give away the happiness he felt from her words as he helped her stand back up, "I know you'd hate to miss dessert."

They made their way back to their seats inside. Tony gave a half ass apology, probably threatened out of him by Pepper, and Steve didn't say anything just going back to his polite self. For the rest of the evening the topic of Clint and Natasha didn't come up, but plenty of others did. Apparently Thor had found new passages to Earth and had been visiting Jane more frequently. Tony and Pepper also announced that last week they'd found out they were having a boy. Of course Tony was excited to get him into a suit insisting he'd be able to pilot it by the age of four. None of them doubted it.

As the evening drew to a close Pepper invited everyone back for Christmas casting her glance towards Clint, Natasha, and Steve especially since they all lived in the City. They all said they'd try to make it, Thor wanted to come just to know what the tiny humans meant by Christmas.

As Natasha and Clint got into their cab both felt like today had been one of the longest days of their lives. Natasha looked over to Clint, "Just like Budapest."

He laughed and smiled, "Everything reminds you of Budapest."

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**I don't know if I'll ever write Budapest, but I felt like running with the joke. So Steve's reaction of 'unmarried people should not have babies! Come on people be responsible!' is different, but I feel like thats what he'd really say. Captain America does not always walk through life like he's skipping through a field of flowers. But don't get me wrong he is still a boss. I also already have plans for Tony and Peppers son in a possible sequel. **

**So any more baby names, general ideas or comments, christmas presents for different heroes, and thoughts on everyones reactions are greatly appreciated so I can continue on with a more accurate story. And as usual if any reviews need a sort of answer it will be at the top of the next chapter!**

**This update is early, but thats because I won't be home or anywhere near a computer for three days and I thought making you wait five days is just unfair... so here's your treat! See you on Tuesday!**


	7. Chapter 7

**I loved nothing more than coming home to all the reviews! And now I get to post another chapter :) I appreciated the suggestions for baby names and I still haven't decided on gender because when I get to writing that chapter I'm seriously going to flip a coin. My friend pointed out that you don't get to choose in real life so... the coin chooses! And thank you for christmas present ideas. I already had some decided, but I have been inspired and if I use any I will give credit to whom it should be given!**

**So this is kind of an intro to major plot developements/filler chapter. But theres some foreshadowing so keep your eyes peeled!**

**Disclaimer: I am not Stan Lee. So I don't own the worlds most epic super hero team. **

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Natasha examined herself in the mirror. She was four months pregnant and showing. It was at the three month mark that Fury just so happened to order a 'random' medical checkup for her. Last she checked SHIELD did everything by routine, not random. Of course the doctors told her she was pregnant and when asked by Fury if she had already known Natasha replied by saying she didn't think it was important to say as long as it didn't affect her work. He ordered her onto covert command, which meant sitting at a desk debriefing agents and doing a lot of paper work.

The first month of the desk job provided the most headaches and arguments for her and Clint. Some days after a night of Natasha reminding him he was the reason she was stuck at a desk he would come to work so frustrated that his shots went an inch off their intended mark. This would only increase his frustration. Natasha had not only become frustrated with the fact that she was taken out of the field but now her favorite pairs of jeans would no longer zip comfortably over her stomach. She refused to shop for maternity clothes that would be too big for her front and instead resolved to wearing dresses every day, heals were also starting to hurt on her feet for the first time in her life.

Because Fury was too busy to really care about his agents social lives he sent Agent Hill to figure out what was going on between The Hawk and The Widow, discretely of course. Clint said he was just checking up on his partner and Natasha said the identity of the father was no one's business. That's why when Clint got assigned to do an around the world check up on their most valuable interests they had to act like it would be normal time spent away from each other. Both were now so used to the constant presence of one another that they didn't know what this separation really meant.

That's why as Natasha looked in the mirror she didn't reflect on the last month of annoyance and arguments, she thought about all that Clint might miss while he was gone. He was scheduled for two to three weeks in the field, but that was if they talked to someone every day. Natasha knew some people would be easy enough to find, but that most would take several days and Clint was more likely to be back early January, not late November.

He came up behind her as she pulled her shirt back down to barely cover her stomach. She had to admit he looked much better in SHIELD attire than she did (or at least she thought), the black jacket was zipped up to the bottom of his neck and the pants, although not meant to, fit to his legs in all the right places. Natasha let out a small sigh as he circled his arms around her, "Agent Hill will be picking me up on the corner in 5 minutes."

She didn't want him to go. It was something she'd never admit to anyone, but since Loki had compromised him, and then her, she hadn't been planning on ever letting him out of her sight. "Or we could just go rogue."

Clint laughed, "They'd find us."

"But we know where they'd look. We could just stay in our safe house in Rome forever."

Clint didn't lie to himself. At that moment the duffle bag full of weapons, suits, and uniforms sitting by the door was the last thing he wanted to pick up. He wanted to pack two different bags and run away to Rome and just forget everything, but then the small bit of movement under the hand resting on Natasha's stomach reminded him why they couldn't, not right now.

She felt the bit of movement too. For a little more than a week there had been small flutters and shifts like this one, but no kicks yet. Natasha was glad for that, and maybe if Clint wasn't around for the start of it before she adjusted that would be one less thing for her to get unexplainably mad at him about. At the same time him reminding her that movement was normal when she woke up afraid in the middle of the night from something shifting inside her was going to be missed, and caused her a little more worry.

"Natasha…" he just let his forehead rest on the back of her head in her hair. He usually used Nat to address her. It was faster, simpler, and friendlier. Natasha was usually used for more formal situations or when he was being serious with her.

She could tell the way he said her name now was with longing, "You know my private number. Just so that SHIELD doesn't get suspicious I'll be waiting for untraceable calls from all over the world."

He knew his opportunities for that would be limited, but she knew he would try his hardest. "As long as I don't hear from you I'll know the baby's healthy, and that you haven't killed anyone," he spoke softly pulling her closer.

She could have stood like this with him forever, but looking at the clock he had two minutes before Agent Hill would be waiting for him, "You have to go."

He was the one to sigh then releasing his hold on her. They weren't the kind of people for sentimental goodbyes so as he opened the door to leave he memorized what Natasha looked like with her curly, red hair down, a smile only he could notice on her lips, leaning against the door frame to their bedroom. It was the image that was going to have to get him through the following weeks without her. It was strange to him, going away missing someone, but it didn't surprise him in the least.

She waved a little and he let the door shut behind him before sinking to the floor realizing how miserable the next few weeks were going to be… and they were.

After two more weeks of stretching the limits of her dresses Natasha broke down and let Pepper take her shopping for maternity clothes. It was not as bad as she thought. They found a lot of blouses that weren't too different from others Natasha already owned and, even though she hated them, a few pairs of black pants with an extended waist for Natasha to wear to work and when she went out to run errands. For all the other times Natasha had made sure Clint left a few pairs of sweat pants behind.

A couple more jackets and dresses later Pepper managed to pull Natasha into a baby store, buying plenty of little blue shirts for her boy, due in less than three months. She wandered around looking, not touching. Pepper tried to convince her to buy just one thing but she reminded Pepper that it would probably never get used.

All the other times Natasha wasn't working she decided to start reading a few novels she remembered Clint talking about. After getting through the Fitzgerald and Hemingway she discovered Jane Austen and although she still wasn't one for romance Natasha had to admit that maybe books weren't so bad.

Clint had to miss her official 4 month visit where the doctor asked if she wanted to know the gender. Natasha quickly replied with a no, but then was reminded that it would need to be known if they wanted a prearranged adoption so the fact remained unknown to her, but went into the file.

Meanwhile Clint was chasing down rogue agents and checking up on special interest informants. It meant sleeping in crappy hotel rooms and not always getting to take a shower, let alone a hot one. As good as it felt to be in the field for the first time in two and a half months he felt something drawing him away. It also didn't help that Agent Hill, who had taken Coulson's place as Fury's eyes and ears in the field, never let him off the premises. The first time she let Clint out was when he volunteered to go for a takeout run.

They were in the northern part of Beijing and the six agents sent on the mission agreed there could be no better place to get Chinese food. Clint was usually on perimeter surveillance during dinner and so Agent Carson was the one sent out to pick up the food. Whoever went to get the food always had the chance to make a quick phone call even though it was against the rules, but everyone needed to make these calls at one point or another so no one ever said anything. Really Clint wasn't upset that Agent Carson had been getting to make the phone calls for the past two weeks because he had a three year old daughter at home and this was the first time he'd been sent away on a mission with no personal communications allowed. Clint wondered if that would be him in a few months time…

But as he rounded the corner he found a pay phone private enough that no one would overhear him and quickly attached his anti-tracking device just in case Agent Hill wasn't done spying on him and Natasha and had even found her private number. He heard the phone ring three times before someone picked up.

There was laughter in the background as Natasha's voice filled his ears, "Hello?"

"It's me," he said wondering what the background noise was.

"I'm guessing you've been busy," she said commenting on the fact that he still wasn't home. He could also tell she'd moved to a quieter place.

"Not busy enough," he said shutting his eyes. In the last two weeks they'd only gotten to four of their thirteen intended interests. Hopefully tomorrow would be the fifth. "At this rate I'll be lucky to be home by New Years."

She was quiet for a minute before remembering some of the things she should probably be updating him on, "The doctor said the baby's healthy. I didn't ask for the gender, but it got recorded." The next part she knew would make Clint happy, but for some reason she was trying to ignore it, "The baby kicked last week…"

He smiled even though her voice was uneasy. It didn't scare her; it just made her remember that it was all real. It had made her smile the first time the baby moved, but then remembering that she was trying not to form an emotional bond wiped the look off her face. He didn't want to get too excited about it, and even though to most his sentence may have sounded cold to anyone else, she could hear the smile, "That's good."

Clint then heard a slightly drunk Tony in the background yelling, "Did your lover finally call? Or is it just Barton?" There was an angry, muffled female voice that sounded like it was dragging him away so that Natasha could finish her phone call in peace. Clint made a mental reminder to thank Pepper and wish her luck on raising two kids.

"What are you doing at Stark Tower?" Clint asked realizing that's what the noise must have been.

Natasha sighed, "I let Pepper take me shopping for maternity clothes. She was worried that I hadn't had enough friendly conversation lately so I let her bring me back here for dinner." Clint then remembered the date and he was glad Natasha was somewhere for Thanksgiving.

The two then spent the next five minutes talking about books Natasha had been reading, stupid things Tony had been doing, a new arrow tip Clint had been trying and it all implied in some way that they missed each other. Finally Clint came back to reality knowing that he didn't have much time to get the food and make it back to the hotel before Agent Hill became suspicious. "I'll try to call again soon and hopefully I'll be home for Christmas."

"Look after everyone," Natasha said remembering how inexperienced some of the agents on the mission were… didn't one of them have a three year old daughter?

She dropped the thought as Clint's voice held a hint of sadness, "Bye, Nat."

"Bye, Clint," she said hearing the phone disconnect a few seconds later. A small kick from her abdomen then made her remember how much she wished her partner were with her.

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**THEY MISS EACH OTHER. Oh how sweet. But I mean I feel like they would, yah? and Pepper is NOT having twins. My badly told joke is that while raising their child she will also be raising Tony (as she has been for who knows how long). **

**Also the place I got the idea of Clint wanting to raise the baby for the majority of the time and Natasha favoring adoption for the majority of the time (because you don't know who chooses what in the end), aside from that being what I think they really would do, is because hawks nest raise their babies until they can fly away and spiders protect their hundreds of babies until they hatch (or whatever I'm not a scientist) and immediately go off on their own with their cool web parachutes. **

**So any guesses for what the foreshadowing was (I'm still flipping the coin so if it does turn out to be a girl that was not intentional), general comments about plot/incharacterness, and questions that don't give anything/too much away please review and I will leave my comments about them on top of the next chapter!**

**I'll be leaving for another three day trip in 36 hours so I'll post before I go Thursday morning then when I get back. **


	8. Chapter 8

**I got so many lengthy reviews! I love it. I just want to say thank you for all the name suggestions. I'm playing with some. I now know whether they will keep the baby or not, but you guys still have some time. I am also kind of hoping they have a boy because they do so often have a girl, but I'm flipping the coin and fate shall decide. **

**So this chapter gets more plotty and developey. Its also longer than most so I'm not saying there won't be longer chapters in the future just... don't get too used to it...**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Avengers...**

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At the five month mark Natasha thought she was going to lose it. She had never gone this long with training, being in the field, or having sex. It was more frustrating than Tony on a bad day. Clint had been able to sneak in one more call to her. Apparently Agent Carson had been sent home after he took a bullet. It was in the arm and it didn't hit any major nerves or bone, but it was enough to send him home. Clint said he'd insisted he was fine and made it through the unnecessary shoot out, but when she debriefed him Natasha could tell he was a little shaken. The first bullet she had taken shook her too.

Otherwise they'd been moving just as slow as before and Clint had told her there would be no way he'd be making it home by Christmas which meant she'd have to do Christmas with the Starks alone. It's not as if she minded. Pepper had been able to give her tips for pregnancy since she was two months ahead and Tony said he was writing up a guide for Clint. She had actually begun to spend more time at the Stark tower out of her own will and a few times Steve had joined them for dinner. Her life was starting to fill up with people. It was different than anything she'd ever had before but she kind of liked it.

Snow began to fall and Natasha found a sort of quiet comfort in the city this time of year. As long as she wasn't in heels she would just take walks through the streets. It dawned on her a week before Christmas that she was five and half months along, more than halfway there. She went to sit in a small café and ordered a decaf coffee, even though she was tired.

Pregnancy didn't suit her. It impaired her physically and made her feel vulnerable in ways she never had. When Clint was there she felt safe. Her aim hadn't been impaired, but if it came down to hand to hand combat if she couldn't fight someone off, Clint could. She also couldn't drink or have caffeine. It wasn't necessary, but it was certainly how she liked to pass her time before. There were also nights where the baby's movement kept her awake and left her falling asleep at her desk the next day. The thing she noticed as the biggest difference was that people got soft around her. There wasn't the usual air of fear and intimidation surrounding her.

Before when she walked around SHIELD the men would stare and the woman would have respect for her in their eyes. She was a threat and a good looking one. She distracted everyone at one point or another and every man at some point in their career had been jealous of Clint because she was his and he was hers. Her sex appeal was one of her greatest weapons and she was proud of it, but now she had lost it. She hadn't gained as much weight as some; in fact her doctor reminded her that she was supposed to be eating more, but her face had gotten a little rounder, the protrusion from her middle had taken away her flawless figure.

She knew she would gain it back, in fact SHIELD had ways of making sure their field agents never had a stretch mark or c-section scar because if the enemy ever saw them it could put an agent's family at risk, which meant they would have more rogue, depressed and paranoid agents than they cared for. The exercise may take a few months, but she was taking every piece of prevention she could so that her body would go back to the way it was. For now though she felt tired and plain.

The baby kicked then bringing her out of her thoughts. She realized it was long past dark and the small bit of coffee left in her cup was cold so she wrapped her scarf tighter around her neck, threw out the cup, and started to make the five block trek home in the cold. As soon as she left the café something felt off. It wasn't her but instead her long dormant senses as a spy were kicking in. She must have been being followed. But she soon determined there was no one there. She discretely scanned rooftops, but there was no one there either. The last time this had happened was when she had been trailed by Clint and she knew she didn't have that amount of fight in her right now.

As she reached the door of her apartment building she considered calling Pepper, but she knew that Iron Man wasn't the right person to protect her and even then he might not make it fast enough. She started to take the old elevator upstairs and placed a hand on her stomach. She was afraid of what might happen if she couldn't protect them.

It was clear no one was following her in the elevator and when she stepped out onto her floor all six doors stood shut. She made her way to the door at the end of the hallway to the left and that's when she saw it. It was a small note on the outside of her door- 'Noon. The café five blocks south.'

She examined the note. It was simple which meant whoever had been following her didn't mean to seem threatening, but it didn't mean they weren't. She considered calling for some SHIELD back up then deemed it unnecessary. If these people turned out to be dangerous she'd bring her back up button that would signal a SHIELD agent to her location.

The next morning she made sure her hair was falling in perfect waves around her made up face. Her legs hadn't lost their shape at all so she wore a dress she'd bought with Pepper paired with long black stockings. She even wore heels. As she was bundling up for the cold she wore enough scarves and a thick enough coat so that her stomach was not visible. Letting a threat know that she was pregnant wasn't something she planned on doing.

As she walked down the street she started gaining her confidence back when she caught the eye of most men walking by. Pregnancy may not suit her, but sometimes it wasn't so bad… When she reached the café she spotted him immediately. Natasha lived in a nicer neighborhood and most people dressed in style with department stores. Nobody tried to be too individualistic, but she was one of few that dressed in designer labels. And that's why the man in the Armani suit was the giveaway.

She sat down at the table realizing it was the same she had sat at the day before. He smiled up at her from his coffee and motioned to one she had sitting in front of her, but she had no way of knowing if it was spiked or not so she ignored the gesture.

"I thought you were a fan of coffee, Black Widow," he said still smiling at her.

She remained indifferent, "Why have you asked me here?"

He ignored her question and really she didn't care, "Your skill set is incredible. No one can match your hand to hand combat, undercover has never been blown, unless it was on purpose, and it seems as if your interrogation skills are unparalleled. I was very impressed when your file was dropped on my desk, but even more so by your partner."

Although it was undetectable Natasha was now interested. Why would he meet with her to talk about Clint?

"Hawkeye: Fantastic hand to hand combat, his skills with a computer aren't bad. Of course he has a strange choice in weapons, but a specialized bow and arrow set suits him. An expert marksman with an understanding of strategy, fight and flight patterns, and the ability to pilot almost all know aircraft. It's obvious why you're partners though. Whatever one of you lacks the other makes up for; this is why I've been watching the two of you for almost two years."

Natasha didn't like to know that someone had been watching her and Clint for almost two years without her knowing, but this sounded like he meant to hire them, "Then you'd also know that we work inside the law, exclusively with SHIELD."

He smiled at her again. He seemed to find it entertaining that she was suggesting he didn't know that. Although her face stayed indifferent she was starting to feel uneasy. "Yes I know. You may have taken off some time a year ago to do some solo work, but SHIELD was always watching weren't they? They won't allow one of their greatest assets to work for someone that wasn't in their interest. Which is why I'm not here about work."

Natasha was at full attention. She knew what this must have meant when he first mentioned Clint, but even now she didn't want to admit it.

"Four months ago my men I had monitoring you added something to your file they thought I may be interested in. After two weeks in Rome with your partner you had a pregnancy test come back positive." Natasha was reeling. She didn't like that he had figured this out even before Fury. "I was expecting someone in your line of work to get an abortion, but then you never did. I will have to guess then that you have more heart than you let on. Although the father isn't on record I can do the math, and that is why I'm here, Natasha."

He knew her name. She was compromised. No she was beyond compromised and she had no way to fix it. She was now glad that she had long since pressed her button to alert SHIELD.

"As I said before you and your partner have very impressive skill sets, and very difficult jobs. I don't imagine you're planning on raising the baby yourselves," he took a slow sip from his coffee before he said what she knew he would. "That is why I am offering to take the baby off your hands when it is born, an adoption of sorts." If they weren't in public she'd have slit his throat.

"My child is not for sale," Natasha said with venom in her voice. He seemed to find it funny. Not even Clint felt safe when she spoke like this. The one time she had spoken like this to Fury he had lost his voice for a few minutes. That was when she knew. This man may have read her file, but he had no idea who the Black Widow was.

"It wouldn't be a sale though. I can offer to raise him… or her… in a loving-" he stopped when he felt Natasha's knife enter his thigh.

"My child. Is not. For sale," she said again looking him dead in the eye. She spoke with venom, but when she was this angry a little of her Russian accent would bleed through, and then he did realize who he was really sitting across from. "As soon as I take my knife out of your leg you are going to walk out of this café as quickly as possible so that no one has time to see the blood. You will walk down the alley to the right where SHIELD agents will be waiting to escort you to a disclosed location for interrogation. When you are there you _will_ tell them everything you know and how you were able to track me and my partner so well. If you don't I will kill you right here, right now. Don't underestimate me now. Don't underestimate me ever again."

Before a man so confident now sat with fear swirling through his eyes. She pulled the knife out of his leg and he ran for the door like a dog with his tail between his legs. There were plain clothed SHIELD agents everywhere by then, but he still went straight for the alley. After she'd re-stored her knife she left the café casually as a black sedan left the alley, her stalker in the back. Agent Keeph then casually approached her, "We need you to come in for debriefing."

It was routine to debrief when an agent used their panic button, and because it was her while she was assigned to desk work she knew that unless he was meeting with the council the man she'd be seeing soon was Fury. Which was why she needed to make her request now, "I need to make a call to Agent Barton. He's been compromised and he needs to know to be watching his back."

Agent Keeph nodded and walked about twenty feet away so that she could have some kind of privacy; he had the same suspicions about the father as everyone else.

She placed the call to Agent Hill's contact number for the field, something Clint had slipped her for extreme emergencies before he left. It rang twice before a very tired and bored Agent Hill answered the phone, "Agent Hill."

"Agent Hill, this is Agent Romanoff. I need to speak with Agent Barton immediately," she said into the phone. She almost heard the other agent perk up. They really must have been bored.

"What is so important that you interrupted our anti-communications radius and jeopardized our position," she said now sounding more annoyed than interested.

"Agent Barton's been compromised. He is in no immediate danger and SHIELD will decide later today whether or not to pull him out of the field, but I need to debrief him," Natasha felt her rage wearing off and the fear of someone knowing so much about her starting to set in.

She heard Agent Hill call for Clint and when she heard his voice for the third time in a month and a half she felt safer, "Agent Romanoff?"

She wanted him to call her Nat as she would allow no one else to. She wanted him right here next to her, but he was in the Czech Republic and it wasn't going to happen. She almost called him Clint, but caught herself remembering all calls on SHIELD phones are recorded and saved, "Agent Barton you've been comprised."

She heard him moving away from the people he was with to at least be able to let his emotions show. Natasha wouldn't break protocol if it wasn't serious, "What's going on."

She told him everything, starting with the feeling she got leaving the café to him getting driven away in a car. She was careful with her words to make it seem like the man's accusation of Clint being the father was preposterous saying, "He didn't seem to know what I was really doing in Rome." She could tell for a moment Clint may have found that funny, but that was quickly lost when she told him what the man had wanted.

She heard a few cheap things from the hotel hit the wall. Clint had very few possessions in the world and she knew how much he cared about her and the baby. He'd tried not to be obvious, be supportive of Natasha, but right now he was hours away doing what he thought to be pointless work and they could have been in real danger. He was in real danger. Someone had stayed out of his sights for two years. Hawkeye didn't take that lightly. He also stopped caring if anyone listened to their conversation later, "Shit Natasha what are we going to do."

She stayed calm and collected. She was strong again and she knew that when she was confident it would level Clint out. When he came out from Loki's control she didn't show how scared she was that he wouldn't be himself. He knew something was wrong of course, but she helped him feel better and she had to do this now, "I'm going into SHIELD to find out more about him and you're going to keep an eye out for suspicious activity and await further instructions."

He was quiet for a least a full minute before he spoke again, "Thank you for giving me a heads up Agent Romanoff."

"Of course Agent Barton," and the line went dead.

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**Dun dun dun... Someone is after Blackhawk's baby! You got to see Natasha's mama bear though because I feel like thats how she would act. Like she doesn't know if she wants to be a mom or not yet, but she isn't letting anyone she doesn't know go near her baby. Plus she's Black Widow. And Clint has obvious family loss issues with his parents and brother and such so he's just mad cause he can't do anything about it. Its not just frustration about the guy, its everything with the baby. **

**So any questions, comments, ideas in general, baby names, or christmas present ideas, keep them coming! **

**I am leaving for another three days and should be updating this time Sunday with Chapter 9! **


	9. Chapter 9

**Thank you for the reviews! I got inspired by some of them for future chapters. I also did the math and this story will have atleast 21 chapters, although I may add more fillers or add onto the end if you want me to. I'm also glad you all liked Natasha's mama bear reaction. It was fun to write. **

**Also I will soon be adopting a puggle and named it Pepper. I think you see what I did there...**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Avengers... **

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When Natasha was escorted into the SHIELD building by four agents, none nearly as skilled as her, the place felt much the same, until they entered central command. People were everywhere searching for all the information they could get, but it meant the man was talking. She saw Fury looking down from his office above and she started the climb up the stairs.

As soon as she entered the room he didn't bother to look at her, "Close the door."

Natasha waited for a younger agent to scramble out of the room before closing the door and waiting for Fury to turn to her. "Agent Romanoff, First of all you should have alerted SHIELD the second you got his note, second off what made you think it was a good idea for a five and a half month pregnant woman to try to take on a man with any level of combat training, and what is said in this room is off the record because I need to know what the hell is going on and I know you won't tell the truth unless it has no consequences."

She moved to sit casually in a chair across from where Fury stood, "Sounds fair."

As per his usual Fury started with the questions first, "Is Barton the father."

"Yes," she said casually. Honestly she sounded bored, but it's how she sounded when she was calm and Fury was always good to his word. Unless she threatened to destroy the world what she had to say held no consequences.

"I'm never letting you two take another vacation together again," he said sitting in his chair obviously regretting Barton's original punishment to make her his partner. She almost laughed a little bit. She also would have said that he'd also have to stop their missions together if he really didn't want them having sex, but she knew he'd probably figured that out too.

Fury then took this moment to get serious, "He let us know everything we needed right away as long as we didn't let you in the room. He's actually someone we've been trying to track down for a long time. The name's Gerard Bouteau, a freelancing private investigator, and he has been paid a handsome price to track you. Barton caught his interest because of your work as partners. He doesn't know who he was tracking you for and that's what we're working on right now, but they were also the ones that wanted to arrange the adoption of the baby. That we also can't figure out but we figure that if that child inherits even an ounce of yours or Barton's skill it would be a valuable asset to whoever was paying him."

It all made sense to her now. There was no way that man really wanted anything from her, he was an amateur, an amateur that had scared her. She was suddenly mad at herself, "Sir, what have we heard about the Red Room."

Fury looked up from his desk then, "They went underground after you left; we assumed they were training a new batch of spies. You know that it will always be your mission when we locate them again, but do you think the Red Room is trying to get its hands on its next black widow?"

Natasha shifted in her seat. She had come to hate nothing more than the Red Room. They took her adoptive parent from her, they killed her husband to manipulate her, and they had taken away her childhood, her humanity. She wanted to show them what they really created; a monster. Now they threatened to take something else from her, it was then that she realized what she had now, a family. "Sir, I think Agent Barton is going to be more valuable here." She wanted him back beside her where he belonged. She also wanted him here so that if they did locate the Red Room and had to act without her being able to go she knew he would give them the pain they deserved.

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She woke up with warm sunlight on her face. As her mind began to work she remembered it was her and Clint's third day in Rome. They'd been good partners for the last year and when Coulson gave them plane tickets to use for a vacation she found herself not wanting to leave him, but she explained it to herself as a want for an uninterrupted week of sex, after all their physical chemistry was amazing.

Now she sat up slightly in bed. Enough to see in the early morning that Clint was sitting half dressed on the ledge of the stone balcony. Their hotel room overlooked an alley way with a small market. They'd left their room the night before just to see what they could find to eat in the market and they'd ended up laughing and smiling instead. Natasha couldn't remember the last time she'd actually felt happy. Now as she watched her partner look down at the people three stories below she realized the joy that had been on his face the night before was gone.

Putting on her silk camisole and underwear, not wanting the public eye to see her completely naked (at least not now), she walked out to sit next to him on the balcony. They didn't talk much outside of the field, and even last night most of their communication was physical, but she knew he was thinking about something important and she wanted to know, "What's on your mind?"

He looked up at her then. The way the sunlight hit her hair made it look like it was on fire, and her face was calm. Not indifferent or cold, just calm. Since they'd become partners she never ceased to amaze him, and right now he was trying again to not let inappropriate feelings form. He'd been doing that since the night they officially met in Paris. "Same thing that always is."

She frowned a little out of frustration. So he was going to be vague, "I thought you said partners are supposed to be able to communicate flawlessly, but I guess I'm not the only one with secrets."

He smiled a little bit at that. She was the best interrogator SHIELD had, "You've read my file."

"And you've read mine, but a file only says so much," she said looking at him with curiosity. He could tell she was trying to show genuine interest. He knew she was.

"Maybe I'd be more interested in finding out what your file doesn't say before I spill my life story to you," he said glancing up. He was serious, but his eyes showed understanding, no pressure.

She knew it was only fair and so she sighed and sucked in all her emotion. Looking into the distance away from his gaze she began to muster the courage. Her story was the only thing that still damaged her, but she trusted this man and she knew that what they shared would stay a secret, "When I was six years old I remember being passed out the window of a hospital to a family friend. My parents and brothers burned that night. I stayed with him for two years and he was good at being a surrogate father. He loved me and I loved him, sometimes I even forgot my real family was dead. But he was a soldier and got called into the line of duty. That's when I was kidnapped by the Red Room.

"They took me from the people that were supposed to be watching me and brought me into the program with eleven other girls my age. For eight years we trained, they came to be like my sisters. They taught us how to withstand torture by cutting us until we stopped crying. There were a few trips into the field to learn basic human manipulation. Combat training involved real guns and knives and if you got shot they'd pull the bullet out and throw you back into the arena. They would interrogate us and brainwash us to the point that we barely knew our names and then they rebuilt us. They needed strong emotionless killers, monsters. So that's what they made us.

"Once we'd all turned sixteen one day they led us into a room. It couldn't have been much bigger than our hotel room and they told us that they'd finally be selecting their black widow; the one to represent the Red Room program by working for our Russian government. We didn't understand at first but then they finished by saying that only one of us would be chosen once the others had fallen. It was madness. We had no weapons so we were forced to fight with our bare hands and it felt like everyone already knew it was me. There were girls who were better at shooting, throwing, and interrogation, but no one could beat me at hand to hand combat. I just fought them off at first, but then they began to gang up on me. I felt some part of me take over that I'd tried to suppress and I snapped the last five girls' necks. They opened the door to the room and I left as the Black Widow.

"I started going on missions to kill and I gave up on trying to be anything but what I truly was. I lost all my love and feeling until one night when I was eighteen I was set to go in with a partner. His name was Alexei and we fell in love. He was another Russian spy and he understood the pressure not to crack. I could be raw when I was with him, so when we got married I was actually happy. My superiors found out after two years of us hiding our marriage and they killed him. They said they needed me to be focused. That love is for children, that emotion makes you weak. So I left them to prove that I didn't need anyone or anything. I voided myself.

"Then you found me…." She finished, looking over at him. He had seen her be many things before, but never sad. That's why he looked back at her with a comforting expression.

"You really loved him… you loved all of them," he said watching her look away into the distance again as if she could see them there.

"I was a child…"

* * *

As Fury rambled on about why his world did not revolve around her, therefore Agent Barton being brought home was not a priority until he was actually threatened, Natasha came out of her memory and her head was in a daze. Was the right way to show them they didn't own her really to be void of emotions? She pushed that thought out quickly though because as long as she loved she would leave those people at risk, she would be a weak child.

"Romanoff?" Fury said causing her to look up at him now standing tall behind his desk.

"Sir, is it clear for me to go home now?" she didn't care about what he had said; if it was important her ears would have caught it.

"We'll have two to three SHIELD agents on surveillance until I deem this is no longer a security threat to you or your child. They will remain outside of your apartment and you will maintain your privacy, but so help me Agent Romanoff if you make anymore stupid decisions I will have your ass under 24 hour surveillance at a base in the middle of the desert," he said focusing especially hard on the last part. Natasha preferred five feet of snow over miles of sand.

"Understood," she said standing up to leave and he didn't stop her.

When Natasha got back into her apartment she could sense where the agents were positioned but Fury hadn't lied; she still had privacy. It had been a long day so after a long hot shower she crawled into bed trying not to think about everything that had happened.

Someone wanted her baby, but not for any reason she found acceptable. If they had the baby adopted then someone would want her baby because they couldn't have a baby of their own, they just wanted someone to love and care for. She saw no fault in that. But the people that had sent the man wanted her baby to turn it into a weapon and hurt it like others had hurt her. Even though Natasha kept trying to stay separate with her emotions she would never let her child go through what she had.

* * *

**So Natasha's still thinking adoption. And I'm sorry theres not more Clint in here but the whole chapter is basically all him. I also wrote my backstory for Natasha and I fully acknowledge that this is not the backstory provided by the comics. While I wanted to keep some similarities it is not accurate, but it could work for the movie?**

**Anyways any ideas, suggestions, general comments, and baby names are always appreciated and I'll respond to you all at the top of the next chapter!**

**I am leaving for a camp thats Monday through Wednesday three hours away. I will TRY to update Wednesday morning but I might not be getting home until late Wednesday night/Thursday at 1 am. But I WILL update the second I get back. **


	10. Chapter 10

**So I got home maybe ten minutes ago and reading all your reviews I knew I had to post right away. I already had the chapter written so sadly I can't give you quite what you want. Clint isn't home yet, but thats because I'm throwing in A TWIST. A filler(?) twist, but still emotional character developement. And Clint might not be home for a few more chapters for filler/plot purposes... but nothing extreme will happen in his absence. I PROMISE.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Avengers... theres not much else to say. **

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Clint sat in a crappy hotel room in London. It was three days before Christmas and they had two assets left. They'd started to pick up the pace but Hill had said the last man on their list was going to take at least a week. All he wanted to do was go home. Normally Clint didn't care. Work, sleep, train: that was his life. But now he knew Natasha was sitting at home alone with someone possibly coming after her and the baby. Before even if someone was coming after Natasha and he couldn't be there he knew she could take care of herself, but now she was vulnerable and that's why all he wanted to do was get home.

Hill entered the room ready to brief the agents, but she approached Clint first separately, "It's alright if you want to sit this one out."

He gave her a strange look, but then she handed him the file and as he read the name of the man they'd be contacting next he understood- Charles Bernard Barton. Clint's world was spinning as Agent Hill walked away to give him a minute to read the file before she addressed everyone else.

He opened the file to see that his brother Barney had been living in London for about two years. He had a wife named Elizabeth Cady Barton. Clint could remember her; she was an acrobat he'd helped to gain a spot in the show a few months before his fall. From what he could recall she was sweet and caring, he was glad she got away from the horrors of that circus, but then he wondered what made her and his brother leave. Last he checked his brother didn't care about crooked dealings as long as he got his check.

Then he read the next line of text and it all made sense- Son, Howard Clinton Barton, Age 5. His brother had named his son after their father and him. If he wasn't in so much shock he would have felt touched. It all made sense though. About a year after he had fallen his brother must have gotten Elizabeth pregnant. The circus would have explained they didn't have room for pregnant acrobats in their show and despite all of his previous bad choices Barney had made he must have stepped up and left with her.

Reading farther down the file though he saw his brother hadn't changed all that much. It looked like they were going after him to offer him a spot as an informant for drug shipments in and out of London to other parts of the world, including the US. If it had been an ordered hit Clint would have broken all the rules to stop them.

Before he could read the more intimate details Agent Hill began to address everyone, "This is a simple in and out. Charles Barton-" Everyone turned to look at Clint for a brief moment wondering if the two were related "-needs to be brought into SHIELD's field of knowledge and if he doesn't agree to help it'll mean detainment. He's running a small piece of a large drug shipping ring, but he can help lead us to the superiors to shut it down. This is minimal threat. I'll be monitoring while one of you goes to speak with him. The others will hold the perimeter. Any volunteers?"

Before anyone else's hand had the chance Clint's shot straight up in the air. He wasn't risking his brother's detainment and the only person Barney had ever considered listening to was him.

"Alright, Agent Barton gets lead. We roll out in twenty minutes," she said turning to help pack up their portable communications system. For a second Clint wondered why she hadn't said them being related was a conflict of interest, but he knew that if he wasn't capable she would have chosen someone else.

Clint went to his corner and strapped on his bullet proof vest. Wearing nothing else over that but a thin black t-shirt he zipped up his standard issue black SHIELD jacket and loaded it with weapons. Although he hoped not to need the knives and guns the last time he'd seen his brother he was being left for dead. And as always he strapped the quiver of arrows to his back and prepared his bow.

30 minutes later he was on a roof with Agent Hill looking down into his brother's small apartment as everything flew by. Barney was picking up a small boy with blond hair like his mothers and carrying him off to what Clint guessed was the boy's bedroom. Some where in his brain he realized that was his nephew. Elizabeth sat on the couch looking tired as the news played on the opposite wall. When Barney came back in the room she stood and said she was going to bed. He gave her a quick kiss on the cheek before sitting down on the couch and continuing to watch the news.

This was when Clint made his move. He rappelled down to the street and snuck into the apartment complex. It wasn't nice enough to have a doorman. Climbing the four flights of stairs Clint felt nervous on a mission for the first time in his life. Finally he was outside his brother's door and he silently picked the lock. He then quietly slipped in. His brother's back was to him and before he could come up with a way to make his presence know his brother stood up and turned, probably to go to bed, but that was no longer going to happen.

The look of shock on his face wasn't the shock he'd have worn for just an intruder and Clint knew he recognized him. His brother was 32 now, four years older than him, and the seven years they'd been apart showed clearly on his face. Wrinkles had begun to form, his strength gained from laboring in the circus had depleted, and bags showed under his eyes. Agent Hill was telling him something in his ear when Barney broke the silence, "Clint?"

For the first time in his life Clint was also speechless. When Barney spotted the bow in his hand a kind of happiness flooded his face, "Baby brother with his bow and arrows." Then his face showed regret and pain, "I thought you were dead…"

"I thought I was too," Clint said staring at his brother. He hadn't been called baby brother for seven years either. It wasn't as annoying now.

"What are you doing here?" Barney asked keeping their distance.

Clint cleared his mind. He couldn't keep staring in shock so he spoke, "After I took my fall some guys found me where you left me and took me to a local hospital. After I healed up I used my skill to do some favors and I caught the attention of SHIELD. They protect America's interests and other countries when a favor is owed. You got on their radar with the drugs and I wanted to be the one to offer you a deal."

Barney soaked up the information for a few minutes; now he was the one in shock, "Shit."

"Look Barney you can give us some information, help us track the drugs or be detained. I know about Howard… I know you left the circus for him. Don't be stubborn just to lose him now," Clint said remembering the little boy with blond hair again; his nephew.

Barney's eyes met Clint and he looked worried, "No Clint you don't understand, I have to do this. Howie… he's sick. I only got into this to help pay the bills."

Clint felt his stomach drop. He understood. The reason he and his brother had run away was because they needed a place to belong after six years of feeling alone after their parents died. And now his brother was only doing this because he needed something, "You can't pay the bills from prison Barney."

His brother ignored his comment, "Do you have a family Clint?" He was quiet because he wanted to tell him so badly, about Natasha and the baby. He wanted to talk like they had in the boxcars before Barney fell asleep and he starting reading, but he couldn't because SHIELD was listening.

"My line of work favors loners," he said watching his brother's expression search for more understanding.

"When Lizzy told me she was pregnant I was scared shitless. I didn't want to leave the only home that's keep me, but I did because that boy was my responsibility. When he was born… I'd never been happier, more proud. Then when he was two he got sick. I got three jobs because Lizzy had to stay home and take care of him. We moved to London for better treatment, and its finally working, but it's expensive. I'm not proud of what I'm doing Clint. But if you had a family you'd understand… you'd do anything for them," Barney said desperately pleading with him. He needed the money. He wasn't being greedy this time. And even though Natasha and the baby weren't techniqually his family yet he knew it was true; he'd do anything for them.

"SHIELD can help pay the bills if you cooperate," Clint said as Agent Hill started to yell in his ear, but he would help even if it had to come out of his paycheck. He barely ever spent them anyway.

His brother then moved to do something he'd rarely ever done. He hugged Clint, "Then of course I'll cooperate. Thank you so much Clint."

"Well I want to make sure my nephew's okay," he said returning the hug and it was true. He didn't know the boy, but his brother loved him and so he figured he must have been at least okay.

He heard agent Hill clearly then, "Tell him we'll be in touch and get out of there Barton."

"I've got to go," Clint said breaking away. "SHIELD will be in touch, but as long as you cooperate your bills should get paid."

"Wait! I have something for you!" his brother said turning to leave quickly and despite Agent Hill _still_ rambling in his ear he kept his feet planted where they had been for the last five minutes. About a minute later his brother reentered the room holding something Clint thought was long lost. "I felt so horrible about what happened, but I couldn't go back to help without something happening to me to... so I saved this just incase..." As Barney handed Clint his purple bow from his circus days he realized this was his brothers apology and way of showing that he really had always hoped his brother wasn't dead.

He turned it over in his hands a few times. It was made for trick shots and was no where near as lethal as the one he used now, but it was his first real bow. His brother continued to talk to fill the empty space in the air, "Howie likes to play with it and have me tell stories about you and the circus. I mean I always watch him to make sure he's careful, but Lizzy and I were able get him one for Christmas his own size so he won't be needing this. I figure you'd like it back..."

"Thanks..." was all Clint managed to sputter out, but his brother knew how much it really meant. Even after all the time apart at that moment it seemed to feel like the years were nothing.

"Will I be seeing you again?" Barney asked clearly not wanting to see his brother leave his sight for a long time.

"If you're ever in New York look me up," Clint said moving towards the door.

"Bye baby brother," Barney said as Clint gave a final wave and disappeared.

Back in the hotel room Clint got a long talking to about how paying a little boy's medical expenses wasn't in the SHIELD budget, but Clint knew they had the money and would pay for it. He had also broke protocol by letting his brother know he lived in New York, therefore letting him know SHIELD had some sort of base in New York. Clint had seen his brother though, he was no threat. After about twenty more minutes of the same thing she finally stopped and starting looking into how to track down their next informant, last rumored to be hiding somewhere in Quebec.

Clint just hoped he'd be home soon so that he could see Natasha and talk to her about seeing his brother again. Just as he knew everything about her, she knew everything about him. She would know that seeing his brother with a family, somewhat settled had made him happy. Maybe it would help to convince her to have a family too.

Because his brother's words were true; he'd do anything for his family, and Clint would do anything for Natasha and the baby. He would follow them to the ends of the Earth and since they'd be threatened a few days before Clint had decided he wouldn't let the baby be adopted. Unless Natasha wouldn't help him at all because then he'd have no choice. He couldn't raise a child alone.

But the idea of anyone getting their hands on his child to turn it into a weapon, to hurt it, that was never going to happen.

* * *

**So Clint is gonna keep the baby, UNLESS he fully approves of the persons adopting or Natasha just refuses to help because lets face it. Master Assassins can not raise children alone. Now Natasha must make her decision. **

**But the main point of this chapter was to show that although he may not express it Clint feels. Natasha has difficulty with her emotion but even though it may compromise him Clint loves and hates. When Loki said "You have heart." to him I feel like he meant that his job is more than just a gun for hire. Clint genuinely cares about what he does and who he's protecting. **

**So now please give me reactions, thoughts, comments, ideas, and predictions for the future. And of course I will leave you all a little note at the top of the next chapter in response!**

**I know this update came a little late, but the next update will be Saturday evening!**


	11. Chapter 11

**So first I'd like to thank everyone who reviewed, new or old. They always inspire me and I've extended the story by a few chapters because I wanted to give you more of Clint and Natasha's past and incorporate your ideas. After the positive reaction to Barney I'd also like to include him some more. Where I'm not yet sure, but it may be in the sequel I'm planning...**

**I'd also like to give thanks to Mitelia, Amber-Jade James, and crayotino18 for there ideas and tips that went into this chapter. If I missed anyone else that helped I am so sorry! Let me know and I will add your name! **

**So after a chapter filled with so much emotion I bring you... the Christmas with (most of) The Avengers chapter! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Avengers. Or Christmas. **

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Natasha was in a good mood as she arrived at Stark Tower. Early that morning she'd been woken up by a text from an unknown number in Eastern Canada saying- _I'll be home within 48 hours. Merry Christmas Nat! Try to enjoy it.'_ She'd sighed. It seemed every year since they'd met they'd been on a mission during Christmas, that way agents with families wouldn't have to be. And every year Clint had tried to get her to dance with other agents to corny Christmas tunes and eat frosty the snowman cookies. Every year she'd only partake in the drinking of 'adult' eggnog; it wasn't so bad if you added enough vodka. Natasha didn't do holidays, but this year she was kind of looking forward to it all, minus the drinking of course.

So as JARVIS greeted her and started the ride in the elevator up to the Starks' private floor she had a smile in her face and a present wrapped under her arm. She'd kept her hair in its usual curls and decided to make Pepper happy by partaking in holiday color schemes and wearing a red sweater. She shed her grey winter coat as she stepped into the living room. She was the last to arrive.

Thor had requested to bring Jane and no one had objected. Bruce was still in South America, but he promised to come visit after Pepper and Tony's son was born and stick around long enough to play scientist for a little while at Stark Tower. Steve had become accustomed to spending more time at the tower just as Natasha had so coming for Christmas was obvious. Tony had also invited a friend of his from the air force to join in the festivities. She was instructed to call him Rhodey.

Pepper came to greet her and instructed her to put the secret Santa gift on the table in the center of the room. After that she immediately gravitated toward Steve. Over the past months while Clint and Banner were worlds away she found him her next easiest teammate to communicate with. Neither liked to talk very much or discuss the babies being had within the group. It was perfect. So now she approached him saying Merry Christmas, he smiled up and returned the greeting. He showed her some sketches from Central Park he'd been working on and she knew her secret Santa gift for him would be perfect.

Of course Pepper didn't let her and Steve stay secluded on the couch forever and introduced her to Jane. Natasha found her impressive. She was intelligent enough to understand everything Thor said which was often a puzzle. She was also one of the people who had been discovering ways between Earth and Asguard. Pepper must have given her some clue about not mentioning the fact Natasha was clearly almost six months pregnant because Jane said not a word.

Soon they all sat down to dinner and Natasha had never eaten better in her life. She had been to many extravagant restaurants and famously catered dinners, but the food was more than extraordinary. Maybe it was because she was pregnant or maybe it was because she was with friends, but either way she couldn't put her fork down, except maybe to laugh. Natasha was actually laughing and smiling. It wasn't much and was casual compared to some of the snorts that came out of Jane at one point, but all of it was genuine. Clint would never have believed it.

After dinner, but before desert they all sat down on the couches and chairs positioned around the table stacked with presents. A few weeks ago Pepper had arranged a secret Santa gift exchange once she'd received the guest list. Tony wanted to go first of course and handed his gift to Rhodey. Natasha had decided she'd liked him, if for nothing more than discouraging Tony's antics.

It turned out to be a phone just like Tony's. He said it was would have no overseas charges so he could call his new girlfriend whenever he wanted. Rhodey rolled his eyes and said thanks, Natasha knew then that Rhodey must have been something like an older brother to Tony. They watched each other's backs and constantly bickered, but there was love there.

Next Rhodey had received Tony and gave him a baby monitor that apparently had been adjusted by JARVIS to be louder than any music Tony could possibly play in his workshop. Pepper was the one to say thank you for that gift. Tony responded by saying, "Thanks for the excuse to build a new speaker system!" As Pepper and Rhodey both sighed Natasha realized it wasn't just Tony and Rhodey that were incredibly close; the three were a set.

Pepper then volunteered to go next and handed Natasha a small bag with a simple green card that read 'Happy Holidays' in red letters. Simple, just the way she liked it. She read the inside of the card quickly to herself. It read- _'I know you've insisted you don't need it and please don't be mad at me, but I saw you eyeing it when we went shopping. I thought I could get it for you… just in case.'_ Natasha had an idea of what it was as she carefully dug into the bag and pulled out a yellow pair of baby pajamas. They had a duck on the right side of the chest.

You could feel the room tense as everyone realized what it was. For a moment Natasha just stared at it herself. It was true she may have lingered thinking it was cute, but she hadn't thought about it or really thought about buying any baby clothes. However since the run in with the man last week she had begun to question if she really trusted anyone but her and Clint with the safety of their child. So now as she stared at the small bit of soft fabric in her hands she started to see it again, a small child with curly red hair and Clint's grayish, blue eyes. It would laugh and smile at her and not care about the people she had killed or all of the nightmares that haunted her…

Pepper cleared her throat a bit as an earth-to-Natasha and she quickly looked up with a small smile on her lips, "I'm not sure if I'll need it… but thank you Pepper. It's cute."

Pepper then grinned from ear to ear while squeezing Tony's hand as if to say 'whatever snide remark you're about to make don't even think about it', "I'm so glad you like it Natasha."

With that Natasha put it back in the bag setting it down next to herself and reached to the middle of the table grabbing the box she had brought then handing it to Steve. You could tell Steve was pleased with his secret Santa when he smiled reading the front of the card Natasha had bought 'Merry Christmas'. The man knew the Russian wasn't religious, but appreciated that his beliefs were put into consideration. He read Natasha's simple message about him being a good friend (which both knew was now true) and then tore off the paper. His expression showed confusion and Natasha had expected nothing less.

"It's a drawing tablet," she said kindly, but he still appeared confused. "I noticed you go through a lot of sketchpads and with this you can never run out of space. You can draw in any color or marking style you want then press one button and it will save on the device and the internet so the drawings can never be lost or ruined. It has the texture of paper so it feels the same as a notepad. I thought it would be an easy way to bring one of your hobbies into the twenty first century."

By then a smile had spread across the soldiers face, "Thanks. I'll open it before we go." Natasha was glad her present had been a good one.

Steve then reached for the largest box and handed it to Thor. The god was noticeably excited to be receiving a gift from his favorite sparring partner. As he tore off the paper and top in a matter of seconds it revealed a clean cut black suit with a white shirt and red tie. "I had JARVIS calculate your measurements to be sure it would fit," Steve said to assure the god it was not made for just another tiny human.

"Ah for dinner parties!" Thor said remembering his lesson from Steve all the months ago since they'd last seen each other. "Thank you good friend." Steve nodded as Thor put the top back on the box. Both seemed pleased with the present.

Then Thor reached for a box everyone had been able to figure out was for Jane. It was a small rectangle and Natasha and Pepper had already been able to figure out it was jewelry. As Jane opened the box everyone could already see the sparkle off the gems. They were like diamonds with a slightly blue tint, and although small they were much shinier than any gem Natasha had seen. Jane was completely speechless, obviously not expecting to receive anything so extravagant from anyone.

Thor took the bracelet out of the box and gently took Jane's wrist to clip it on, "In Asguard these jewels are used by men to show their devotion to a woman. Tony has informed me in Midguard jewels are used to show the same. If you will accept them?"

Jane nodded her head having found her voice, "Thor they're beautiful. Thank you!" Thor was very pleased with himself then, kissing her hand once the bracelet was safely attached to her wrist.

Jane tried not to keep too much focus on her gift by quickly taking the last package off the table and handing it to Pepper. Pepper politely took the small square box and unwrapped it to reveal a small black cube with a barely noticeable button on the top. She moved to press the button when Jane stopped her. Throughout the evening Jane had been fascinated by the concept of JARVIS so she looked up as she spoke, "JARVIS, lights please?"

The lights in the room slowly dimmed until the group was immersed in darkness. Pepper took this as her cue to press the button. Immediately the room turned into an observatory with constellations usually only noticeable in the desert throwing themselves all over the room. As everyone looked around in awe Jane spoke up, "You can't see many stars in New York and my mother said they were the only thing that could put me and my brothers to sleep when we were little. So I thought your son might like them too."

Pepper pressed the button to turn off the cube and JARVIS took that as his cue to turn the lights back on, "Jane this is amazing. Where did you find it?"

"I made it," she said nonchalantly. Everyone could see Tony was peeved he hadn't thought of it first.

"Thank you. I'm sure the baby will love it," Pepper said moving to give the woman a hug as JARVIS alerted the room that desert was ready.

The desert part of the evening was casual. Pepper kept going on about how amazing the cube was and Tony already began the digital harassment of Rhodey by phone. Natasha helped Steve learn how to use his new drawing devise and he insisted it was the best and easiest to use present he'd gotten since his bike when he was five. Thor had decided to change into his suit; it fit him perfectly. Jane was entertaining everyone at one point or another, but constantly exchanged looks with Thor that told Natasha neither would be going home alone that night.

As the evening began to wind down all the men, with the exception of Steve, were at least a little drunk. Tony was the only one who had clearly had too much 'adult' eggnog. After Rhodey and Pepper had ushered him to bed people began to filter out. Jane and Thor were the first to go thanking everyone for a wonderful evening and insisting they'd be able to get back to their hotel in the snow. Not too long after Rhodey excused himself to the room he was staying in since he had an early flight the next morning. Steve and Natasha then chatted with Pepper for awhile until they realized it was nearly midnight. Steve insisted on taking a cab home with Natasha.

After the incident a week ago everyone close to Natasha at SHIELD had been briefed so of course Steve knew she wasn't exactly safe walking around at night by herself, so she agreed to split a cab appreciating that he wasn't treating it like a big deal. She thanked Pepper again for the gift and she and Steve had a quiet ride back to her apartment.

In the ten minutes she and Steve casually spoke about the funniest parts of the evening including Tony's several trips before being dragged to bed, the look on Thor's face as he laughed when Tony explained simple Midguardian jokes, and Tony's most embarrassing stories as told by Rhodey. They also agreed everyone's gifts were good, Steve once again thanking her again for his 'actually useful' technology.

The cab began to round the corner towards her building when he asked, "Do you think you'll end up using it? …The present Pepper bought you?"

Natasha looked at him then a little surprised. Since he'd told Natasha and Clint their thought of adoption was practically child abandonment the baby was not a talking point for either of them, but this seemed innocent to Natasha, just curiosity. If she said yes he'd be happy and if she said no he'd be disappointed so instead as she climbed out of the cab she told her friend the truth, "Maybe."

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**Natasha is now officially a maybe! Whoo! But theres still many chapters left, so don't throw a party just yet. Let me know what you thought of the gifts. I would have inculded Clint more, but I felt like if they talked he'd have to bring up Barney so that'll happen when he gets home IN THE NEXT CHAPTER!**

**So let me know what you thought of character portrayal, any ideas for moments or stepping stones you'd like to hear of in Clint and Natasha's past, and the usual general comments and questions. As always I'll write a little note at the top of the next chapter. **

**The next chapter will be coming at you right on schedule Tuesday evening! **


	12. Chapter 12

**Thank you for all the lovely reviews and comments. I've taken some into consideration- so****meone pointed out that Rhodey and Natasha should already know eachother. They were correct so for the sake of this story I'm just gonna pretend they barely met in the movie and didn't really remember eachother. My bad. Also the characters are shifting. Like Natasha is getting a little softer because she's been out of the field and actually making friends. She's happy. WOAH! haha. but I mean all the characters are definitely evolving so expect some minor developements here and there. **

**Oh and... Clint is home! No presents for Natasha... but some fluff?**

**Disclaimer: The Avengers is not mine... but I love it. **

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As Clint stepped out the back door of the SHIELD headquarters in New York he was tired, still in his mission gear, and very glad his debriefing was only an hour and half long. He would have to spend the entire next day typing up his thorough report for the file, but for now he could finally go home. He didn't bother to look at his watch until he was in the cab. 3:31 blinked in bright green making him sigh again; he was going to wake up Natasha.

He handed the cab driver some kind of bill and told him to keep the change. It was SHIELDs money and he didn't care enough to count. As he began to ride the elevator up to the top floor he felt himself waking up with a sense of excitement and relief. He was finally going to be somewhere he wanted to be. It was a strange feeling. Normally whatever apartment he was living in was simply a place to sleep and store mostly nonperishable food to be eaten on any day he didn't just get food somewhere else. The last time he'd had a place so real to call home, a place that didn't hop towns every three days, was back before his parents died when they lived in their small suburban home in Iowa.

He quietly unlocked the door sensing the SHIELD agents positioned nearby for Natasha's protection. Before they'd sent him home Fury had privately made it clear that he knew Clint was the father and made sure the agents watching Natasha would be aware of him as he was aware of them. He could also sense that they were far enough away that their actions would not be heard or seen and he appreciated the privacy.

He let the door creak open quietly. His tread was silent across the floor as he gently set down his bag. He was happy to see Natasha hadn't fallen asleep on the couch and decided that unless she woke up and decided to get out of bed he would tend to his hunger before his energy levels.

Making his way to the fridge he remembered which foods were there because of Natasha's cravings and because he didn't want to make any midnight food runs anytime soon he was sure not to touch them. He settled on eating some cold chow mein noodles out of the box, actually some of his favorite. When he opened the lid to the box it was completely full and he realized when Natasha got his text almost two days ago she must have bought them just for him in case he came home in the middle of the night hungry, not wanting to wake her up or eat her food.

To their friends and coworkers the way Natasha and Clint understood each other and predicted each other's wants and needs was strange and foreign, but they had simply taken the life or death understanding of each other in combat to a more personal level.

So after Clint was done with his very late dinner, or very strange and early breakfast, he threw out the take out box and made his way slowly to the bedroom. Somewhere along the way he'd already shed his jacket and boots, but he was too tired and lazy to change into anything else and it was cold so he settled for what he was wearing. He saw Natasha's silhouette coming up from the sheets of the bed, she was sleeping on her side like she did when she was relaxed, not on her back like when she was poised for attack.

It wasn't until he'd made his way around to his side of the bed that he could observe any physical changes in his partner. The most noticeable was her midsection. When he'd left nearly two months before the baby bump could have been excused by saying she'd been eating a little too much lately and was only noticed by others if they already knew or had heard rumors, but now it was unmistakable. He was glad then that Natasha hadn't been awake when he got home because he probably would have said something stupid like, 'did you swallow a watermelon?' When it came to Natasha he was never quick on his feet and when it came to subjects he knew very little about (until he actually experienced it), like pregnancy, he never knew what words would come out of his mouth and right now he was just amazed.

It was all really happening.

He moved to brush a strand of hair out of her face when he realized her eyes were opened and she was silently watching him. "When did you wake up?"

"I've been in and out since you got back. It started kicking the second you walked through the door," she said sitting up to move herself closer to him. Already their child was hyper-observant. She then noticed even in the dark his eyes widened a bit and realized he'd never felt the baby kick. Without warning or asking she took his hand and placed it on the side of her stomach where the baby was landing its foot throws.

When he realized what he was really feeling he smiled, "Wow."

"That wow has been a pain in my ass since a week after you left," she said as Clint just continued to smile and laugh a bit at Natasha's frustration.

"Takes after me then," he said looking at his partner. She gave him a look of agreement.

After another minute or two the baby's movements stopped and the space between them fell silent. At that moment Clint could think of nothing else, but what he'd been dying to tell her, "Nat, I saw Barney."

"What do you mean? You saw him or you talked to him?" she said taking her partners hand. They weren't a pair that really favored physical comfort, but she knew what this meant to him.

* * *

He looked at her for a few moments after, "Love isn't just for children."

She shrugged slightly to show that that's the way it was for her, the way it was always going to be, "I suppose you have people you love then?"

Over the past year she had heard isolated sentences about what she'd read in her partners file. That his codename came from his circus name and that he'd first learned to aim when his dad taught him how to throw a baseball. But she'd never heard the whole story.

However their agreement was to tell each other what the file couldn't so she waited and gave him the time to start.

It was a few minutes of him thinking. She could see his mind processing what he wanted to say and how he wanted to say it, then he began, "I grew up in a suburb in Iowa. It was just me, my parents, and my brother Barney. Not a care in the world. I played baseball every spring, summer, and fall with my brother, our parents cheering us on. I remember my wallpaper had space ships on it and I wanted to be an astronaut. My parents told me I could be anything I wanted to be and I believed them.

"One day when I was seven and Barney was eleven our parents decided to go out and leave Barney in charge. At first when they didn't come home we used it as an excuse to stay up and watch another movie and eat more ice cream past our bedtimes, but eventually we fell asleep. When I woke up Barney was waking me up because there were cops at the door. They proceeded to explain that our parents had been killed in a drunk driving accident when someone swerved into their lane.

"After a week of staying in a temporary home the state couldn't contact any known family and they let us go pack our things before they auctioned the rest off. Barney grabbed all the photos and I grabbed all our baseball stuff. The state was the one that reminded us about clothes. We lived in a large foster home for six years until I was thirteen and Barney was seventeen and he said that he didn't want us to be separated, but that he'd have to leave for somewhere else to find work once he graduated or turned eighteen. I didn't want to leave him; he was my only family left. That weekend the circus came to town so we packed up our stuff again and left.

"For the most part we handled easy stuff like cooking and sweeping up animal poop. Soon Barney was old enough to operate the rides, but I didn't want to wait until I was Barney's age to do that too so I talked to one of the top guys in charge, my mentor Trickshot. When he saw me he said he liked my face, said that I had a good build and he asked me how my aim was. I told him it was decent. I shot a bull's-eye on my second try.

"For the next year until I was sixteen I trained with him every day. We worked on all kinds of trick shots. Long range, short range; everything. Then he put me in his show as his masked apprentice. I did acrobatics, flying shots, and a lot of other stuff for the show. I was having fun, but then I realized I had left my brother behind. I got closer to him again and got him from the rides into the advertisement and money parts of the show. Barney had always been good with our money and he was helping to make a lot more for the circus.

"For five years I was in the show. I'd been twenty one for a few months when I walked in on Barney and Trickshot stealing some of the circus' profits just for themselves. They told me I had better not tell, but I told them I wouldn't stand for it. That's when the two people in the world I'd learned to trust came after me. Trickshot pulled one of his throwing knives and I knew what he planned to do. I ran for the big top and climbed on the high wire. It wasn't that he couldn't walk it, but most of Trickshot's tricks where with his feet no higher than two feet off the ground. So he detached the rope. I fell.

"They thought it'd kill me, but all it did was break my back. I remember Barney being one of the ones who carried my body out to the woods and left it in the mud, expecting me to die soon after. I wanted to die. However the next morning a group of guys out hunting found me and called 911. I got taken into surgery at a local hospital and my back heeled up in a matter of weeks. After that I went around taking security and hit jobs, anything to get by. That's when I popped up on SHIELDs radar and they recruited me. The rest is… well that's just what's in my file," Clint said quietly. He'd looked at Natasha the entire time as she gauged his emotions.

She was quiet for minute before she spoke, "What would you do if you ever saw him again? Your brother."

"I don't know…" he said then looking off into the distance as if he could see the people he'd lost there, just like his partner had.

* * *

He told Natasha the entire story start to finish, from arriving in London to leaving the apartment, "He has a family, a little boy, Nat. I can't get over it."

"I'm glad," she said smiling at him a little trying to be happy for him, but weary of what she knew was coming next. "You seem happy for him."

"Why can't that be us?" He asked squeezing her hand.

"Clint, you know why," Natasha said trying to not show all of the thoughts she'd been having while he was gone. She still wasn't sure and if she gave in now she wouldn't be allowed to change her mind.

"What if we die, what if we don't come back, what if they don't think we care about them enough," Clint said repeating every doubt that had bounced between the two.

"I'm serious about all of that Clint. If I die do you really think you'll be able to raise a child all on your own?" She said trying to make him take her input seriously.

He ignored her concerns, "Natasha our lives have been full of what ifs. What if our parents hadn't died? What if the Red Room hadn't taken you? What if Barney and I hadn't run away to the circus? What if you hadn't married Alexei? What if he hadn't died?"

The moment he mentioned Alexei he sensed Natasha stiffen. He had often imagined what she was like before her heart broke, but he knew there was nothing that would ever truly bring that side of her back. "Don't start with that Clint," she said showing she was hurt, taking away her hand.

He wouldn't stop now though because he could tell she was really thinking about it. He moved his hand to hold her face gently, "When you and the baby were in trouble… Natasha I can't spend the rest of my life wondering what happened to my child, wondering if they're safe, or wondering if I'm going to be sent to kill them one day because the wrong person got a hold of them. And we can control this. It doesn't have to be a what if."

She looked at him then and saw it in his eyes. Clint had almost nothing left in the world and to him letting the chance of a family slip through his fingers was unacceptable, but for whatever reason she still couldn't give him what he wanted. She didn't say anything and just turned away from him ashamed of herself and felt Clint get up and leave. He was going onto the roof to think like he did whenever he was upset and didn't know what to do. She laid in bed watching the sun come up trying to tell herself that she could do what everyone kept insisting she could.

* * *

**So Natasha wants to want to keep the baby, but she's Natasha so... Also that middle chunk was the other part of Rome where Clint tells his story. Also different from the comics. There are some simliarities, but it is not canon. Although closer to canon than Natasha's. And next chapter will be the final decision as to whether they keep the baby or not! There will be much more after that, but you finally get to stop waiting to find out. **

**So any comments, ideas for flashbacks, thoughts, and reactions please review and I'll leave my little message at the top of the next chapter!**

**The next update will be on schedule Friday night!**


	13. Chapter 13

**Thank you for the reviews. Not as many as usual but I appreciate them as always! Also please know I live on the west coast and therefore did not realize that my updates were not coming to some people until the next day. I apologize for this happening again but I dont have the opportunity to update until late. **

**Are you ready for the decision and... the real twist?**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Avengers. But I will own the DVD Septmeber 25th :D**

* * *

For the next few weeks after Clint got back Natasha tried not to let him bring up keeping the baby because every part of her brain told her it was a bad idea, but her heart had begun to talk for the first time in years . Love was for children. Did it count if you were loving a child? No. Because anyone she loved was sure to die or be hurt. It's what she told herself everyday when she woke up and before she went to sleep.

Meanwhile she and Clint were back to their usual. Paper on Sundays and laughing at what newscasters thought was going on around the world on the evening news. He'd only been back for a week when Natasha was out when he came home from SHIELD. A small note was taped to the fridge- _craving Italian. Be back with dinner in less than 30. 6:15. _Whenever they were trying to keep track of each other they always left notes to say where they'd be, how long it would take, and what time they left. He glanced at his watch, it was 6:34. If she wasn't back within 11 minutes and she didn't answer her phone he'd have reason to worry, but for know all he wanted to do was get out of his stupid suit.

Because he only wore them in and out the front doors of SHIELD maybe two or three times a week he only owned three suits, three button up shirts, and three ties. Any he needed for undercover missions were picked out and sent to him by SHIELD.

As he started to hang it up on his small part of the closet (no more than he'd needed) he noticed a small bag in the corner on the floor under the shelf that usually housed Natasha's extensive shoe collection, but she'd lent some to Jane for a New Years Eve Gala she was attending in New York that had revealed the package.

Clint figured if Natasha really didn't want him to know what it was she'd have hidden it in a better place than in their closet so he reached down for the small package. It was a Christmas present from Pepper. After being dragged to Stark tower for an apparently weekly dinner with the Starks and Steve it had become apparent to Clint that in his absence, and her boredom from desk work, she had actually made some new friends. So when he read it was a Christmas gift from Pepper he wasn't surprised. Then he pulled the gift out and thought maybe Natasha had been trying to hide it.

It was a pair of yellow baby pajamas with a duck on the chest. It was softer than any material he'd ever felt and all he could do was stare. Was he missing something? It was probably just Pepper playing for his team and trying to convince her to keep the baby, but then why was she keeping them? If Natasha was still as attached to the idea of adoption as she said she was then surely she would have gotten rid of them. He wanted to ask Natasha about them, but since their discussion when he got home as long as she didn't come to him with a list of families to prescreen for adoption he was going to let her have the time to herself.

It was then that Clint heard the door open and Natasha drop her purse on the counter, "I got Lasagna for two. I suggest you get out here before I finish it myself." Clint quickly put the bag back just the way he'd found it making sure Natasha wouldn't notice.

Entering the main area of the apartment he noticed the subtle smile on her face, "What are you so happy about? Did they accidentally give us extra?" Natasha raised an eyebrow at him but he just smiled back and took his plate.

For the next few weeks as said they continued their routine, which included dinners at Stark Tower, they began to tense again feeling the impending assignment of Clint to another country or state for another mission. Normally she and Clint had barely days between most missions, but right now Natasha knew Fury was trying to keep Clint out of the field unless completely necessary.

Natasha was nowhere near her due date, but if Clint left now and was gone for as long as he had been before she may have to pull through by herself in the delivery room and make the decision of a couple to adopt to without Clint's consent. He wouldn't agree to that and she didn't blame him which meant they would have to keep the baby until they did find someone and that meant bonding and when your goal was to give up your child bonding was bad.

It was then why the cab ride over to the Starks' was tense after Clint had gotten a call from Fury about a seek and destroy mission in Croatia. It really was simple, three days tops, but Natasha didn't like how calm Clint was about shipping out the next morning.

As they arrived at the tower any remnants of their argument was hidden. They arrived at the Stark's personal floor to see Tony, Pepper, and Steve all on the couch as Tony tried to explain to Steve how the controls for Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 worked.

"This is nothing like a real war zone. I can't do anything but shoot," Steve said looking at his controller more than the screen.

"That's why it's called _modern warfare_ Capsicle," Tony said trying to pick up the slack for Steve.

Pepper meanwhile was due in a little less than two weeks and looked more tired than she'd ever been in her entire life. She sat half asleep near Tony's side, but perked up as her two favorite agents walked out of the elevator, "Dinner is ready whenever these two decide to turn the game off."

"I haven't beat this on veteran yet Pepper!" Tony said trying to make her understand why it was more important than eating.

That's when Clint crossed the room, snatched Steve's controller, and fired quickly through three waves of infantry wishing Tony had better skill with the clearly fake predator drone. The level was beat in a time no one even thought possible and Tony turned to Clint slightly impressed, "When did you start playing?"

"I didn't," Clint said tossing his controller on the couch. "I guess I just have good aim."

Tony tried to act like he hadn't just been shown up by helping Pepper over to the table as everyone else took what were apparently their normal seats. Once they were seated a simple steak dinner was served and the five chatted casually about popular news and telling short stories from their own lives. They all found out there was a girl Steve apparently had a date with the following night. A bit shocked, they learned she was from a small old fashion town in the Midwest working as a waitress while trying to get hired as a journalist of some sort and it all made more sense.

Pepper was the happiest of course which was why when Steve excused himself to go home and to bed so he could get to work early and make sure none of his paperwork at SHIELD for training recruits caused him to be late for his date, she practically shooed him out the door.

Although Clint and Natasha both liked Pepper, and at moments Tony, neither wanted the evening to turn into an assumed double date so they too tried to excuse themselves, but it turned out the Starks had something important they wanted to talk to them about. They all settled on the couches and Pepper started, "We know that you both like to keep your personal lives very private and we can pretend this conversation never happened at the end if you want, but Tony and I had an idea."

Neither Natasha nor Clint liked where this was going as Pepper continued, "We know what happened two months ago before Christmas with that man. I didn't want any more detail than I needed but Fury briefed Tony since Natasha was spending more time here. We know that must have made you two realize that your child can't be safe with just anyone. If you've already found a family then obviously this wouldn't work but-"

Natasha had been tense since Pepper had mentioned the man that tried to buy their child, but now Clint could feel her calming down next to him. He however was the opposite knowing what Pepper was about to say. "-Tony and I have talked about it and we're already going to have one soon ourselves… we were thinking we may be the best option for adoption if you would let us. There are few places safer than Stark Tower and the baby would have an older brother…" Pepper could tell she still had their consideration but the logistics were what they wanted, not the happiness and fluff. "The point is if you wanted to use adoption we know the hardest part would be finding a couple that can protect your child and we can. So Tony and I, if you want, will adopt your baby."

Clint knew where he stood. He didn't want his child leaving his or Natasha's sight ever, but this was the one thing Natasha was still wary about. She didn't want her child going to someone that couldn't protect it but now sitting across from them was one of the most loving people they knew and the one that could buy an army for protection. He could tell she wasn't opposed and when she spoke he knew when they got home they'd be having a long argument, "We'll think about it."

What followed after that were simple goodbyes and a very quiet cab ride home.

As they entered the apartment Natasha made her move to the bedroom as if she was about to go to sleep and Clint was not going to let this conversation sit anymore, "Are you really going to ignore this?"

Natasha paused, leaning slightly on the door frame before she turned to Clint. She didn't say anything, but he could see it in her eyes again. She couldn't decide and there was no compromise. She couldn't guarantee her child's safety without letting it into her heart. "They're probably our best option."

Clint made a move towards her taking her face in his hands, "Natasha what I said… that we could be parents. I wasn't lying. And I can't do it. I can't put the safety of our baby into someone else's hands even if its friends I just-"

His sentence was stopped when she put her lips against his and when he looked back at her he could see the words forming on her lips, "Clint I'm not-"

"You could be a mom Nat. It doesn't mean you'd have to bake cookies and smile all the time, but you could love them. I know you could," he said seeing the fear in her eyes grow and yet ebb at the same time. He wouldn't dare say it. Over the years of being her partner he'd given up and let his feelings for her invade his heart. On missions he'd kept his mind separate, but now looking at her he just wanted to say it: those three words. He kept them inside though because he knew it would be too much for her after everything she'd been through.

"Well I sure as hell wouldn't let Tony Stark anywhere near our kid. He'd probably try to make it one of those suits," Natasha said becoming more of herself again.

But it was something about the way she'd said it that made Clint's eyes get a little wider; it wasn't just a no to Tony and Pepper's offer but… "Nat… I thought you said they're our best option…"

"Then I guess we don't have any other options," she said as she saw him trying to fully comprehend what was going on. She herself was still trying to understand what she was saying, but it was starting to make sense in her head too.

"Nat… are you saying?" he said watching her eyes start to light up with his. If there was anything that did make Natasha smile it was Clint's happiness. Maybe she could do it after all. She just nodded.

* * *

It was late at night when Clint woke up sensing something was off. After Natasha had finally let her feelings make a decision for her they'd kissed their way into the bedroom laughing and making a list of things they'd need to do over the next two months in between breaths. Getting a bigger apartment, once again telling their friends, and buying supplies like a crib and stroller were all amongst the mentioned things. Eventually she had just let him hold her smiling as she so rarely did. The Black Widow wasn't the family type, but maybe Natasha could be.

But he knew as he woke up that something wasn't right. He could tell Natasha sensed it too. One of his arms was draped around her and he slowly moved it to reach under Natasha's pillow to reach for the knife when he sensed movement. Automatically the two sprang to life Clint with a few knives to throw, Natasha reaching into the bedside table for her gun, but the men were closer than they anticipated.

Two had already grabbed for Natasha and nearly had her subdued as Clint fought off another four with knives continuously wishing he had his bow and arrows which sat with his other packed gear for the mission near the front door. The men were well trained and he had no way of reaching Natasha as they created a wall between him and her. Two were down near Clint when the two men fighting Natasha had her arms and legs securely tied together. Normally they would have been no problem but at seven months her usual fighting skills were nowhere near where they needed to be. At one point she could see the men were threatening the baby every time she was about to break the bonds and eventually she gave up.

Clint was wondering where the SHIELD agents were as the men begun to drag Natasha out of the apartment onto the deck. By now he'd been able to get a hold of a gun hidden throughout the room and easily shot down the other two men in two shots leaving both alive enough for later questioning. Already the men had hooked themselves and Natasha to some kind of contraption pulling them up to the roof and he didn't spare a second.

Grabbing his bow and arrows by the door he rushed for the staircase seeing one of the SHIELD agents down in the hallway. He quickly grabbed the earpiece and switched it to the SHIELD base's main comm-link without halting his run, "This is Agent Barton. Agent Romanoff has been apprehended at her apartment. There were six men; two have taken her to the roof. Other agents are down. I'm in pursuit."

He got a response signaling that a team was immediately being dispatched to their location as he burst onto the roof top. Already he had a grabbling head attached to the arrow. He'd already deduced they'd be taking a helicopter. Blowing it up would kill his partner so the best he could do was try to go along for the ride. When he got to the roof the helicopter was taking off, doors shut, and widows blacked out. He kept up his run as he shot an arrow for the steps attached, but they knew better and the hook wasn't big enough. They'd planned for Hawkeye.

So then as he heard SHIELD asking for a check in he simply said they had her heading north and watched his happiness slowly disappear into the distance.

* * *

**I know. I'm mean. They're gonna keep the baby then Natasha goes and gets kidnapped. Well I mean I said 21 chapters and I just don't think Clintasha is full of that much fluff. Though there will be some! **

**So reactions, thoughts, ideas for flashbacks, and predictions please! And I'll write a little note at the top of the chapter. Also I am thinking about a sequel. Obviously you guys have no idea yet how this may end but from what you know so far would you read? Maybe Pepperony?**

**Again sorry for the techniqually Saturday update on the east coast. Monday morning here will be the next update! **


	14. Chapter 14

**Thank you for all the reviews! Even though most were telling me that I'm evil/mean, but I am being evil/mean so... This chapter is basically well, what happens now? It also has a flashback with some Clint and Natasha goodness! And I agree that the baby's been through too much, but I mean it has some kick ass parents. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Avengers... **

* * *

It had been three months since he'd let the beautiful Russian spy live and three months since he'd found out that he wouldn't be running missions solo anymore, now she was his partner. He had observed her a few times before in training, but the two still hadn't spoken since he spared her. In watching her and hearing of her progress in between his last few solo missions he knew he'd made the right decision so today when Coulson brought them into the debriefing room for their first assignment he was almost looking forward to it.

She sat already reading the file with her usual blank expression. He tried not to linger on her though, the fiery red hair, the subtle part of her lips… he could see why she was a natural. "Sorry if I'm late, Sir."

"You're right on time Barton," Coulson said as Clint sat down and started reading the folder as their handler narrated it for them.

"You'll be undercover as a married couple from Canada who are looking into buying illegal software to ruin your insurance competitor's records system. The man you're after is Antonio Medina, Spain's most infamous virus designer, who is starting to work on software capable of hacking into main frames that hold nuclear launch codes. So far there are limited interested parties, but we'd prefer to shut him down before we have to begin intercepting nuclear launch codes," he paused for a moment. "This would prefer to be an extraction so we can get him to start playing for the home team, but if he won't come quietly it becomes an authorized hit."

"What will be our individual parts?" Natasha said looking up from the file. Clint had seen her flinch ever so slightly when Coulson said they'd be pretending to be married; this was going to be fun.

"You two can decide what angle you want to take, but your first arranged meeting with him is a benefits banquet in Barcelona tomorrow night. SHIELD just wants him as an asset or dead. Your flight leaves in three hours. Your wardrobes are already packed for you, all you have to do is choose what weapons you want available when you arrive," he said. "Have fun." Coulson knew his agents well. This mission would turn out all right in the end. Barton was already one of his favorites for his decision making and listening skills (whether bad or good), and the eyes on Romanoff; this would be fun to watch. Coulson was betting they'd already slept together.

* * *

Clint didn't waste any time. He kept his comm-link active in one ear and dialed SHIELD with his phone in the other, "Get me Fury."

The woman on the other side was a voice Clint heard often, but never learned the name of; Fury's secretary he never used, "I'm sorry sir Director Fury is on the phone with the ambassador from Croatia." The man really never slept.

"Tell him it can wait, Agent Romanoff has been kidnapped, and that I need to talk to him now," Clint said sternly. He was sure not to yell. He needed to keep his cool or else none of this was going to happen the way he wanted it to because all he wanted to do was steal a Quinjet and go after her. Go after the baby. But he couldn't think emotionally now, Natasha would be scolding him for it.

The next voice he heard was a pissed off Fury, "You had better not be sounding a false alarm Barton, my world does not revolve around your personal life."

"The chopper left the roof less than three minutes ago," he said peering down at his watch. "But it was going north fast. I know SHIELD is in pursuit, but they won't catch them. She's gone, Sir."

"From the beginning," Fury said now seeing that this really was a priority.

So Clint told him everything not caring that anyone who listened to the conversation would know he and Natasha shared a bed and an apartment and basically a life, it meant he'd have a better shot at getting her back the more everyone knew about the attack. "You saw no tattoos or emblems on their clothes, anything that stood out to you at all."

"No, Sir, they were very thorough," Clint said wishing he had looked better, but he knew he was the best. If he hadn't noticed something there was nothing to notice. And there hadn't been anything particular about the men, but right now SHIELD agents were also hauling the two men Clint had left alive out for questioning and he was sure they'd also investigate the dead.

"We'll bring you in for debriefing Barton," Fury said following protocol, but Clint had been patient and now he was done with protocol.

"No, Sir, I think it would be best if I began pursuit right away," he said hoping Fury would let him, but tonight was not his night.

"Agent Barton you know the conflict of interest here," he said trying not to sound too much like a boss. Fury understood emotion and right now he couldn't let Clint's get the best of him.

"Sir, she's my partner."

"And I don't need you to be running off ready to kill everyone in your path to get her back. We'll be setting up a team to search for her," Fury said knowing what the man's next request would be.

"Then I select the team," he said knowing the only people he trusted to try to get her back.

"Give me the names and I'll call them in."

* * *

Clint had already called Steve and Tony when he arrived at the tower. On the ride over he had still held it together and not let himself think about what they may be doing to her or what horrible place they may have taken her. Natasha was still a strong person and she would survive until they found her. He did, however, allow himself to think why the men took her; it would be vital for the search.

The only thought that continued to pound through his head was the baby. They wanted the baby. A few hours ago he had been so happy. He was going to be a dad. A year ago the last of his priorities had been family, yet now he and Natasha had been falling asleep discussing the color of the baby's room. The only thing he had to hang onto now was that he'd get her back. He'd get both of them back somehow, and then they could be happy. In a few days he hoped to be painting a bedroom yellow…

When he stepped into Tony's media room he and Steve were listening to the last of his debriefing with Fury. Quickly removing any unnecessary thoughts from his mind he put on a face so serious even Natasha wouldn't have been able to read.

"I'm sorry Clint," Tony said looking up as the man entered still with small spots of blood on his clothes.

It was the first time Tony had called him anything but Legolas, Robin Hood, or Barton, but he ignored the sentiment, there wasn't any time.

"What do you have so far?" he said looking at the various screens Stark was running.

This was where Rogers spoke up. He was better at game plans than Tony, "We were unable to get a fix on the chopper before it left the city, but judging by the way you described it, they'll need to stop and switch over to a personal aircraft unless they plan on keeping her within a 50 mile radius, but they planned well so they'll know to take her far away. Tony's set up a program that'll let us track any airplanes that depart from private air fields over the next twelve hours within 50 miles." As he said the last bit Clint could see the sadness in Steve's eyes, "Right now that's the best we can do."

"I gave Fury the list of agents I want you two using," Clint said watching Tony already watching private airfields. "You should be able to leave as soon as they're assembled."

Steve nodded quietly also watching the screens. When he had called he'd simply wanted the two to run teams from New York, but Natasha was their friend in whatever strange way it had come about, and they'd both insisted that although sometimes separate they were all a team, the Avengers left no one behind.

Steve insisted he could reschedule his date and Tony said Pepper wanted him to go as long as JARVIS made a call to him the second she went into labor and Clint stayed at the tower to keep a watchful eye over her. Clint made sure agent Hill was placed on Tony's team not only to keep him in check, but also so that she could take lead should Tony have to leave in the middle of a battle. He also had no problem staying with Pepper and keeping Stark Tower their communication center, especially if it meant getting Natasha back sooner.

Their departure came a few hours later and as usual Clint stood against a wall in the corner watching. Steve had their bags packed and slung over his shoulder as Pepper said goodbye to Tony, "Don't worry about me. Just try to come back in one piece."

"I always do," he said giving her a quick kiss. "And the second anything-"

"Don't worry about me. You'll get the call and Clint will be here to help. Just focus on finding Natasha," Pepper said practically pushing Tony out the door. He knew just as well as she did that the sooner they left the sooner this would be over. Clint had to applaud the maturity Tony had gained over the past months; he seemed to actually start caring about things other than himself.

As Pepper then turned to Clint he expected something expressing how bad she felt, but instead he got what he wanted to hear, "They're going to find her."

He was quiet for a moment before he let himself break, "We were going to keep the baby. Get a bigger apartment and everything. I finally convinced her we could be safe then this happens." Pepper put her hand gently on his arm. "They took her for the baby. And if it's the people we think it is… Fury should have let me go. No, none of this ever should have happened…"

Pepper wasn't going to let him beat himself up, "I know that the last couple months have been tough, but you couldn't have seen this coming. You did everything you could and they _will_ get her back Clint. Then you and Natasha and the baby will be a family. You can't let yourself lose sight of that. And just because Fury didn't let you leave doesn't mean you can't help. You're going to know everything that's happening and you can help them search from here. And nothing happens that wasn't meant to. When Tony disappeared for those few months I was just angry… but then he came back a better person. If you can believe that. All I'm saying is you'll get them back, and the baby wasn't a mistake."

He looked at Pepper then, still just as tired as she'd been a few hours before when he and Natasha had left. What made her care so much about others before herself he wasn't sure, but he appreciated that about her. And right now he wished Pepper could have been out looking for Natasha too.

Ultimately though he would have to trust the team he chose and trust his friends to bring her back. Right now he wouldn't leave Pepper, but if they didn't find Natasha soon… well Clint was never one to break promises.

* * *

Over the plane ride Clint and Natasha had quietly discussed how they wanted to play Medina. They were going to use Natasha's beauty and seduction skills to get him alone, where Clint would be waiting bow and arrow in hand. It was simple and easy and would become their routine for many years to come.

Now they were almost ready in the hotel room. "Zip me up?" Natasha asked lifting her waves of hair away from the long zipper on her back.

Clint turned, still with his tie undone, to see her in a long purple dress that somehow smoldered on her. Her hair somehow looked a little darker so it wouldn't clash with the color, but it was still as fiery as ever. He felt bad for whoever was supposed to be resisting her charms tonight; they were going to lose. He moved to zip up the dress as she began to talk, "Why can't we be like we used to be, so young and in love."

He laughed a little as she released her hair and it once again cascaded down her back, "Well once the company started to grow and I got my secretary I kept coming home later and later… you know how it is with work."

Natasha had turned then pulling the fake wedding ring onto her finger, "Which is why I've decided to have a love affair on our trip. I hear the men in Spain are very… fierce."

Their faces where only inches apart as she tied his tie for him without even looking and just keeping her eyes on his, "The looks you give me would scare most men away."

"That's why I married you. You're not easily intimidated," Natasha said moving away a little further then spinning in her dress, "See any guns?"

"Nope," Clint said tucking an extra gun into his jacket. He'd already hidden his bow and arrows in the mansion the party was being held at. "And if either of us is compromised the plan is?"

"See who makes it back here alive," Natasha said as if it was obvious. It always seemed to be life and death for her. He knew he'd never understand why.

"No," he said catching her eye before they left. "Partners stick around until the bullets stop flying." She seemed a little confused so he elaborated, "I'm never leaving you behind. And that's a promise."

She drank it in for a second. Maybe he'd had a partner before that died, or abandonment issues, but she nodded in acceptance of the rule. She did owe him a life debt after all so dragging his sorry ass out of a fire fight might be enough to repay the debt. Either way she felt better about it knowing someone finally had her back.

* * *

**So a little Clint and Natasha back story and fluff? Or just sexiness, but a little treat to counteract the sadness. So now some of the Avengers are going after her and Clint's warpath has yet to begin. And I don't mean to spoil but expect the arrival of one of the little ones in the next chapter! **

**So any comments, last minute name suggestions for either baby, ideas for flashbacks, reactions, and/or predictions please review and I'll leave my little message at the top of the next chapter! **

**Next update Thursday during the day so everyone within the continental US should get it Thursday! **


	15. Chapter 15

**I am so sorry for not updating on time! Long story short my car died in the middle of nowhere, I had to sleep in it for the night, and I do not have a smart phone for updating. I have ways I will be making it up to you because nothing peeves me more than when people don't update on time. **

**Otherwise, I loved all the reviews again! I did end up using suggestions/ideas from LauraJenCC, Fearless, and Amber-Jade James. Not exactly what some of you put, but I did use those reviews at least for inspiration and I wanted to make sure credit was given. **

**So here comes one of the babies and hopefully something to do with Natasha?**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Avengers. Stan Lee. That is all. **

* * *

It had been two weeks; two soul-crushingly long weeks of waiting, but Clint had kept himself busy. He slept in the chair in the media room so that he wouldn't miss any news from Steve or Tony, despite Pepper's many complaints and objections. They'd literally covered half the globe and there was still no word or sign of Natasha.

At the moment both Tony and Steve were in South America in the same time zone as each other and Clint. They'd called it a night for their men at midnight two hours ago. Clint had then checked on Pepper and made his way up to the roof knowing even there he'd be reachable by JARVIS.

Even though there was too much city light Clint looked up at the stars thinking about constellations he might have been able to see out in the countryside. Then he also wondered the incredibly cheesy thought that maybe Natasha was looking at the same stars, but he knew she wasn't.

She was probably locked up in chains wondering why they hadn't come for her yet and if they ever would. She was probably fearing for the life of their child just like he was. Not long after his team had left it occurred to him that if they delivered the baby then, with life support, it may be able to survive. He then reasoned that after that they would let Natasha go or kill her, not needing her anymore. He made sure everyone know about his worry, but a SHIELD doctor had said that they would probably wait as long as they could because premature birth could cause health complications. If the people wanted their next Black Widow they wouldn't risk it.

So now they had six weeks at maximum to find them.

Clint had to admit that of all the people he'd waited with to find out a status of an agent he was close to, if it couldn't be Natasha he liked it being Pepper. When Coulson had died Natasha had let him get mad at himself, but not for longer than he should have before calming him back down. Plenty of times when Natasha was hurt Agent Hill had come to check on him, but he found her attempts to take his mind off of Natasha mundane, and whenever Coulson came, as much as Clint appreciated him as a colleague and friend, he told too many jokes.

But now whenever Pepper came to check on him she wouldn't interrupt if someone was talking or ask more than she felt she ought to know. He had to give her updates too; after all she was Natasha's best friend, second only to him. In the morning Pepper brought him coffee before she went to work on something for Stark Industries and at night if she hadn't already seen him sneak into the kitchen for some food she'd drag him out of the media room to eat dinner with her promising that if anything happened JARVIS would tell them.

One night a friend of Tony's stopped by; Lieutenant James Rhodes. Clint remembered reading his name in one of Natasha's files and he liked him. The man had a fairly good sense of humor and had more than enough embarrassing stories about Tony and fond memories of Pepper. Clint decided to let Pepper introduce him and she said he was a new hire on Stark Industry's security force; one of the best they'd ever had.

For that night, even though it was only for an hour, Clint's mind had been taken off Natasha, until James (as he was instructed to call him) started asking about the baby; how many days left, how she was feeling, and how irresponsible it was of Tony to be gone.

"The doctor said four more days, but any time now really. I'm feeling fine, just a little tired. And Tony had some extremely important business he had to go away for. I sent him myself, and I know he'll be able to make it back before the baby is born," Pepper said trying to tell her friend not to reprimand Tony as soon as he got back. She also looked up at Clint giving him a face that said 'don't you dare let yourself feel guilty for this'.

James had just seemed to except this and move on to discussing some new movie that had come out Pepper really wanted to see. Clint may have tried harder to pay attention, but his mind was locked back on Natasha.

So now knowing how long he'd let her be gone he'd spent his nights up on the roof not sleeping and just trying to focus on what would be good when he got them back. Obviously Natasha would need some medical attention and they'd want to keep an extra watchful eye on the baby, but they'd still be able to plan. If Natasha was so bad the doctors wouldn't let her leave the hospital he would take pictures of apartments and show them to her. He'd do the same for baby furniture and clothes. Eventually, but before the baby came, he'd have everything built and organized so they could bring their son or daughter home and he could continue convincing Natasha it wasn't a bad idea for the rest of their lives, and he didn't mind that he'd probably want to severely hurt himself in the process.

He tried to focus on the good and when he couldn't he'd focus on different ways to find her they hadn't tried yet and all the places she might be that they hadn't looked. That's why as he was thinking of places they might keep her in the US, JARVIS actually startled him, "Sir, Mrs. Stark is requesting your presence on the suite level."

At this hour Clint knew exactly what this meant, "Tell her I'm on my way."

"Yes, of course, Sir," JARVIS said opening the elevator door for him and automatically sending him to Pepper's level.

There he saw her standing calmly with a bag beside her on the phone with who he presumed to be Tony, "Yes I'm sure, my water broke! Just put Maria in charge and... not all of their first names are Agent Tony... Just put her in charge and get here as soon as you can... Yes Clint's here and Happy will be driving us to the hospital... I love you too." She then turned to Clint with a smile on her face he was pretty sure wouldn't be there for too much longer, "Let's go."

Although he didn't want to leave his steady stream of information about Natasha, Clint had promised Tony he'd look after his family so he grabbed Pepper's bag as she called Happy to meet them at the front doors.

What ensued were some of the longest hours of his life.

When they reached the hospital Happy and Clint both helped Pepper inside and when they reached an official looking counter a nurse asked, "So which one of you is the father?"

The three of them almost burst into laughter, but Pepper kept it together and replied calmly, "He's on his way. These are my friends."

The nurse nodded politely and led them to a room Pepper had made sure would be available for her; private with the nicest amenities the hospital had.

For the first hour or so no one really came to check on them after Pepper clarified when her water broke and how far apart her contractions were. Deciding not to sit in silence or leave Pepper alone the three scrolled through the TV channels deciding to stay on the game show network considering at three a.m. every other channel was infomercials. The price is right came on with its old host and the three also decided to participate.

"$1," Happy said as a mini ATV swiveled around on the screen.

"$2," Clint said laughing as Happy glared at him a bit having been outsmarted.

"Really? You two couldn't just pick a reasonable guess?" Pepper watching as the two shook their heads. "Fine then… $3."

"See now that's unreasonable," Happy argued as they announced the real price on the show. It ended up being somewhere in the thousands, but no one cared as Pepper's phone began ringing.

She picked it up quickly, "Tony?... I'm glad to hear you're somewhere over the Caribbean, but... no Tony I'm not about to break anyone's hand... we're only two and a half hours in... oh I'm sure you'll know when the pain is excruciating... no go home and change first... yes I'm sure I'll be fine until then you're not going to miss the birth of your son... yes I'll tell him." At the last part Clint had felt her get a little tense. He knew she could push it off as a contraction, but he knew how to read people and the message was meant for him.

"Glad to know Tony's on his way. Do you need me to pick him up?" Happy asked not having sensed anything was different.

"No, he can drive himself here, but can you get me some ice chips?" Happy nodded getting up and slowly leaving the room. He may have been hired help, but he was still a loyal friend too.

As soon as the door clicked shut Pepper turned to Clint and he waited, "Tony said Steve called. They've got a lead out of Stalingrad."

Clint processed for a minute. Stalingrad was Natasha's home so of course it was one of the first places they checked, but who ever had taken her was smarter than that and the area had checked out clean. Now he just kept thinking, 'where could they be keeping her that they hadn't checked?' He knew what this meant though, they'd just located an actual starting point and they could stop chasing random leads around the world and actually find her.

"All Tony said is that the men who took her were hired out of Stalingrad, so whoever controlled the men for hire is still there and may be able to tell us who hired them," Pepper said trying to get Clint to focus on fact and not all the pain that ran through his head every day.

"Well that's good… it means we'll get her back sooner," Clint said trying to focus on the positives for Pepper at the moment. He was realizing more and more everyday as to why she was Natasha's friend and in the process she'd also become his.

Happy then came back with ice chips and as the contractions got worse they paid less attention to the TV and took turns holding her hand until Tony got there. It was five hours in that Tony had arrived. By then Pepper had decided to try to get a little bit of sleep, knowing she'd need her energy for later and Happy had fallen asleep in one of the other chairs in the room, because of course they were much more comfortable than normal hospital chairs.

As his friend entered the room Clint stood quickly motioning to him to be quiet and leading him out into the hall. "How is she?" Tony asked rubbing his hands together and Clint realized they were actually sweaty.

"Why? Are you a little nervous?" Clint asked receiving a glare from Tony, but then he told Tony how Pepper was and they quietly slipped back in the room.

When Pepper woke up two hours later she was happy to see her husband holding her hand, but the moment only lasted so long because the contractions were noticeably worse. Happy and Clint excused themselves to the waiting room hearing a 'You did this to me!' from Pepper before the door was all the way shut. The two stayed in the general area of the hospital, but around noon each took turns going to get food from a sandwich shop across the street.

After many more hours of waiting and bonding over mock impressions of Pepper yelling at Tony, Tony burst through the doors of the waiting room, "It's a boy!" The two men moved to congratulate him, both secretly hoping his son wouldn't be a perfect replica. The gender though had never been a secret and Happy asked what the name was, "Anthony James Phillip Stark." Clint noticed Tony cast a glance towards him when he said the second middle name. It was a fitting tribute to their fallen friend. "Do you want to meet him?"

The three entered the room to a clearly exhausted Pepper cradling a small blue bundle in her arms. From where he stood Clint could see a little tuft of Tony's dark hair. Pepper took her eyes off her son for a few moments to smile up at her friends as Tony excused himself so he could call Rhodey. First passing the baby to Happy, Clint was very observant as to how a baby was held. He was sure that at some point in his life he'd held a baby, just not one this important. As shocking as it was that he would (hopefully) soon be a dad, it was also shocking he had made friends that were parents too.

So when it came to be Clint's turn to hold the baby he was focused. Once the small being was situated in his arms he took notice of its chubby cheeks and clearly new, pink skin. Truthfully it wasn't as cute as he'd expected, but the only newborn babies he'd seen were on TV and those had to already be a few months old anyway. All the same he could see Tony's face and Pepper's nose, Tony's hair and for a brief moment what he guessed would be Pepper's blue eyes. When Tony came back in the room he gestured for Clint to give him his son, "I thought you didn't like to be handed things?"

Tony smirked as he accepted his son from Clint and he went to sit next to Pepper. She cooed at the small baby which elicited a smile from her husband. Happy said something about going home for a little while, but Clint was focused on something else. He imagined being able to hold his child, maybe a little girl with Natasha's fiery curls, or a little boy with her jade green eyes. He wanted them to be a family and be happily staring down at and smiling at their baby together. And he was done, done with waiting for news and depending on others to find her.

So as he stormed out of the room he wasn't surprised that Tony was on his heels, "Don't do this Clint!"

He turned, "And instead do what? Sit here and wait? If it was Pepper and Anthony that were missing could you honestly tell me you wouldn't go after them?"

Tony furrowed his eyebrows, "No I mean don't go all Jason Bourne and have Fury after your ass."

"It's called going rogue Tony," Clint said impatient with the man's jokes.

"Well not according to Sarah Palin," he said as Clint began to turn but he grabbed his arm turning him again. "Listen. I have a private jet and a star spangled man with a plan waiting for you at a private air field a 30 minute drive from here. Your favorite bow and arrows are already waiting. Fury will still be after your ass, but at least you'll have Capsicle to call him off."

Clint was actually shocked at what Tony was doing for him now, but before going he at least said, "Thanks."

The two men nodded to each other before Clint set off to find his family.

* * *

**So I had to make the Bourne joke. I've been thinking about the Bourne Legacy for days so yah. So yay little baby Anthony was born! I feel like Stark would want a junior and that he and Pepper were close enough to Coulson that although they might not give him a first name that a middle name in remembrance would suit them. Also now Clint is going after Natasha! WHOO! But I hope you liked the fluff and that Tony sort of got over his 'I dont like to be handed things' syndrome. **

**So any flashback requests, general comments, thoughts on Anthony, predictions as to how he'll turn out, predictions on where they'll find Natasha, and ideas please review and I'll respond at the top of the next chapter!**

**Also I apologize again for the late update! So in an attempt to make it up to you I'm writing a bonus flashback chapter of their first mission in Spain and I'll have that up as soon as I finish it (so late tonight or early tomorrow). And then I will be updating for the next regular chapter of the story when I should have been if I'd updated on time which will be Sunday midafternoonish. So see you all then!**


	16. Chapter 16 bonus

**So thank you for all the reviews! It is most definitely not the last you've seen of little Anthony and the Starks (hint hint sequel hint hint). And yes lets hope he inherited Pepper's personality. But this chapter is not a continuation of the story, its just a flashback. The end of the flashback from Chapter 14. Because I updated late and feel horrible so its a bonus of sorts :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Avengers or Mac and Cheese. But I do love both.**

* * *

They'd arrived in the latest Ferrari, a first joint mission present from Fury. Clint had handed the keys to one of the valets as he allowed another to open Natasha's door. After all he was supposed to be an ignorant husband, but he still saw her out of the corner of his eye. She put a leg out first of course letting some of it show from under her dress. As she pulled herself up from the valet's arm it was elegant, smooth, and flawless. Her hair danced across her face to fall onto her back and by the time she stood tall every man within a hundred yards was staring. The funny part was Natasha wasn't even trying yet.

Clint met her to take her arm and as they began their walk up the stairs they did their jobs of looking at everyone but each other. At the door they gave their tickets as Clint activated the tech that would make their body scans appear clean. They were patted down with no detection because they were the best; Clint controlled his glare towards the man patting her down. He may have been here to ignore her and he'd kept his opinion of her professional, but he wasn't free from her charms.

As they entered the room Natasha was already working it. Clint could have been a famous celebrity and appear to be no more than a handbag. Her dress was glittering under the lights of the grand chandeliers. Although it wasn't his area of expertise Clint very much preferred the ballrooms of undercover to the rainy roofs of stealth.

He and Natasha made their way to the table with the names; Christopher and Nanette Bates. Close enough to their own that it wouldn't throw them off, but because they were posing as a married couple they couldn't use their usual codenames of Clayton Burnham and Natalie Rushman. They were seated next to another married couple from Great Britain, an art collector living in northern Spain, a model from Italy, and Medina.

Although the model from Italy was no doubt beautiful Natasha outshined her without even trying. Clint wanted to know her secret, how she made every move seductive and charming at the same time. Of course to stay in character he made sure to flirt with the model the entire time. Her name was Sienna and of course she was beautiful so Clint had no trouble appearing interested. The two did of course express interest in Medina's software making sure share to information. If the crook decided to see if they were real it would all, of course, check out.

After the main course Natasha appeared to be done with her husband's behavior and she excused herself to the bar for a drink. Clint pretended not to care while still tracking her movements across the room. Medina was not far behind her of course.

About a minute later Clint set off his phone and excused himself from the table gaining a vantage point on his partner and listening in over their comms. She was leaning slightly against the bar; a fed up wife. As soon as Medina was in ear shot she ordered her drink, "Martini, extra dirty."

Medina didn't even ease into it, "Do you like things dirty?" Clint rolled his eyes. So Medina really was just like every other jackass.

Natasha turned smiling slightly, "It depends on what it is."

He was already hooked but Natasha liked to play so Clint watched as she flirted with him explaining how unloving her husband was how she meant to be vengeful for his cheating. All the time Medina was getting closer to her. She'd had three drinks when she started to act drunk, more seductive, but Clint had already learned how well she held her liquor. He also knew the sign of something having been slipped in her drink without him noticing, fixing a bobby pin in her hair. Her hair was untouched, and still flawless.

Medina proposed to take their conversation somewhere more private. He had a suite reserved on the top floor; Clint's favorite. Natasha responded by grabbing his ass and saying something along the lines of, "Why didn't you ask earlier."

Clint took this as his chance to make his move. He beat them to the suite, Natasha surely distracting him with her hips so her partner could get into his hiding place in time.

From his hiding place in the closet he could barely see a small bit of the bed, but with hearing, it would be enough for him. Natasha led Medina into the room a few moments later. When he shut the door Clint could see the lust in his eyes and felt bad for any man that tried touching Natasha without her permission, or at least he'd heard the stories. She was called the Black Widow after all.

So when Medina tried grabbing her ass she grabbed him and spun him down so that his face was planted into the bed, her easily locking him down. Clint knew she'd already thrown out the thought of simply trying to trick him as an asset and keeping up the persona. Sleeping with assets to keep them on the right side was a gray area and kept out of most reports, but this man just wasn't worth the charade.

He made his way out of the closet and had his bow drawn to a point where a shot through the man's eye would be too easy. Medina knew he was in trouble, so Natasha decided to have some fun. Dropping the American accent and letting the Russian lay on thick she kept her face close to his, "You're good at what you do. Yes?"

Medina just nodded. "So you are interested in money? I can offer you money."

"For what?" the man said as Natasha loosened her grip a little letting him sit up, but the kill shot would still be all too easy for Clint to take.

"For your skills and loyalty," Natasha said trying to seem a little nicer. The man was already scared, but he felt a little less threatened.

In fact he had started feeling confident, "I don't work for governments or large corporations. I take contracts."

"I used to take those," Clint said catching the man's attention. "But then I realized I did need protection."

The man sneered. He didn't think much of Christopher Bates or his bow and arrows, "Protection from what?"

"People like us," he said shooting an arrow right in-between Medina's eyes.

Natasha was the one to pull it out and hand it back to Clint who wiped it off before placing it back in his quiver. The both knew it was the right call. A man like Medina could have promised his allegiance, but he was a liar and not worth SHIELD's time. Deciding they didn't want to be questioned party guests the two slipped out the window quietly, and then blending in to the crowd on the street. For someone so magnificent and eye grabbing Natasha blended in with the crowd nicely; even in a lavish evening gown.

When they got back to their hotel Natasha called shower first and he didn't even care for one. Wearing a tuxedo for a few hours wasn't bad and he hadn't needed to take more than one shot, so he just changed into a t shirt and sweatpants and called for room service. Looking at what he could order on SHIELD's bill he realized he had no idea what Natasha liked to eat. He was sure she'd learned to swallow even the things she didn't like, but it was for after a mission when they weren't in a crappy hotel room. So he ordered one of everything off the dinner menu and hoped she'd like something.

When she got out of the shower the food arrived and she raised her eyebrows as he took the lids off of pizzas, spaghetti, and burgers. Surprising to him she went for the bowl of Mac and Cheese. He raised his eyebrows in questions and she replied nonchalantly, "It's the little things." He figured wherever she'd been trained probably had them on strict health diets that did not include Mac and Cheese.

The two were comfortable in silence but Clint turned on the TV and he tried to explain the show Law and Order as their brains translated it from Spanish. It was a calm evening winding down until Natasha did something he did not expect; she kissed him.

For a moment he just went with it, but then pulled away for a moment, "What was that for?"

"I thought we had fun last time," she said as she started taking his shirt off.

"Just because we're partners doesn't mean-"

"Just because we're partners doesn't mean we can't," she said taking off her own shirt and she wasn't wearing a bra.

A major internal battle was fought within Clint's mind in three seconds. If Fury found out he'd have his ass, and damn the looks he'd been getting from Coulson he should have known, but Natasha was beautiful, no... stunning, and absolutely amazing. As he crushed his lips back against hers he thought about how only an idiot would pass up an offer like this. And he tucked away the part of his brain that said in a relationship like this he was bound to be the one to get hurt.

* * *

**So this is their first mission together and the beginning of them really sleeping together. I feel like in he beginning Natasha would have seemed a little younger with her emotions so I hope that came accross. and Clint is tough guy with feelings. Caue that is why we love him (yah?).**

**So ideas for other missions, predictions for whats coming back in 'current' time, and general comments please review and I'll leave a little message at the top! Also PLEASE tell me what you think about a sequel. Would you read it? What would you want to be in it? WHO would you want to be in it? Wold you want more romance/action/fluff/angst? **

**So the next regular update for the story is tomorrow because of reasons explained in my AN in the last chapter. So see you tomorrow! **


	17. Chapter 17

**Thank you all who reviewed the bonus chapter. Obviously not as many but I wasn't expecting many since it was much shorter than the normal chapters, but now we're back on track! So last we checked Anthony Stark was born and Clint decided he was done waiting around. Now we're gonna get to know whats going on with Natasha. **

**Also I don't think this is M material, but there's definitely some darker stuff in this chapter so the T rating is in effect. **

**Disclaimer: The Avengers is not mine but Anthony Stark II is!**

* * *

Natasha had been patient when they took her. Every single part of her wanted to fight, but she physically couldn't be successful and so for the safety of herself and the baby she sat quietly with her hands and feet tied, cursing Clint in her head for getting her pregnant in the first place.

The men sitting with her in the helicopter were just watching her quietly, guns relaxed but not put away. After about 15 minutes she decided to speak, "Where are you taking me?" She had acted as if she was scared trying to be strong, but Natasha wasn't worried. Clint or SHIELD or someone was going to find her.

They looked at each other, but decided not to answer. She could then easily deduce that she was an important piece to the puzzle, so even if they were taking her for her child it wasn't their only goal or focus. Something also told her this wasn't going to be over anytime soon. If this was the Red Room as she had been suspecting they would make her pay for leaving first. They would do horrible things to her and then probably make her watch as they did horrible things to her baby.

Her suspicions were confirmed when she felt a needle poke in the back of her neck and she woke up chained to a wall in a brick room. Judging by the dampness she was underground, but having no idea how long she'd been out for this was the best she could guess for her location. She could have been on another planet for all she knew.

She tested her boundaries with the chains and she couldn't stand because of her arms, but she could extend her legs and if she sat with her back to the wall as close to the ground as possible she could reach around her stomach. That was all though and she starting hoping this would be over before it even started. She felt the baby start kicking. Natasha almost began panicking, thinking that whatever they used on her may have harmed the baby.

"Don't worry she is fine," a blonde woman said entering the room. Natasha was confused for a moment, but didn't let it show. Who did the woman mean when she said 'she'? Meeting the blonde's gaze her eyes fell to her stomach and the realization came. Of course they knew the gender of her baby. And now she did too. A daughter… she was going to have a daughter…

Her attention was snapped back up when the woman spoke again, "You did not know?"

Natasha had to decide now how to play this and so she played it in a way that would most likely get her and… her daughter… out alive, "I didn't care enough to know."

The woman smiled at that, "And that is why you stabbed the man I sent to make you an offer?"

Natasha knew she had to bring some of the truth into this, "I don't want to raise a child, but I believe the world already has enough killers."

The blonde nodded, "Enough killers like us?" Natasha shrugged. "The Red Room would be disappointed to hear that."

"Yes they probably would," Natasha said trying to block out the pain and nightmares associated those words. She kept telling herself this wasn't her worst fears coming true.

"You are probably wondering who I am," The woman said standing a little taller. 'Great,' Natasha thought 'So she's proud of whatever reason she's got me here for'

"It wouldn't hurt to know," Natasha said challenging her gaze.

"My name is Yelena," she came closer to Natasha now eyes beginning to light with fire. "I was raised one group of girls below you in the Red Room. You were the greatest they'd ever had by far and so their goal was to create another. They trained us to fight like you, interrogate like you, seduce like you, and kill like you. Natasha Romanoff: the greatest ever, but no one matched up. When it came time I won. I killed all the other girls in my group snapping necks just like you did, but it still wasn't enough.

"I still wasn't as good and so they kept me, kept training me. I've studied you, watched you. They told me I can't be the Black Widow until I can become you, replace you. The one place they said I was stronger was my emotion. They said you were always so weak. That when they slit Alexei's throat you cried. And now you've gone and found another man, another man whose throat I will cut open slowly and painfully if he comes for you before the time is right. And your child… well that's my favorite part.

"I'll be keeping you here while they give me surgery to look like you; an exact replica. Then when you give birth I'll be trading your daughter for my freedom. I'll hand her over to the people that molded us and I'll take your place. Once you're dead I'll take your job at SHIELD and on the Avengers team. I'll make love to the man you've toyed with for years and he'll never be the wiser. I'll be there for him when he learns about the people that ruthlessly killed our daughter. He'll never know the difference, and do you know why? Because what are we but killers and empty shells. It's not hard to be you because there is nothing there to try to be."

Natasha had kept a face so solid and unmoving she practically proved this woman right, but inside she felt more broken than she had ever felt before in her life. Her heart was breaking again into a million pieces for every one she knew. Only a few hours (or days, she really wasn't sure) before she had been laying in bed with Clint listening to him say that he wanted their kid to be just like her. She knew what he meant by it, but now as she felt small feet kicking her she thought about all the horrible things those feet alone may be able to do in a few years time.

She thought about Clint spending however many years it was before he met his unfortunate end being with and loving a woman he thought was her, but that he'd never know was someone else because Yelena was right; what was she but an empty shell? She'd never say it out loud or even completely admit it to herself, but she felt something for her partner. She felt something for the man that had pulled bullets out of her, taken bullets for her, and over everything else, let her live.

Last she thought about all the friends she'd made. She didn't want Yelena being the one Steve showed all his new drawings to. She didn't want Yelena being the one Pepper dragged shopping. She didn't want Yelena being the one who could talk to Bruce for hours about the condition of humanity. She didn't want Yelena being the one Fury yelled at for disobeying orders. She didn't want Yelena being the one laughing at Thor's jokes and lending Jane shoes. She didn't want Yelena being the one rolling her eyes at Tony because of something stupid he said. And she sure as hell didn't want Yelena being the one comforting Clint for the supposed death of their daughter.

So Natasha looked up at Yelena and said something that would throw off what she thought she knew. It would change the way she would behave and act. It was one the biggest lies she'd ever told, but she was the Black Widow so she told it flawlessly, "I've been wanting to die for a long time."

Yelena began a game. Everyday she'd come in and cut Natasha on the arm. On the fifth day Natasha realized it was tally marks for the days she'd been here. Yelena said it was to remind her of every day longer she was making her live. Natasha kept up the charade of hating her daughter by not touching her stomach and not caring as doctors poked and prodded for tests. Although she was sure Yelena wanted to do much worse than cut her the baby was her way out and if Natasha died the baby died. If Natasha went into premature labor and the baby had a health defect the Red Room would look elsewhere.

The one thing that did almost visibly bother Natasha was that every day when Yelena came to cut her she looked a little more like Natasha. After two weeks it was like looking in a mirror right down to the way she conveyed emotion with her eyes; the teeth, the smile, the lips. Then over the next week it was the body shape. The breasts, the butt, and the waist; if she hadn't been pregnant Natasha wasn't even sure if she could tell the difference.

One day it occurred to her that this much surgery in such a short time should have had Yelena bed ridden, but she wanted to keep up her silent streak so instead of asking she assumed the Red Room had learned some new tricks since she'd left.

It was on her twenty first day in containment when Yelena walked in wearing a t-shirt and jeans and bent down in front of Natasha. Although she was getting all the right nutrients sitting down for so long had made her legs weak and having to sleep in ridiculously uncomfortable positions had caused her body to drain nearly all of its energy. The doctors had warned that Natasha would not be strong enough to give birth and Yelena had replied, "We'll just cut it out and let her bleed."

Now Yelena reached out for Natasha's stomach. The second her hand touched the baby stopped moving. Natasha assumed she was as ultrasensitive as her father. Yelena lifted up what was left of her shirt. Natasha'd been left in the clothes she was brought in. The t-shirt she'd worn to bed that night was one that was already a little too small for her growing belly, but now it was tattered and stretched even tighter. At this point Natasha wondered if there was even a point to clothes.

Because of a cream SHIELD had given her Natasha barely had any stretch marks and those would all have been further removed after she'd had the baby. So when Yelena also lifted up her own t-shirt Natasha wasn't really too surprised. The skin looked a little flabby and stretched with identical stretch marks to where Natasha's were. The one difference was the jagged scar across her lower stomach. "That's where they cut her out," Yelena said quietly. "I didn't even get to see her. All of the sudden the crying just stopped. That's when I knew she was dead."

Natasha just averted her gaze not wanting to think any more about her daughter's fate than she'd already had to. "Don't worry," Yelena said smiling as she stood to leave. "Soon this will match too."

* * *

Clint and Steve had been together searching for a week and they were so close, they both knew it. When Tony had told them the jet was ready to go Clint hadn't realized how ready. It had almost as much tech for searching as his media room and on top of that it had a medical team ready for anything. The second half made him feel more at ease so that if they found Natasha near death in a third world country they still had a shot at saving her.

After going after the lead in Stalingrad they learned that whoever had hired them had requested the kidnapping and for her to be let off at a private air field. They were to drug her and abandon the helicopter so that someone else could come pick it up. He wasn't interested in sticking around so that was all he knew. Steve had stopped Clint from putting a bullet in the man's head, "He's a bad guy who did a bad thing, but he left her alive. He doesn't deserve to die." So Clint shot him in the leg and called for a SHIELD arrest instead.

Of course security footage of the air field from that night had been erased, but after a day of a lot of hacking, tracking, and trying to not completely leave Pepper to take care of Anthony on her own Tony found the footage. It had been five minutes after the Stalingrad man's men had left that black SUVs missing plates pulled up and carefully took Natasha from the helicopter. These men were just as well disguised. Clint watched the tape over and over up until the point of which the cars pulled away but he still found nothing.

It did remind him of something though. Pregnant women aren't supposed to fly in their third semester. So if the baby was what they were after Natasha still had to be in the Unites States. He also then asked the medical team what sedatives wouldn't harm the baby and how long they lasted. They said that unless the person didn't mind risking it they wouldn't give her more than one dose of any sedative that would last over six hours. They then had an official radius for search.

So for the past four days they'd been searching every possible place they could be keeping her. They showed pictures saying she was a pregnant addict they desperately wanted to find to try to preserve any health the baby had left. Of course whoever had taken her was very thorough and nothing turned up.

Now Clint was sitting on the roof of their hotel drinking a beer and watching the sunset when Steve joined him, "I know I keep saying it, but we are going to find them."

"I don't want to wait seventy years," Clint said making reference to the fact that they had also successfully found Captain America, but for Steve he was still lost.

"We're so close though. I think the house we're checking out tomorrow has a high chance," Steve said still trying to cheer up his friend. The soldier had his moments of toughness and leadership. He'd gotten in more than enough fights with Tony and trained new recruits because he could push them and be strict. For Clint over the past week though he'd seen the nicer, friendly side of Steve. He cared about his friends he'd made since coming out of the ice and Clint didn't want to let him think he had no effect.

"Yah, maybe tomorrow will be the day."

* * *

**So now you know the gender! IT's A GIRL! I honestly did flip a coin. I was secretly hoping for a boy, but the fates have decided and its a girl. Also I am kind of using Yelena from the comics. In the comics I know she was also trained by the Red Room and wants to be the only Black Widow, but this Yelena is not cannon. This Yelena is also absolutely nuts. So Natasha's in a bad place but Clint and Steve are, shall we say, next chapter close?**

**So any comments, name ideas, guesses on how this will end (be it fluff, character death, cliffhanger to the sequel, or something comppletely random), requests for flashbacks, and ideas please review and I will leave a little diddly at the top of the next chapter. **

**A week from tomorrow I leave for band camp and there are now only 3 chapters and a short epilogue left so the next three updates will be Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday, and epilogue Sunday. After that I will want to prewrite most of the sequel because I don't want to promise chapters then fall behind with school so the start up of that is pending, but these last four updates are solid! See you then! **


	18. Chapter 18

**I agree with you all that Yelena is abslolutely freaking nuts. But thats what I was going for so I'm guessing I nailed it? Also I've liked so many of the name suggestions that I've narrowed it down to three and I think I'm gonna have you guys vote! This chapter also has some blood in it and such so T rating is in effect! I'll have much more important stuff to say at the end.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Avengers! **

* * *

He was suiting up with Steve and five other SHIELD agents. They would be leaving two behind for infrared imaging and security surveillance by satellite, but Clint knew he and the super soldier were really all they'd need. If Natasha was there Clint wouldn't leave anything to chance.

They drove to within half a mile of the house. It was a large old plantation home in Virginia. It had been abandoned since the civil war, but from satellite imagery it looked very well up kept for a house that should have been falling apart. They snuck through the woods and surrounded the parameter. Clint knew it was the place when he came across a guard.

He snuck up quietly putting a tranquillizer in the man's neck. Steve had insisted on leaving as many alive for arrest as possible. The sedative also injected by the dart would knock him out for at least 12 hours so they could come back for him later. Before moving on he spoke into his comm that this was the place and Steve just said, "Clint be smart."

He knew he had to not go in guns blazing. He could be killed. Steve could be killed. His team could be killed. But over all else Natasha and the baby could be killed. So he picked up the comm out of the sedated man's ear and put it in his own. There was no real conversation on the other end until he heard a gunshot up from the other side of the house. His comms both simultaneously went crazy.

Steve's voice was loudest in his SHIELD ear and he heard what had happened, "Agent Geralds has shot a guard with the enemy's gun after a struggle. We have hostiles coming at us from the back. Agent Barton approach from the front. I'll infiltrate with you. Everyone else keep them going towards the back. If they-"

Clint stopped listening to Steve the second he heard the voice. It sounded like Natasha, but it couldn't be. If it really was her what she was saying didn't make sense, "Get the prisoner ready for extraction. Wait in the medical bay with her and await my orders. Be ready to cut."

He knew what it meant. They were taking Natasha to the medical bay and if they couldn't escape with her they were going to take the baby and run. The only thing that didn't make sense is that it sounded like Natasha had said it. Besides the obvious sound of her voice, it was her tone and attitude too. It couldn't be her though and so he knew it had to be someone prepared to act as some kind of double.

As he and Steve looked at each other before going in the front doors Clint just prayed he'd really know the difference.

* * *

When Natasha heard the shot she knew. They were finally here.

As if her suspicions were confirmed the baby started kicking furiously. In the past three weeks the baby had shifted and let out a kick or too, but she'd only give this much excitement if she sensed her father's presence. Clint was here.

Yelena came in the room then with two guards and a key, "I know you can't give much of a fight, but if you're good I might just let you have drugs before we cut her out. That way you can't really feel your death. Or maybe you'd like it better if you could."

Natasha had been silent for three weeks since she'd said she'd been wanting to die for awhile. So now she wanted to fight so badly. She wanted to yell into Yelena's face how she was going to lose, but standing on her legs she needed the support of the guards to walk and she felt so defeated. She thought in her head, 'Please hurry Clint.'

They carried her quickly into a medical room as she heard the fire fight come into the house, but judging by the sound it was large and they still had about five minutes before this room would be breached. Yelena motioned for the guards to lay Natasha on the table and for the doctors to begin the prep. The baby would just need to be transported in a sterile environment, "Sorry, Natasha. It looks like we don't have time for drugs."

Yelena came and sat next to her then, making sure her arms were securely cuffed to the table, "I'd love to stay and watch. I feel like I might be more believable if I saw her. You know so I could tell Clint whose hair and eyes she got, maybe whose nose or ears. But I guess in the story they just stabbed her and that was that. I'll run in fighting begging him to just get me out. 'She's gone! She's gone!' But I won't cry. Because you wouldn't cry right?"

At that moment Natasha was closer to tears than she'd been in seven years. The daughter she'd finally come to see as a beautiful gift, the thing that could wipe the red out of hers and Clint's ledgers, something that had made her really feel for the first time since they killed Alexei was about to be handed over to the people that made her what she was. But she kept her stone cold composure and Yelena just smirked turning to leave and take Natasha's life.

* * *

Left jab up then low kick right with a taser arrow (Clint's favorite of Tony's inventions) in the neck of the guard then behind him. Meanwhile Steve was throwing his shield to knock men out like it was a boomerang, but they just kept coming. He yelled, "Cap we've got maybe three minutes left and Romanoff's dead. One of us has to break through."

While he was waiting for a response from Steve he heard his comm from SHIELD announce they were sending in the medical team because of a man down. Clint didn't want to say it, but he pressed the button and spoke because he knew he had to, "Tell them to also be prepared for a premature baby and a lot of blood loss."

"Roger that Agent Barton, medical is being dispatched," he could hear the sadness for him in the man's voice. It wasn't pity because Clint didn't want it and he knew Natasha wouldn't want it, but the longer they were searching the more hopeless everyone felt and at this point if there wasn't a happy ending no one knew what they were going to do.

For a moment there was a break in soldiers and Steve looked over at Clint. The look of hope in the assassin's eyes was quickly turning into despair. He looked over at him then, "I can't choose, Cap. You're calling all the shots and I swear I won't hate you or try to kill you, but if we can only save one of them… you decide."

The soldier then felt the weight of everything drop onto his shoulders. The man had lost friends before. He'd watched his best friend fall to his death. But he knew nothing would ever compare to the loss of family, and if he did have to decide it would be impossible.

The two heard someone running towards them and they tensed ready for another round, but instead a smile spread across both of their faces; only Clint's was fake.

Natasha came running towards them in a tattered tank top, pants mostly intact. She fell in front of Clint breathing like she hadn't run in weeks and he knelt down in front of her. She was trying to keep a calm face with a look of crushing depression underneath. Steve was just trying to understand what all of this meant, but Clint was already playing the game.

Natasha looked up at Clint, "She's gone. They took her… I tried, but it… she just stopped crying and… they said they didn't need her… they just… they needed me…"

He moved closer to her trying to decide if it was real or not. Here she was; Natasha. The same curly hair and jade green eyes, the scar on her shoulder from Budapest, and gnawing sense of urgency that if they didn't move soon they were going to get shot was all so incredibly her. Clint had a feeling as to who the 'she' was that Natasha spoke of, but he wouldn't believe it until he heard the sentence. It was almost test one because the real Natasha would know this. "Who are you talking about?"

"It was a girl…" she said quietly looking so sad and defeated. The emotions were right. She didn't use his name because they were still in the field. So far she was passing all his tests, but he didn't want to believe her.

"Is she still here? Can we get her?" Clint asked honestly wondering.

Natasha just shook her head, "I think they killed her. The crying just stopped…"

"But you didn't see it?" Clint almost demanded. If there was any chance at all…

The sound of combat boots running towards them had her gnawing sense of urgency kicking back into gear, "We have to go now!"

A few months before he would have believed it was her. Natasha had agreed to no partner left behind, but extras and others meant nothing. In fact a few months ago it still could have been her own flesh and blood because if saving them in that moment meant dying Natasha wouldn't do it. The reasoning was simple; she had changed.

The Natasha that stood before him could not have been his partner because in the past months his Natasha had made friends she would lay down on the line for and she had learned to love her baby. She would do anything for her baby and in truth no Natasha he knew would ever leave any child of hers in the hands of the Red Room. So now as he stared into the woman's sad and deceptive eyes he did the one thing he knew would prove it to him once and for all. He kissed her.

At first she was startled. Hawkeye didn't do kisses in the battlefield or any not meaningful kisses at all, so this didn't make sense… but Yelena realized it was a test too late, and before she could respond Clint had her pinned with his gun on her temple, "Where is she." He'd known because there was no fire or passion that had existed since Paris almost four years ago. Only four short years…

Steve was trying to pull Clint off her obviously thinking he'd gone mad, but Clint actually stayed strong against the super soldier. Nothing could stop him. He cocked the gun and leaned closer, "I said. Where. Is. She."

"Barton what the hell are you doing?" Steve said still trying to pull him off.

"Just in case you couldn't tell this isn't Agent Romanoff," he said with venom in his voice. "I mean she's a pretty good copy, but I know my partner and she'd never leave her child behind. Especially not if that child was about to go into the hands of the Red Room."

The fear and sadness disappeared from the woman's eyes in a second. She was just as good at that as Natasha, "Very good Clint, although I wouldn't be so sure. I've threatened a few very bad things against your unborn daughter, but Natasha didn't seem too sad."

He was even more upset by the fact that this woman knew his name, "I don't give a shit about what you did I want to know where they are."

She just laughed before butting him in the head and jumping back up. Steve tried to grab her, but she knew every move. It was a short distracting fight before the woman took off down the hallway, the two men in quick pursuit.

* * *

Natasha knew she was prepped and the pain would come any second. The men that stood over her looked remorseful. She was sure they either had their families being threatened or a very hefty sum being rewarded for doing this; cutting her baby out of her. It seemed like everyone in the room wanted to speak, but had no words until Natasha was able to muster a few, "Before you take her, just for a second… can I see her?"

This was probably against Yelena's instruction and Natasha knew she'd probably go black before she had any sort of chance to hold her daughter, but she wanted to see her. The doctor looked sadly at her and nodded briefly so that he wouldn't be reprimanded by Yelena for it later. Oh wait… Yelena wasn't coming back.

It was quiet with nothing but her heart rate beeping through the room she felt the baby kick one last time as if in a goodbye to her mother before the pain hit Natasha like a bullet. Honestly she had felt pain worse than this. She'd had six bullets in the back once and another time a sniper round through the thigh. Cuts would bleed more, but the pain isn't what made her cry out; it was the knowledge of what they were doing.

She felt the blood loss starting to effect her as her heart rate dropped and she began to get a little dizzy, but the incision had to be made slowly and despite her gut reaction to move and get away she forced herself to lay still so they could get her daughter out safely. It was the most painful thing she'd ever experienced in her entire life and she tried to think about other things; the night she met Alexei and their secret wedding; all the days spent secretly together in Moscow. She then skipped all the horrors and moved on to Clint; the first night in Paris; the mission in Spain; the string of six months spent out in the field until the oil tycoon and then Rome. Then she thought of the time he brought her flowers for her birthday just because he knew she'd hate them; the time spent away as Natalie Rushman for Stark; the call from Coulson; the fight with the Avengers. Her last memory she had time for was the night they spent together after Loki; the night that was most likely when their daughter was conceived.

Then she heard the small cry. It was small, but it was strong. The last thing she saw was a small baby half covered in blood that she could see in one second most definitely had heart.

* * *

**Oh my goodness I almost cried writing this. Rereading it wasn't as bad, but its just so sad! Now don't think this is over. Still two full chapters left and Clint still has to kick Yelena's ass. I won't say whether or not she dies, but there is some serious butt kickin. **

**Also like I said I don't know when I'll be able to do it, but a sequel is most definitely in the works. If I leave this story in more of a cliffhanger then I probably won't wait longer than a week to start, but if its more of a seperate story then it might be three or four weeks. **

**So any ideas, predictions, requests, or comments please review and I'll respond at the top of the next chapter! Also please vote for the baby name :)**

**My accounts been acting up. I posted this at 11 pm PST so sorry east coasters! Next update on Thursday around 5pm PST (cause thats the only chance I have). See you then! **


	19. Chapter 19

**When I was talking about Clint kissing 'Natasha' it was actually Yelena and thats why there was no passion and thats how he knew it definitely wasn't Natasha and was an imposter! Also the butt kicking will comense and some fluff and some Fury :) **

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Avengers.**

* * *

When Clint heard it he froze. They'd been chasing the woman who was supposed be Natasha (but now clearly wasn't) through the house, but now he heard a small cry from one of the rooms behind him. If he hadn't been there when Anthony was born he might not have recognized the sound, but the cry had definitely come from a baby. "Cap, she's this way!" Clint yelled turning on his heels and following the noise.

Steve was then torn between continuing to chase Yelena and going to help Clint, but he knew what Clint might find and so he decided to go with his friend. Of course the woman they'd been chasing wasn't done either and she started to chase them.

A man had stepped out of one of the rooms and shut the door quietly with a small bundle of blankets in his arms. Clint couldn't see the baby, but he heard the small cries and as he spoke he had never sounded more menacing, "Put the baby down."

The man was about to, slowly and carefully of course, but then Clint was tackled by a mad woman with bright red hair that he now knew with one hundred percent certainty was not who she claimed to be. He'd already had an arrow strung which he let fly towards her neck, but she was too fast and it lodged itself into the ceiling instead.

She actually got a cut up his arm with a sharp knife he then turned against her and barely got a prick into her neck before she bit into his arm and he flipped them around and kneed her in the stomach. He knew she must have watched Natasha fight before because he'd done this all before.

Meanwhile Steve felt useless because this was Clint's fight and he knew it. If his friend needed help he would lend it of course, but right now the two were moving too fast for him to get a word in, so instead he turned his attention to the man now backing down the hallway away from the fight, "I don't want to hurt you, but don't think I won't. Hand the baby over to me and you can go."

The man looked scared and Steve knew he wasn't part of the evil taking place. As he handed Steve the baby he said, "I tried to stop the bleeding… I gave her more blood but…" Steve looked down quickly at the small human placed in his arms, but it looked as healthy and pink as it could being this small. "No, no… the woman… in there," the man said pointing towards the door he'd just closed.

When Steve looked back to ask more the man was gone and he was left holding the child of the man fighting to kill what looked like the child's mother only a few feet away. It was complete chaos, but he'd been in worse battles so he quickly pressed the button on his ear, "I'm inside the house and I need medical. Agent Romanoff is apparently bleeding out and I have a new born that may or may not be healthy."

A man responded by saying they were thirty seconds away and Steve decided to get the baby away from the knives and flying arrows. He quickly stepped into the room the man had come out of, then shutting the door and leaning against it. What he saw made him sick. Natasha was lying on the table, a deep cut in her mid section was still losing blood, and she looked white as a sheet. If it wasn't for the rushing beep of the heart monitor he'd have thought she was dead.

He was then relieved when the doctors flooded the room and immediately moved to help Natasha. At one point she flat lined and Steve had just shut his eyes trying not to think of what might happen to the people responsible for this. Clint would go on a rampage and not care what it did to him or anyone else. Their baby would grow up without a mother and possibly a father. He had only a moment to actually observe that the baby had Natasha's face before it was taken from his arms by one of the doctors who was insisting on giving it a checkup because no one wanted to even think about what Clint would do if the baby died too.

Steve then realized he was useless there and he went back outside to check on Clint and the woman he was now also convinced wasn't Natasha.

Clint had sustained quite a few more injuries; a split lip, a nasty cut on the forehead, a bullet in his calf, and probably a few broken ribs. Yelena had a dislocated shoulder, was a missing tooth, and had a broken nose and a series of slashes on her calves. Now Clint had her pinned again with the gun against her head as she struggled against him with any strength she had left. The woman then began crying, "Please don't."

He just glared at her, "You kidnap my partner. You keep her locked up for weeks. You try to take my baby. Who knows what Natasha even looks like right now, but I'm going to assume all the doctors that just ran into that room aren't standing around doing nothing. I finally got to be happy. She finally got to be happy. You take that all away and think that I wouldn't kill you?" Yelena just had her eyes closed crying still, but he didn't care, "Well? You know who I am and what I do. So what do you think I'm going to do to you…"

She looked up at him her eyes slightly bloodshot, "You have to understand. I didn't want to but it was my only way out... I just wanted a way out..."

Then Clint had a moment of weakness. The look in her eyes he'd seen before. It was the same scared and sad gleam in Natasha's eyes in Paris the night he decided not to kill her. This woman came from the same place and had the same skills, but she was much crazier than Natasha had been… Still in that moment he couldn't pull the trigger and he knew Steve wouldn't either.

So instead he cuffed her and bound her knowing that with the injuries she had sustained she wouldn't be escaping anytime soon. He then leaned himself against a wall as his friend called over a doctor, "Hey Cap, this isn't a request for a new agent for Fury. I want her in cuffs forever."

Steve knelt down next to him as someone worked on bandaging his leg before they could do more, "I'll make sure he knows... And the baby looks just like Natasha."

Before Steve could say anything more Clint let himself slip into unconsciousness with a slight smile creeping on his lips.

* * *

It had only been 17 hours when Clint woke up in the SHIELD medical bay in New York. Steve was slumped over in a chair near the door. Although he didn't know him as well as some Clint new the super soldier really cared about his team and in the past weeks they'd become very good friends.

He tried to sit up assessing his injuries. His ribs hurt in protest, but he'd had worse. The cut on his arm had been stitched, while the cut on his forehead was just taped. His lip had at least scabbed over and he knew it would be a while before his calf let him put any weight on it. At this point a doctor had noticed he was awake and started asking him questions to make sure he hadn't been knocked too hard in the head. Steve then waited for the doctor to finish coming to sit by Clint, "Her name is Yelena Belova. She was also trained by the Red Room and the only way they'd let her go is if she literally replaced Natasha. This caused a bit of an obsession, so psych is going to keep her locked up for a long time."

Clint nodded waiting for what he knew Steve didn't want to say; how his family was doing. The soldier sighed then looked back up at Clint smiling, "Yelena might have been crazy, but she was right. It's a girl." If Clint hadn't been in so much pain and still worrying about his partner he would have smiled more. "She's 5 lbs, 15 ounces. The doctors said since she was born early she's a little small, but that she didn't get any infections and that she should be able to leave after a few more days of observation."

As antsy as Clint was he was still relieved to know that his daughter was okay, but he didn't think about it for long, "What about Natasha?"

Steve looked down when he asked this and Clint felt his heart drop to his stomach, "She lost a lot of blood when they got to her. They've given her several transfusions and they just got her out of surgery about an hour ago, but her heart stopped a few times before they could get her here…" Steve looked up for the last part knowing his friend deserved more than a cowardly response. "Her brain function is low and they think she may have sustained some brain damage. They're going to keep her in a medically induced coma for a while and then hopefully when they try to bring her out of it she'll be better."

Natasha had taken more bullets than him and gone through at least the same amount of torture, but nothing like this. He willed himself to remember how strong she was, but the thought of losing her as a possibility…

Steve saw Clint shrinking into himself and tried to not let his friend forget what was still good, "But you have a daughter Clint. And you know Natasha is still fighting for her." He then saw Clint trying to pick himself up and added what he'd been wanting to say for weeks, "What I said at dinner when you told everyone… I'm sorry. I'm still not used to how everything works now, but you and Natasha… you'd never give up on her."

Clint had nodded his thanks and acceptance for the apology as Steve took it as his clue to leave.

Over the next day Clint didn't ask to see his daughter even though nurses said bringing her in wouldn't be a problem. It wasn't until Fury was the one wheeling in a basinet with a screaming bundle of blankets in it that Clint had to face everything. The first thing that he addressed though was of course the fact that Fury was the one rolling in his daughter, "Sir is there something you needed to talk to me about?"

"I was wondering why you hadn't bothered to see your daughter yet? She's also been giving all the other babies headaches with her constant crying, and I am sick of hearing about it. So here you go," The director said picking up the small bundle and handing it to Clint. "I also figure now isn't a bad time for a debriefing."

So as Clint told Fury every detail of the past twenty four days he couldn't help notice that his daughter fell silent the moment she was placed in his arms. And she was so small. He couldn't remember exactly but he guessed Anthony was more than eight pounds when he was born, so his daughter felt like she was barely there. He also saw that what Steve had said to him before he passed out was true; she looked just like Natasha. Great; now he had to worry about boys. And for a moment the baby opened her eyes. They were a blue lighter than his, but he had a feeling they'd darken with a little bit of gray. For now she had not a single hair on her head, however what little bit of eyebrows were visible were blonde and he knew she'd grow up to have his light brown. He'd been wishing for Natasha's fiery red, but it didn't matter to him anymore because he didn't see a wrinkly, pink newborn in his arms, he saw his beautiful little girl.

Once Fury's questions had stopped he asked the one question Clint wasn't ready for, "What name do you want them to write down for her."

He had absolutely no idea. The only girls names he knew were of people he knew and he also knew Natasha wouldn't want to name her after Pepper (as much as they liked her). He could name her after his mother, but he had a feeling neither his daughter nor Natasha would like the name Edith. So he said the only thing he could think to, "I'm going to wait until Natasha wakes up."

Fury shrugged. It really didn't make a difference, but Clint knew his daughter deserved a name. So he went over a few to suggest in his head while the little girl slept on his chest for the first of many times.

* * *

**Oh father daughter bonding! And the next chapter is the last full length chapter and its going to be LONG. It will have Natasha's fate, a longer flashback, and settling into the family scene. I might make it two chapters but if I do I'll still post them on the same day. But the fights over. No one else is getting kidnapped I promise. The epilogue will probably just be fluff. **

**So any suggestions, thoughts, comments, guesses, requests, and ideas please review and I'll write to you at the top of the next chapter! Also voting for the name is still open until Friday night. Basically 24 hours after I post this so check the time stamp on the email :)**

**Sorry again east coasters and midwesterners. I posted at 11:30 PST. Next update Saturday and hopefully I don't get stuck at work. **


	20. Chapter 20

**So sorry about the late update! I've been slammed getting ready for camp and I just got a new puppy. But this is the longest chapter ever with two flashbacks and the whole shabang. There will be an epilogue, but I'm not sure yet how long that will be. Thank you for all the reviews for the last chapter and this entire story :) Its the best response I've gotten for any story so far and I feel honored to have had so many amazing readers!**

** So without further stalling... the last full chapter. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Avengers...**

* * *

For the next week Clint confined himself to the medical wing with his daughter. They'd both been cleared to leave days before, but neither really wanted to leave Natasha behind; or so Clint said. Really he didn't want to be alone for the crying and the feeding and the changing. He wasn't bad at it he just wanted the reassurance of someone else that he wasn't screwing up his daughter before she learned to do anything but cry, eat, poop, and sleep.

That's why when he got an unexpected visit from Pepper on the second day Clint wasn't surprised or upset.

"Tony told me you were back and I had to come see her," Pepper said peeping her head quietly in the door. 'Baby Girl Romanoff/Barton' was asleep swaddled in the blankets lying in her basinet as Clint was working on walking on his leg without crutches. "I was also told you got shot in the leg and shouldn't be out of bed."

"I've had worse," Clint said sitting himself back down on the edge of his bed not wanting to hear anything more about it from Pepper. "How's Anthony?"

"Easier to take care of than Tony, but he's only eleven days old so I can't say much yet," Pepper said setting her bag down on a chair. Under closer inspection she looked even more tired than when Clint had left and she'd also clearly been up and about because he could have accurately guessed her pregnancy pounds were already half gone.

Another thought dawned on Clint, "How did you get in here? You have to have at least a level seven clearance. You don't even have a level one."

"I made a personal call to Fury. And I had to bring you these," she said pulling out a few sets of one piece, baby clothing. Amongst them were the ducky pajamas. "I know she's smaller than most so I got a few sets that will last until you and Natasha can go shopping for her yourselves." Pepper then showed him the striped purple, polka dotted green, and, of course, pink pajamas she'd bought, and placed his daughter (after an approving nod) into the purple stripes.

The small baby let out a squeak of approval and Clint knew this had to be more comfortable than hospital blankets. "Thanks Pepper," he said smiling at his daughter. "I think she likes them."

"What's her name?" Pepper said as the small baby snuggled against her father's chest.

Clint had been thinking of a few, but still refused to name her until Natasha woke up, "I'm waiting for Natasha."

Pepper smiled, "Hopefully she doesn't have to wait much longer." She moved to get a better view of the baby's face, its unfocused eyes half open, "And she does have your eyes."

Clint nodded, and because he knew Pepper wouldn't think of him as stupid or ill prepared he asked her everything about feeding, sleeping, playing with, changing, entertaining, and checking on the general health of the baby. Pepper responded with what she knew and even helped Clint make a very long list of all the things he and Natasha never had time to buy and put stars next to the things he would want to order for delivery to their apartment right then.

It was after two hours of strait planning that Pepper got a call from Tony saying that Anthony wouldn't drink the formula they were trying so that Pepper wouldn't always have to wake up to breast feed him. Clint saw Pepper's eyes roll when he caught a glimpse of Tony saying, "…prefers the real thing. Just like his dad…"

After a minute Pepper looked apologetically at Clint, "I'm sorry I have to go. Anthony needs me to feed him."

"Thanks for your help Pepper," he said with a half fake smile. She deserved an entirely real one. It's just that with the constant worry for Natasha he wasn't capable of it.

Pepper was just about out of the room when she popped back in quickly, "I know you want to stay here until Natasha is ready to leave too and that's fine, but if you decide to stay somewhere else at night I bought three cribs for Anthony thinking he'd prefer one but he doesn't so we have an extra crib and an extra bed. Please just remember that the Romanoff-Barton family is always welcome."

Before he had a chance to respond she was flying out the door to get to her son. Even if he didn't take her up on her offer Clint appreciated the gesture.

* * *

It was on day seven of their stay when the doctors came to tell Clint that Natasha had been taken out of her medically induced coma. She was breathing on her own and they were guessing she would be awake in a few hours. Their one concern now was her mental health. They explained she may have lost some of her memory and that they had no idea what kind of brain washing she may have endured during her captivity. So Clint made the deal that he could be in the room when she woke up, but until a team of psychiatrists had debriefed her and deemed her mentally sane she wouldn't be allowed to see her daughter.

At first Clint thought it was unfair, but he knew it was true. He'd fallen head over heels for his daughter and if he'd had gone across the globe to protect her then he'd cross the universe to protect her now. It wasn't something he'd admitted to anyone else, but it was true and everyone saw it. Clint Barton was forever compromised and he wouldn't have it any other way. As much as he cared for his partner and trusted her completely he didn't know if he was really getting his partner back so for now he had to protect his assets.

When he went to sit in her room he did what he always did. He sat next to her bed with one of his hands holding up his head, the other a few inches away from her hand. If he held it she would give him a speech about sentiment and he didn't want to do anything out of the ordinary or that might upset her.

1 hour, 53 minutes, and 48 seconds from when he sat down to when she woke up. She was still clearly exhausted and her body was perhaps the weakest it had ever been. He knew even then she could have been awake in a second, but she was allowing herself the luxury of waking up slowly. It was also a good sign because it meant now she felt safe.

When she was fully awake neither had any idea what to say. She had barely spoken in a month and words weren't something her mind was capable of. There were a million thoughts spinning around her head. Clint didn't know if she'd try to kick his ass for saying he was worried about her and that he was so happy they found her. He was also afraid that word vomit would spill out and he would end up telling her every thought he'd had over the past four years since Paris. Love was not a good subject.

But Natasha started the way she always would waking up after a black out mission. She asked him a question only he would know the answer to. It was usually, 'What did you say to me in Paris while we were waiting to be collected.' The answer was obvious and burned in his mind, 'You seem lost.'

Now Natasha asked him a question she couldn't really know the answer to, but still he knew she did, "What were you going to say to me that night after Loki?"

* * *

They were both tired and battered but neither had taken fatal blows and since the team had gone to eat Shwarma they finally had a moment to themselves. Tony had offered the entire team different rooms at the tower and Natasha had discretely slipped into Clint's room after disabling the cameras. It was the first time they would really get to talk about what had happened with Loki; what had happened to them in the two months since they had last seen each other.

She came to sit next to him on the bed and they sat crisscross on the bed facing each other. He started by taking her hands and pressing his forehead to hers, "Natasha…"

She had quickly had the chance to tell him about Phil before the battle and with the weight of so many deaths on his shoulders all he could do was try to redeem himself by saving otherwise dead civilians. It seemed like he had saved the world and redeemed himself but Natasha knew what it really meant to have a ledger soaked in red. So she let him take the physical comfort in her that he craved and reminded him of what he needed to hear again, "It wasn't you that killed those people."

"But it was. It may not have been in my control, but I did it. I let those arrows loose. It was my aim that made them deadly. I led that attack, Nat," he said letting both of their heads dip lower but then she led two of their hands up to his face and made his dark blue eyes meet her dark green.

"How can you say it was you if you had no control," Natasha said still trying to convince him that he was innocent. "If it was your fault you'd be locked up right now."

He just shook his head away, "I wanted to kill you." She was quiet as the words struck her in a way she had hoped they wouldn't. "When I was fighting you a wanted to snap your neck and then cut you until your heart stopped beating. I thought about it; all of it."

"I know," she said quietly thinking about what Loki had said to her and how her reaction wasn't completely fake. "He told me what he would make you do. It wasn't you thinking that. Loki put it all in your head."

"Natasha if I'd…" he said ignoring what she was still trying to convince him of.

"You would scream…" she said Loki's words pounding in her head just the way she knew he wanted them to.

"No Natasha I would do so much more than that. What I told him…" Clint looked back up at her. "How much did he tell you?"

"Just that he knows all my secrets, but he didn't tell me any of yours," she said hinting at the fact that she was disappointed he had any. Especially ones kept from her.

He looked at her then with all the longing he'd been feeling for years. To him she was so much more than sex or a pretty face. She was more than an impressive agent and excellent partner. She was trust and comfort and reliance and beauty and everything no other woman ever could be. When he opened his mouth to speak Natasha knew what was going to come out; those three words that would start a landslide of emotion that couldn't be stopped. So she pressed her lips to his to stop the words.

For both of them it had been far too long since their last time together and both couldn't get enough. It was the battle of tongues and teeth and bodies. That is until they both realized how injured they really were. So instead they bandaged and taped wounds while leaving soft trails of kisses over each others' bodies. Then they slowly came together again to finish what they started.

* * *

Clint was about to answer her, honestly and completely, but then the psychiatrists ushered him out and she began asking, as it struck her, where her daughter was. She demanded her partner came back and it pained him to leave, but he had to.

2 hours, 27 minutes, and 34 seconds later the last doctor left the room and ushered Clint inside. His daughter was dressed in her pink pajamas swaddled in white blankets lying quietly in her father's arms.

Natasha's eyes were wide and he could see the anticipation. He sat down on her bed slowly passing their daughter to her with a reassuring look, "She's gaining weight right on schedule and her lungs are strong. Stronger than I'd like at 2 am, but I'll take it."

She continued to stare at her daughter who was gazing with unfocused eyes in her direction. It was so much simpler when she was still inside her and Natasha could provide a wall, but now here she was so tiny and helpless. "What did you name her?" Natasha asked looking up at Clint and he almost laughed.

"You really think I was able to come up with a name?" he said smiling at his girls.

"Well I thought you might have considered some," she said responding with a raised eyebrow; classic Natasha.

"I guess I had a couple ideas…" he said seeing if she even wanted to hear them. He really was happy with any name Natasha wanted, but instead she nodded for him to continue as she soaked in her daughter's features. "Well there's Olivia…"

Natasha shook her head, "She'd not an Olivia."

"Kathryn?"

"Too American."

"You are so Russian," Clint said laughing. "Then what about Katiana or Anastasia."

"Too Russian."

He just rolled his eyes playfully, "I only have one more then we're back to square one."

"Well then I hope we like it," she said stroking her daughter's cheek.

"Charlotte," he said as his daughter let out a squeak.

Natasha smiled and looked up at Clint, "I like it."

"What about a middle name?" he said connecting the name with his daughter's face; Charlotte.

"Rose," Natasha said without hesitation. Clint didn't know if it was someone she actually remembered the name of from her childhood or her time in the Red Room, but he nodded in agreement knowing he could ask later.

"Charlotte Rose Romanoff-Barton," he said and Natasha nodded in agreement. "It's perfect."

* * *

Over the next week Natasha insisted Clint stay somewhere besides a hospital with their daughter and so he moved (temporarily) into Stark Tower with little Charlotte. Everyone had come soon after Anthony was born and now even Bruce and Thor got to see the little girl. Bruce notably commented that she was doing well for a baby born at 35 weeks and Thor said she would be a sleek warrior as her parents. Clint thanked him for the compliment, but secretly hoped it wasn't true.

Every day he and Charlotte would tour two bedroom apartments throughout the city in nicer neighborhoods where Natasha's designer labels wouldn't go unappreciated and then they'd visit her in the hospital with pictures. On day six Natasha chose a two level, three bedrooms, and three bathrooms apartment bordering the Upper East Side, and because they had cashed maybe one paycheck a year so far it was more than affordable.

It had windows in the living room that stood two stories tall. Up the stairs the two master suites sat with their doors facing towards the living room windows. On the bottom floor there was a kitchen separated by a half wall and a dining room adjacent. The living room had a fireplace in the corner and the third bedroom sat unconnected to the downstairs bathroom. They decided this room would be used as their 'office', aka weapons stash.

They chose a dark wood nursery set with yellow polka dotted sheets and Pepper helped Clint go shopping for all the smaller things like bottles and taught him how to buy diapers and formula in bulk. As furniture arrived Steve and Bruce helped him move most of the furniture into their new apartment from Natasha's old one so that he and Charlotte started to be able to stay there instead of the tower.

Charlotte was officially a month old when Natasha was able to come home and Clint could tell there was a lot she wanted to do with the apartment, but that for now it would be more than satisfactory.

They were lying in bed with Charlotte nuzzled between them when Natasha decided that she really could do this, "A year ago I never would have seen us here."

A year ago Clint and Natasha had been getting back from a very steamy mission in Brazil after which Natasha decided to do some freelancing under SHIELD's observation and Clint was sent to New Mexico. Now they were living as parents to (in theirs and many others opinions) the greatest little girl to ever exist.

They had made Pepper the godmother to no one's surprise and asked Steve and Bruce if they accept the offer of co-godfathers. Bruce obviously wouldn't be around as much, but despite the other guy Clint and Natasha thought he was the most clued-in of the group. Not to mention he was actually a doctor. Whereas Steve had become a true friend to Natasha and Clint and they figured kids loved Captain America so Charlotte would probably love to play with her Uncle Steve if they were ever needed on a joint mission.

Clint smiled back at her, "I guess I didn't expect it but I'm not surprised."

Natasha was interested and propped herself up to look at Clint without disturbing their sleeping daughter, "And why is that?"

"Phil said if we kept sleeping together as often as we did I was bound to get you knocked up eventually," Clint said laughing at the words of his lost friend.

"I'd like you to remember that it won't be happening again," Natasha said as she also smiled at the knowledge of their past handler; the only person she let call her Tasha. Of course Coulson would have known this was going to happen. He knew everything about the two, even the things they didn't want to tell each other.

* * *

It was another hot day in New Mexico as Phil Coulson didn't even look uncomfortable in his suit. He was sitting up on the roof with one of his two favorite operatives eating chow mein and teasing him as a brother might, "If you miss her call her."

"She's trying to take down a weapons smuggling ring in the Russian military as an escort for hire. I think she's a little busy," he said throwing his now empty container aside. "And what about Angela? Why don't you give her a call?"

"You know she might be moving back to Portland," he said nicely placing his box down.

"So? Get her to stay," Clint said as if the answer was obvious.

"There's only two ways to get them to stay. Marriage or kids or both, and sometimes even that doesn't work," he said trying to explain how the world worked to the younger man.

"You watch Super Nanny. I bet you could do kids," Clint said teasing him for his guilty pleasure TV show.

"You and Tasha would beat us to it," he said as he watched the younger man's eyes grow wide.

"What are you talking about? I mean yah I care about her, but kids? Never," Clint said more to assure himself.

"Then just ask her to marry you," Phil said throwing Clint's suggestions back at him.

"You know I think she's called the Black Widow for a reason," Clint said laughing and checking his watch to see that his meal time was nearly over.

Phil laughed too, "Doesn't seem to stop you from loving her."

For a moment Clint stopped while standing but then he continued to walk away. He felt like that was a subject better kept in his head. Meanwhile Phil was making bets with himself on how long it would take.

* * *

**So that's it! Little Charlotte is at home with her mom and dad at their nice new house and she has a nice little family. And Coulson knew because of course, well, he's Coulson. I mentioned in this chapter all the names I liked but seven out of ten of you voted for Charlotte so that is her name :) the Rose comes from the name of Black Widow's apparent daughter in one string of the comic books. **

**An other questions, ideas for the sequel, a string of flashbacks, and what you thought of the story as a whole please review and make me the happiest author alive! Oh wait you already have.**

**The epilogue will probably be posted Friday night after I ger back and it will probably just be fluff. As for the sequel I will update this story with a twenty second chapter saying that its up for those who don't have me as an author alert. This might not come for a few months but it will because I love my little universe too much to say goodbye. Plus I already have ideas! So see you soon. **


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